That pretty much sums up my husband’s feelings towards me as well, without sounding quite as self-pitying as my attempt did! 
As for what I’d change about him: he’s very fixated on “the right way” to do things and what “should” be done and when and how, and I’d like him to be more flexible for his own mental health. He experiences a whole lot of stress when his own private reality slams up against other actual people and their realities.
I expect he’d want me to stop complaining about him.
He says the farting. 
I’ve asked him this very question, and like Dung Beetle and WhyNot SO’s, he wishes I was into athletics.
He’d love for us to do some sport together. But I only like calm nature hikes, and those are too slow for him. We might take up ballrooom dancing together though, he’s into dancing as well.
If I could change one thing about him, it’s that he would be more responsible and initiative-taking around household chores. That he would pick up after himself, and when he saw something that needed doing, did it. And if he promised to do something, he’d do it, without nagging on my part. And that he would take care of me a bit more. If I have to arrange my (our) outings much longer, make my own cups of tea when I’ve veggied out on the couch in the evening after I’ve cooked dinner, and if I have to pick out (and often buy) my own birthday gifts much longer, I will start to wonder what I actually need HIM for. <bitter>
He’d make it so I stopped torturing books by leaving them open on chair back, and accidentally sitting on them.
I don’t stop because I find bookmarks fall out and are annoying, and mass market paperbacks tend to crumble after about five years if I treat them well, and four if I don’t. I have to replace them anyway, and I find not needing bookmarks worth the slightly shorter lifespan.
I asked him, and he said he’d make me sleep more.
For him, I think I’d make him less angry when he’s driving.
My wife would like me to be more aggressive in my cleaning, and better in following up on just about everything. And she’d like me to get my teeth fixed. That will happen, in time.
And in my defense, I have gotten a lot better about cleaning and such. It just hasn’t crossed over into her levels yet.
As for what I would change on her, I would like it if she were a bit more into going out, and I would like it if she would exercise and such. Her exercising would get me exercising, which would lead to us both loosing weight and doing better for ourselves.
Her depression and anxieties, while annoying and sometimes bad, are part of what makes her her, and I’m not sure if we would change them, if we could.
I know the first thing he’d do is make me well. It’s his greatest frustration that he can’t do that. It’s the millionth reason I love him.
I think he secretly wishes I’d just once let him win an argument even if he’s wrong. We’ve been together for 17 years, and he hasn’t won one yet.
As far as what I’d change about him, I would like him to have more friends, someone besides me and his coworkers. He just has no interest in socializing, though.
My girlfriend would love it if I cleaned more and drank less, the cleaning more so than the drinking.
My boyfriend says I’m so negative. I don’t even notice it, of course - I mean, obviously you talk about the shitty crap that happens at work and don’t really mention that actually you like your job most times, right? I try to be better about it sometimes but I know I always slip back.
Probably to be less critical of her and more positive about her accomplishments.
I had several acquaintances and ex-girlfriends who just mulled around in junior college, mooched off their parents, and showed little financial responsibility or ambition. It drove me nuts and I began noticing patterns which to me indicated warning signs that the person in question was never going to get their shit together.
This made me take little hurdles my girlfriend has and really overgeneralize them. Logically I know people don’t go from lazy to overacheiver overnight, but I get very impatient with her. This results in lots of criticism heaped on her, which of course upsets her and makes act/seem more immature to me.
Fortunately, I have a stable full-time job that I am very happy in and that factor has greatly lowered my stress, which has made me a lot more patient with her and her own progress 
She’d like me to stop loudly arguing with the television. I can’t help it: I correct the grammar and pronunciation of newsreaders, I argue with the weather forecast that a “30 percent chance of rain” is meaningless, I provide a running commentary on the stupidity of commercials and ab-lib my own versions {actually, she thinks that’s pretty funny sometimes}, I call farmers communists… Me, I think that the TV is there to be argued with if it isn’t to become an entirely passive form of entertainment.
I’m sure he wishes I was less neurotic, a better dancer and more of a partygoer. I’ve been told that people wonder how we ended up together. Despite the fact that I’m a good five inches taller than him, he swears he wouldn’t change that for anything.