I don’t understand how chicks can possibly dig guys. I’m glad they do, but - yuck. I guess that applies to gay men as well. Hell, if I was a girl I’m pretty sure I’d be gay.
Why don’t they stay at home all the time to play with all the cool parts they have?
Yep. We all do that. 
I think I must be a lesbian in a man’s body, because I don’t get most of the things about guys either. Sports? Cars? Who give’s a rat’s ass?
I don’t get the jewelry thing either. The best gifts come in BIG packages which include the words “Some assembly required.”
I also don’t get the urge to look at women for the sole purpose of finding fault with their fashion choices.
Male here. What I don’t get are the decorating “illogicalllities.” Like those things, those thready doodads that women want to hang from lamps. They have a loop at the top to wrap around the lamp body and just a bunch of equal length strings hanging down.
Me: Err… it’s ugly and could catch on fire.
Wife: But they’re very popular now.
Me: But… it’s ugly and could catch on fire.
Wife: So could your underwear… while you’re asleep tonite.
Currently, many of our lamps are decorated with this ugly shit that could catch on fire.
Funny, I am female and I don’t get any of those things. I do get guys though. Nothing about them I don’t get in general.
Specific things with specific guys, sure – like why is it that my ex will bring up his current relationship woes but then drop it and refuse to talk about it? Why does he constantly ask me about my husband and our decision to be married, but refuses to talk about his upcoming marriage? Why does my husband enjoy watching me flirt with his best friend, but get pissy when I flirt with a stranger? Meh, the things I don’t get are all specific, not general.
Hell, I understand guys way better than I understand women. My daughter is very much the girly-girl stereotype. That song “Barbie Girl”? It’s her theme song. Seriously, even her friends call her Barbie. I don’t understand her. She squeals. She loves shopping and can spend hours at the store. She dances in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Talks on the phone all the time. I Don’t. Get. It. You guys figure women out – clue me in. For now, I prefer computers – they’re logical, they do what they’re told to do, nothing more, nothing less – and they’re fast. Give me a computer anyday over a person (male or female!)
Yes, apparently, they do. Both the bearers of Y chromosomes in our house are completely, utterly unable to locate anything, ever, even if they are looking directly at it. But what’s more annoying is that they don’t even TRY! You’re holding the toolbox, with the tools in it - why are you swearing and bellowing and asking me, in the bedroom folding laundry, where the g-d screwdriver is?
Yesterday when this happened, the two-year old uterus-bearer glanced into the tool box Daddy was rummaging through and immediately picked up the screwdriver and handed it to him.
I have yet to find fault with this man. 
Okay, the first part I get: Why the *fascination * with cars. I am not fascinated by cars, but I do find them interesting.
The second part has always puzzled me: “If it runs well enough to get you from Point A to Point B, then it’s sufficient for it’s purpose.”
I’ve heard similar comments from several women. Here’s what I don’t get: Are some women incapable of understanding and appreciating that there are *differences * in cars, just as there are differences in houses, clothing, and various other devices like TV’s, stoves, and phones?
What is the purpose of a house? For shelter and privacy, right? Do you like every house you see? Do you buy the first item of furniture that you see? And, do you ever evaluate an item for comfort, durability, and features?
Seriously (oops, I’m supposed to keep this light-hearted …)
Light-heartedly, is it that difficult to appreciate that some cars are different from other cars, and that some cars are “better” than other cars? And, that if some cars are better than other cars, then it makes sense to want one of those cars?
BTW, in my very first conversation with my wife, I was pleasantly surprised that she knew the exact model of the car that she bought and how it compared to other similar cars. She wasn’t fascinated with cars, but she understood the basics.
Definitely a (small) point in her favor.
Yes, sonar too. In fact, a blindfolded uterus can find an object the size of a penny on the bottom of a swimming pool and can distinguish small objects based on their shape and the material they’re made of.
The need to recount the day. Mrs. D_Odds and D_Oddsette will tell each other about their day without ever mentioning anything they did during the day. Instead, it will consist of their over-reaction to someone else’s overreaction to someone else’s overreaction…etcetera. I can’t remember the last time I gave more than a short, amusing anecdote about anyone I work with. I certainly don’t spend any time over-analyzing their reactions to anything.
Good to meet a fellow laundryman. You may also have suffered the “Did you wash my shirt that I had folded into a ball and stored in the hamper? You were not supposed to wash it”.
Women have about 17 different degrees of worn-but-clean-enought-to-use-again. What’s that about? I am sure it has to do with the fact that most of the fabrics used in their garments lose some quality indistiguishanble to men (or flat out disintegrate) in the presence of light, water, heat or cold. But still.
It’s not what she said. Is how she said it.
Why do men say the word “burp” as they burp?
Maybe it’s not all men…maybe it’s just my men…but my father has always done it, and I noticed the other day that my fiancé does it too. Why?
cormac262, the only reason I wear jewelry is because I like the way it looks. I don’t have any very expensive pieces, though, since I mainly prefer silver. I rarely go to any formal event where an expensive/elaborate piece of jewelry would be appropriate, so why own any?
Why is it always a race? How does everybody else know it’s a race? (Why I am still always shocked when, three seconds after we decide to take more than one car, he hauls me into the car, slams the door, and squeals out of the lot so he can get a head start on the other guy?)
Why are women so fond of going to the bathroom in small groups?
My husband burps “Ohmygawd”. So sexy. Not. :rolleyes:
(He’s not coming off well in this thread, is he? I love him bunches, really I do! And I’m sure I do things that drive him just as crazy. I’m definitely guilty of the many “degrees of worn-but-clean-enough-to-use-again” laundry phenom. But that’s just 'cause I hate to do laundry and really, sometimes all a blouse needs is to air out for a day.)
I love you.
The need to talk without saying anything.
“Hello.”
“Hi.”
…
“Er, what’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“Um, ok, so what are you doing?”
“Just sitting around.”
…
“So why did you cal then?”
“To talk.”
“About what?”
“Whatever, I just wanted to talk.”
“OK, so what do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.”
ARGGGHHHHHHHHCHOKESTABSTABSTAB
My gf in college did this daily, and couldn’t understand why ‘I didn’t want to talk to her’. She lived two floors down in the apartment building.
Purses.
Not the fact that women have purses. (I’ve always thought it makes sense to have a purse, rather than stuff keys in one pocket, a wallet in another, and a cell phone in another.)
It’s that, for some women, there’s no such thing as too many purses. (Obviously, related with “There’s no such thing as too many shoes”, and peripherally related to “There’s no such thing as too much chocolate.”)
The difference, though, between multiple (similar, but not quite the same) purses and multiple (similar, but not quite the same) shoes is that it’s little work to put on another pair of shoes (other than matching them with an outfit, the weather, the season, and the occasion — hmmm … ) but it’s quite a bit of work to transfer items from one purse to another, or, to make sure that multiple purses are adequately “stocked”.
I guess it’s a small price to pay for looking “just right”.
How they can read “some” and “many” and somehow come back with “always” and “all.”