[QUOTE=monstro]
Do you think men care what their girlfriends think when they let their hair grow long, or when they don’t take care of that big ole bald spot?
[/QUOTE]
The Hell?
What are we supposed to do to ‘take care of’ it?
The combover?
Spray paint?
Rogain? with it’s ‘sexual side effects’?
I’m really curious here.
[QUOTE=Satchmo]
The Hell?
What are we supposed to do to ‘take care of’ it?
The combover?
Spray paint?
Rogain? with it’s ‘sexual side effects’?
I’m really curious here.
[/QUOTE]
I’m not saying I think guys should “take care of it” (I think balding guys are kinda cute). I’m just asking if men feel the need to cover up their baldspots because that’s what the ladies want, or is it because that’s what they want.
This is in response to what Onomatopoeia asked, about women cutting their hair when men don’t prefer it that way.
The general fascination with car engines–standing around and staring at them with other men.
The enjoyment of body noises.When I was young, my father told me that “a woman can’t stand to see a man sitting down”. He is kind of an ass and my parents are divorced now so I thought it might be my parent’s relationship. Now that I have been around and am now married, it seems like he was exactly right. My wife will make up petty chores if she sees me doing something “nonproductive”. There is a good chance that I won’t be able to complete this post before she calls me to put away a single cup or something. It isn’t like I don’t do housework or take care of the kids by myself. That is basically all we do besides work and everything is in order almost all the time.
However, she seems to have an instinct about passing out work. I don’t take it lying down and it has resulted in fights but I am not sure she can help herself. Is this a woman thing or is my sample size too low?
Keep the yelling down to a dull roar, please. You know who you are.
[QUOTE=monstro]
Do you think men care what their girlfriends think when they let their hair grow long, or when they don’t take care of that big ole bald spot?
[/quote]
Yes. What kind of asshole would I be if I didn’t care what my significant other thought of the things I did?
Marc
[QUOTE=cormac262]
Perhaps some female dopers can shed some insight on this one: jewelry
[/quote]
Ooooo a sparkly! [/Jeremy (NIMH)]
That said, the majority of my sparklies are fake and the rest were gifts from family. I don’t need real jewels - I’ve had plenty of compliments on the fake ones.
On both Idol and DWTS, people who have never been seen performing are in a contest. In both cases, the individuals get better and develop before your eyes. And some of the most unlikely ones do extremely well - even to their own surprise. It’s a treat to watch people have fun, learn something new, and be appreciated for their accomplishments. And, the shows are limited engagements; they aren’t pretty much the same people for dozens and dozens of events.
So I’m not really getting a parallel to sports. I will sometimes watch Olympic sports but generally I prefer individual effort to group effort - team sports are kinda dull.
One thing that I kinda get but still never ceases to amaze me is how they dress not to impress men, but other women.
[QUOTE=athelas]
Quiddity, I think you might find this article of interest, though it doesn’t actually try to explain it logically.
[/QUOTE]
Thanks, athelas. I guess the bit about being a romantic and wanting to be adventurous is cool, but this bit
made me want to smack him. Nobody roped him and dragged him to an altar, a job, and a family. I’m not impressed with men or women who blame their failure to go live their dreams on their partners. If dude really wanted to ride horses in the mountains, bla, bla - he could have done it. There are some people who do go off and live a solitary life in the bush.
That’s an aspect of some men that I do not get - how manly can they possibly think it makes them sound to blame their lot in life on women ‘emasculating’ them? Fortunately, I haven’t run into many gents like that IRL.
[QUOTE=MGibson]
Yes. What kind of asshole would I be if I didn’t care what my significant other thought of the things I did?
Marc
[/QUOTE]
If your girlfriend said she didn’t like your hair long but YOU liked your hair long, would you cut it to please her? If she liked it long and you wanted to cut it, would her disapproval keep you from going to the barber shop?
It’s not about you being asshole, IMHO. It’s about you doing what you want to do to your own body, within reason. And getting a haircut is “within reason” IMHO.
I think **Onomatopoeia’s ** question is kind of sexist, but I’m hoping he’ll clarify what he meant. “Why would a woman do something men don’t like?” is a weird question. I’m asking if he feels that the reverse is true. Does he think men ever do things to themselves independent of a typical “woman’s” preference, without worrying about how his masculinity will be perceived. Because if so, then it shouldn’t be so hard to understand this particular behavior from women.
Didn’t know my question would be taken so harshly.
[QUOTE=monstro]
I think **Onomatopoeia’s ** question is kind of sexist, but I’m hoping he’ll clarify what he meant.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t think it’s sexist; mildly controlling, perhaps. But if he is willing to shave a beard or grow a beard (as appropriate) for his girlfriend, then maybe it’s a fair trade. 
