Why doesn’t “You’re welcome” carry the added baggage that you might not really be welcome?
Posts like this make me want to say nothing but “No problem” to “Thank you.”
How’s that curtsey thing workin for ya?
Also, pas de quoi.
Hmm. I could swear I was told, by a French woman who was helping me learn a few phrases, that French had no “you’re welcome”. I learned “merci” and “merci beau coup (sp?)” but I asked her about “you’re welcome”.
Could she have meant that it is generally unnecessary to say it?
I have no idea. I speak from the deep well of wisdom that transpires from having taken high school French some 40 odd years ago.
Does German have a “You’re welcome”? I remember taking it in college but never learning it…
I don’t think this is new. I recall someone decribing the endless set of 'thank you’s that could be generated by a simple encounter in polite English society of the past. The phrase ‘thank you’ isn’t just an expression of gratitude, it’s can be a simple acknowledgement, a response meaning the same as ‘your welcome’, an polite form of interjection, or even a sarcastic response that where the word ‘thanks’ is substituted for something else.
I also find inappropriate florid use ‘thank you’ on the rise, which makes me feel uneasy using ‘your welcome’ as a response, so ‘no problem’ or echoing ‘thank you’ back makes more sense than sounding like I’ve actually done anything to be thanked for.
Back to the sarcastic side, I spent a year in CA in the 80’s, and got my first exposure to the ubiquitous ‘have a nice day’. It didn’t take long to realize it meant something entirely different. I prefer the crass honesty of the east coast.
In addition to Freud’s point, that ‘you’re welcome’ could be twisted to imply that there exists such a situation where one might* not *be welcome, there is also the need to break this to you…
Yes, there exists a situation where taking your money might be a problem. Plenty of problems can present themselves during a business transaction. But Meyer was happily letting the customer know that indeed there was no problem at all to serve her.
The people who object to ‘you’re welcome’ are also throwing me off with that. As has been pointed out already, it implies that one is totally and completely welcome to anything. That is a pretty nice sentiment.
As for me, I’m one of those hams who likes to lay it on extra thick and say, “The pleasure was all mine” or something equally ridiculous.
If you saw no craziness whatsoever during your stint in retail, consider yourself extremely lucky. The vast majority of my customers were just fine, but a few were utterly batshit, and if you search for threads titled things like “crazy customer stories” you’ll see that that’s not unusual.
Also, you sometimes said “thank you” in response to their thanks? Isn’t that completely crass and classless and all-round terrible in your world view?
So, is it just the etiquette of your young years that is the undisputed ‘right’ etiquette? What about your fathers etiquette, or his fathers? Do you follow the etiquette rules of the 19th century? Why not?
No, and I am curious to learn how you could possibly think so.
“You” carries no baggage, ditto “are” ditto “welcome”.
Posts like yours, which interpret language in a sort of perverted newage
newspeak, so that words mean the opposite of what they have meant
for ccenturies make me want to throw up. That is, on the next person
I hear say “no problem”.
It is the same as “please”, i.e. “bitte”. At least that is what I learned. There may be other variations.
Yeah, lucky me.
No. Why should it? I really wish you, that Freudian Slippry guy and several others
would get over this newage newspeak shit of yours.
As a matter of fact, I doubt good manners have changed much since
my father’s time, and since the 19th century. It may be that the bad
manners actuallty started with the “do your thing” mantra of my late
60s early 70s youth (even though “No Problem” had not yet reared its
ugly head.
Frankly I think too many of my generation gave up on any sensible
semblance of discipline for their children, including teaching them
basic manners, and the scandalous divorce rate did not help either.
I agree. It was disappointing when I worked for giant chains and they allowed customers to be assholes and gave them what they wanted. It set a bad precedent IMO.
Later I got to work for small independent operations and when people were jerks we got to show them the door. When customers got unruly the staff liked to come get me because I remained polite but told them in direct terms that rude and insulting behavior was not tolerated. They either calmed down and we resolved a problem like adults, or they left.
I had a lovely older gent who does instrument repairs talk to me about firing customers. There are times you know a customer is more trouble than they’re worth. They will consistently complain and try to get something. It’s okay to not do business with them.
The goal of etiquette is to lubricate the wheels of society so that we can all get along together in peace and harmony. This means that yes it would be polite of the checkout clerk to say you’re welcome when you say thank you. But this is a two way street and it is your job as well to not get all huffy if they say no problem or no worries or cheers. The word doesn’t actually matter as much as the intent and when you make a stink about it, you are being just as rude or even ruder than they are. Also, are you seriously blaming the divorce rate? Yeah, I’m sure that’s where the problem is.
OK, so *why *does “No problem” carry any baggage? “No” = no baggage. “Problem” = no baggage. Yes, conceivably there could be situations where it is a problem. Why is that so offensive to you? You could apply the exact same logic and say, “It should be obvious that I’m welcome to ask for a favor.” Why is “No problem” fraught with issues when “You’re welcome” isn’t?
How am I perverting language? I’m applying the same standards to one phrase that you applied to another.
Well, that’s why I find it so funny.
There really is no problem with having no problem.
I also like no worries.
It’s very interesting that you’re lecturing people about manners, and talking to them like this at the same time. But anyway. The sentiment and general understanding of ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘no problem’ is more or less identical, apart from the formality of the phrases. I know it isn’t for you, and probably a few others who are stuck in the past, but unfortunately for you English isn’t a dead language, it is changing. You have to change with it, or you’ll just get het up over really silly inconsequential things like this. Just have a gay old time!
French equivalents of “you’re welcome” I have heard:
Pas de tout.
Je vous en prie, followed by A votre service.
The second one was an example in a French text book many many years ago.
I do not like “not a problem” as a substitute for “you’re welcome” in many cases, especially from telephone customer service representatives who have put me on hold a dozen times before they’ve been able to correct a wrong-item-shipped/ double-billed/never-received situation.
CS rep: “Thank you for holding. We’re going to refund the extra charge and send you the correct item. Your RMA number is 12345.”
Me: “Thank you.”
CS rep: “NOT a problem!” As if to imply that by saying “thank you” I was apologizing for causing them such a hassle by asking them to deal with their company’s mistake and making them put me on hold for 20 minutes. No, dickhead, say “you’re welcome-- thank you for the opportunity to fix the mistake”.
Sheesh.
But then I’m old-ish.
Bolding mine. Geezus Krist, you folks require some groveling, don’t you?
Damn right, and get off my my lawn, whippersnapper.
Okay colonial, just to be clear, you think ‘you’re welcome’, ideally accompanied by a dainty little curtsy probably, is the *only *acceptable response to ‘thank you’. You specifically said that it is the *only *reply with class:
But then you say:
So you’re going against your earlier statement because now you are saying that there are other acceptable responses - namely ‘thank you’. But:
Now it’s ‘shit’ for me to take you at your word that absolutely nothing but ‘you’re welcome’ is acceptable. Why is it okay to change the ‘proper’ etiquette phrase when you want to, but not when the other person in the conversation wants to?