Looks like the answer to most of these is, it’s not really what they do, it’s just a stereotype fueled by selective recollection. As in, when your guy friend does a “girl” thing you don’t notice, or when a girl doesn’t do a girl thing you don’t notice. And vice-versa. And it makes sense - why would you notice unless it was something that seems alien to you? So I don’t buy into this guy/girl stuff. But I can try to explain a little of the appeal of some things to me:
I like clothes as another subset of visual presentation. I’m a designer in various…genres? (tip of tongue syndrome) So I fully admit to caring How Things Look. I can appreciate nice, well-designed clothes just like I do cool artwork or a fascinating variable-driven computer animation concept.
I go shopping a lot, and usually take my sweetie with me (luckily he doesn’t mind). I’m petite but have a big butt and thus need to try things on, so unless I’ve already tried it on in person elsewhere or it’s unavailable locally and so awesome I’m willing to risk it, I don’t buy online. Women’s sizes have no consistency (I think that’s not so much a woman thing as a marketing thing), I like fitted clothes but my weight’s been fluctuating the last few years, and importantly, women’s separates are less classical than mens and more based on trends, so regardless of whether I follow trends or not (I generally dislike the idea), if I want something but don’t buy it right away, it disappears off the face of the earth (until the next retro generation, I guess). It happens by season too, so if I don’t buy, say, boots in the fall, I’m ass-out if my existing boots wear out in early spring; they’re nowhere to be found (except for the ridiculously impractical trendy ones). I’m too busy to shop multiple days a week or anything, so I go one weekend day for multiple hours and peruse a whole shopping district, have lunch, people watch, joke around with whoever I’m with and make a fun day of it. Like a long productive urban hike. 
If it’s something that needs to be done, why not have fun?
Along those lines, I also care about what cars look like. I actually don’t own one myself, but when I buy my first you can bet it won’t be ugly. Same thing, design. I don’t really care how fast it can go, though, since I don’t want to get pulled over or die crashing. Maybe I would care if I were less scared of that stuff.
When Viridiano (who burps “juevos”) puts away my clothes, things do go into the wrong drawer constantly. I think it’s cute. I mean, my system is completely intuitive to me, but I have no idea how his mind perceives it, because he always forgets. And I don’t know how to fold bras either. Or iron. 
I like jewelry I find pretty (uaually sparkly, elegant stuff). I don’t care if it’s cheap or expensive (unless I can’t afford it) or whether they’re real (although sometimes real gems look prettier) and I don’t wait for someone else to give it to me. I have some very nice pieces that go with a wide range of clothing and I wear them all the time. In fact, I rarely leave the house without some kind of jewelry on, and I rotate it on a daily basis based on what I feel like.
I don’t really get shoes/bags/hats demanding as much attention as clothes. I can appreciate a pretty shoe, but clothes have so much more…variation. And bags, unless they’re high-tech and cool, just bore me. Usually they’re hyped up by their brand, which I don’t care about. Sorry Kate Spade.
What I don’t get about gender stereotyping is why men who constantly talk about girls, who they’d like to bang, who is hot, etc, etc. are never thought of as airheaded bimbos like their female counterparts are. I’ve just never understood that.
Oh, and those who think only girls feel the need to constantly rehash people’s reactions to things, you clearly haven’t spent enough time in the pit and MPSIMS. 
[QUOTE=Hogwash]
“What are you thinking about?”
[/QUOTE]
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I hate when men ask this. “I’m trying to figure out why you’re talking instead of fucking me.”
Oh, and Monstre, I think people in general should be more like computers…ot’d make my life easier, anyway!
[QUOTE=monstro]
Some women don’t like long hair. Long hair = many hours of maintenance. Plus, it’s damn hot and clogs the drain.
[/quote]
True, but just as many women like long hair, have it, maintain it wonderfully, and happily deal with the vicissitudes of its burden.
[QUOTE=monstro]
And I hope this doesn’t sound snarky, but here goes: some women are strong enough that they don’t care what men think.
[/quote]
Fair enough. Cruel, but fair enough.
[QUOTE=monstro]
Do you think men care what their girlfriends think when they let their hair grow long, or when they don’t take care of that big ole bald spot?
[/quote]
(a) Believe me when I tell you that I care a great deal about what my SO thinks about my entire appearance, including my hair. She’s a goddess, (a goddess who keeps bringing up the past, but I guess you can’t have everything :p) and I don’t deserve her. How I look is important to her, especially when we’re out with her friends…I’m supposedly a “reflection of her life choices”…don’t ask. (b) What the heck, besides a transplant, is a man supposed to do about his big ole bald spot?
[QUOTE=monstro]
I know people questioned my femininity when I cut my hair, but they weren’t the ones who had to spend hours brushing and combing a giant mane every day. I have other things I’d rather do.
[/quote]
For me it’s not about questioning one’s femininity. A woman can be sexy and feminine with long or short hair. My point is attractive woman are more attractive with longer hair. I see very attractive women every day, some with short hair, some with long, and in-between. But whenever I see someone with a pageboy cut or some other short style, whom I consider an absolute knockout, I always imagine how mind-blowing she’d look with longer hair.
[QUOTE=monstro]
And I also know I can be feminine without having flowing tresses. I define my feminimity, not the guys around me.
[/quote]
True, but we’re not trying to define you. we just want you to look the way you did when you were 22…forever. Now is that so much to ask?
Anyway, my question wasn’t meant to be sexist…eh, who am I kidding? This whole thread is sexist. It was, however, simply a response to the OP about one of the things I (and other men I know) don’t get about women. You know we love your hair. We adore your hair. We also know that, from time to time, you have to cut it. All we’re saying is before that dreaded day comes (a) give us a warning. Ease us into the inevitable horror of it, and (b) don’t lop it all off. Leave us something to run our fingers through and enough to bring to our noses to take in that sweet, intoxicating strawberry fragrance. I’m sorry, but the Selsun Blue scent of scalp just doesn’t do it for me.
[QUOTE=Onomatopoeia]
2) Fake breasts - They don’t look natural, no matter how well they’re done.
[/QUOTE]
Compared to what? Wonder bras from the 50’s?
It depends on the type and how well they were done. And if I’m feeling them, then I don’t much care at that point. 
I think that is kind of the point of breasts, after all. I’m not sure how you can tell the difference between a natural ‘C’ and a fake ‘C’ without getting more personal than typically is the norm on the street.
I told my SO honestly she didn’t need to get them, but she did and I’m glad of it. They are nicer than before.
Yeah, I figured I’d divorce my wife because she had plastic surgery. :rolleyes:
And what is wrong with ‘easy’? What is the benefit of making things ‘difficult’?
My wife wasn’t happy with her appearance. She fixed the problem. Now she is happy. I’m happy, too. Do you have pierced ears, a tattoo, pluck your eyebrows? Why did you decide to mutilate yourself in this way if you do?
Okay then, why don’t men like dressing in women’s clothes? Women dress in men’s clothes all the time.
Next question: what is it about men and boys that makes them trumpet their slightest achievement as if it were the greatest accomplishment ever? Why does a man prance around singing, “I am the mighty food god,” because once a week he’s the one who feeds the dog?
Many’s the time I’ve discussed a test with a male colleague beforehand where he predicts that he will get the highest score ever recorded in history, and then after the fact we find out he got a mediocre score, lower than mine, and I hadn’t bragged at all about how well I would do.
Then when it’s time for feedback on the test, his feedback is worthless because he *will not * admit that he didn’t know every answer; he’ll just insist that the questions were worded badly and that whoever wrote the test was incompetent.
Something I don’t get: Alloy Wheels.
It’s certainly not something all men are concerned about, I think, but I’ve never heard of a female shopping around and looking at hundreds like some guy’s I’ve talked to. So it fits in this thread.
I know the practical benefits to alloys, but seriously, if they fit the car they’re fine. There’s no need to double the price so you can have ones that look ‘just right’
Also, Onomatopoeia, remember that Sigourney Weaver’s haircut was the best thing about the film Alien 3.
[QUOTE=essell]
Also, Onomatopoeia, remember that Sigourney Weaver’s haircut was the best thing about the film Alien 3.
[/QUOTE]
Hah! You’re probably right.
I don’t understand this whole talk about how the opposite sex should be more like computers. I find that women are exactly like computers. Lately, what I’ve been getting a lot of is
404 Not Found
[QUOTE=monstro]
If your girlfriend said she didn’t like your hair long but YOU liked your hair long, would you cut it to please her?
[/QUOTE]
Depnds entirely on the girlfriend, but yeah, I’d go to certain lengths to make sure my appearance pleased her. Why do you think that lately I’ve been eating like a 4-year-old girl and working out like the Governator? Because my blubber is aesthetically pleasing to me? Because I don’t want to have a massive coronary by the age of 50? Girl, you have a lot to learn about about how guys think.
But it depends on the girl. With my ex, I pretty much did what I wanted. I was willing to go as far as showering before seeing her. The goddess I’m attempting to woo? I’d cut off my very penis if I thought it would get her to play with my…
Hold on a minute, I need to work out a tricky logic problem here. I’ll get back to you.
[QUOTE=bluethree]
Next question: what is it about men and boys that makes them trumpet their slightest achievement as if it were the greatest accomplishment ever? Why does a man prance around singing, “I am the mighty food god,” because once a week he’s the one who feeds the dog?
[/QUOTE]
John Gray says that men are about accomplishment; they derive their senses of self-worth from accomplishment, so it makes sense that they like to be recognized for their accomplishments.
The converse is that failure means they’re bad, wrong, and unworthy (at least, many will feel that way). So it’s not much of a stretch that someone would want to deny failure, at least to an audience.
Of course, as with any generalization, it doesn’t apply to all men, but it’s not a bad thing to show appreciation and admiration when someone does something for you and if it does a man good to be appreciated for feeding the dog, there’s nothing wrong with that. I think many of us are too miserly with appreciation, anyway.
I have taken care to show more appreciation to fellows I’ve known and I’ve advised female friends to do the same and it’s had very positive results for all of us.