Just let him grow. The advantages of letting him grow to be tall, even too tall, outweigh the risks or drawbacks.
The worst thing you could do is overcorrect and leave him, say, 5’4 tall. That would be almost unforgivable for a man.
HAS the doctor said there’s something to be concerned about? That’s all that matters.
I think if you polled all men, something like 80% would like to be taller, 18% are fine with their height, and 2% want to be shorter.
Your kid isn’t the “average man”, but I’d err on the side of being tall.
Remember the old saying, “the bigger they are, the harder they hit.”
It is often literally true that the bigger they are the harder they hit you.
LOL
Health issues also don’t always come with height. It is rather, a case by case basis.
And even then, your maxim is only true, and then just partially true, with extreme height. Such as, say, over 6-4 or so.
And even then, I’d guess that negative orthopedic issues only follow in perhaps 20% or do of men that tall.
BTW…I am a taller guy and a physical therapist. So I know of what I speak.
Hope this helps.
Cheers.
Taking this out of this specific case … how much would you put your male child through and how much would you be willing spend to move him from say the 25% (roughly just under 5’8) to just a bit over the 75%ile (about 6’)?
So if I understand the concern correctly. he is going through precocious puberty now, and the ides is that in order to possibly achieve his original projected height would be chemically halt his puberty in order to allow him to continue to grow?
Or have I hopelessly misunderstood?
It sounds like if you do nothing to interfere, the concern is that he will not be as tall as if you halted puberty?
If your son doesn’t have a treatable illness, leave him alone.
My son, at 19, is 5’5’. While it is possible he’ll grow a little more (his puberty started late and clearly he’s not done yet), short of a miracle (heh) he’s going to be decidedly on the short side for American men.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wish he was a little taller, because I do think it could make things a bit easier for him overall, but it actually bothers me far less than I thought it would (we’ve known for a long time he’d probably be short, as he was very tiny as a toddler but his bone age study said he was growing normally).
On the romance front, who the hell wants their son to end up with a woman who is so superficial that she can’t date a man shorter than she is? My son’s long-time GF is great - she was taller than him for a little while and she liked that. He’s now taller than she is and almost certainly she’s achieved her full adult height. While she doesn’t really care, she enjoys acting slightly put out by the fact she’s no longer the taller/stronger person in the relationship. It’s cute.
I realize you are more worried about “too tall” than “too short,” but nonetheless I think there is a lesson here, and it’s this: just accept your kid for who they are. Raise 'em right, add in a little luck, and you’ll have a child you can proudly watch grow to adulthood - regardless of what exact form that adulthood takes.
You mentioned that there are other problems with precocious puberty, and that these have you considering putting a stop to it for some yet-to-be-determined amount of time. I think the negative reactions above are due to people not quite getting this part of the story.
What are the problems precocious puberty could cause? How important are they?
My sense is that hormonal intervention at this age often leads to unforeseen trouble. But then, it’s mostly girls who are affected by it. I was 5’6" in the sixth grade, and wound up 5’ 9.5" (female type). I had a friend (male type) who was 5’ 5" when he left for college and came back 6’ 1". You just never know, is what I’m saying.
So my advice is to leave the height out of the equation. Make the decision based upon the pros and cons of mucking about with his body’s natural tendencies.
Oh, and one more thing, I used to play softball with a guy who was 7’ tall. Perfectly normal guy in every other respect. He played short stop (cue laughter). NOTHING went out to left field unless it was a home run; he went to college on a baseball scholarship. He was great fun to hang with, and wondrously patient with people who couldn’t stop talking about his height. He was also an engineer.
If it ain’t broken…
I know a guy who had terrible experiences with hormonal treatments. That kind of shit will never be compensated by the ~4 inches less from his projected 7’3".
Risk/benefit says leave well enough alone.
While I understand the social meme of taller is better for men and the notion that in a straight relationship the man should always be taller I’ve known quite a few men in my life that were under 5 foot 10 (my husband of 30 years was 5 foot 6) and a good half dozen shorter than 5 foot 3 me, and they all did fine. Sure, they dealt with some crap, and some superficial women who rejected them for their height, but they all dated, had relationships, most married, and long-term wasn’t that big a deal. Then again, my husband’s cousin who was 7 feet tall *also *dealt with a ton of crap around his height, from difficulty buying clothes to people picking fights with him.
Bottom line, people will always find a reason to criticize you or be biased. If your son is going to be anywhere within the normal height range leave well enough alone, and if he isn’t, his overall health is more importan that how tall he is (or isn’t).
I suspect the causation there may be backwards: is it that being tall causes health issues, or that some people are tall as a symptom of certain health issues, but because as a society we prefer taller, we don’t call it a symptom?
I’d worry more about why is he going into puberty so early and about the secondary effects of both letting be and giving him hormones, than about the height.
I’ve got a good friend who is short, maybe 5’6" or so. He’s a successful attorney, happily married and a wonderful father to a couple of boys who will also likely be short. They aren’t concerned.
A neighbor from when I was growing up was probably 5’7" and had a bunch of children. Everyone was on the short side, but their family was so much better off than our normal family with stunted emotional growth.
Just be happy he is healthy and let him be who he is going to be.
Funny thread, it brought a thought up about the controversy with parents giving their kids puberty blockers.
What if your kids turns out to be a trans woman and prefers the traditionally feminine ideal height for a woman (less than 5ft 9in imo). Giviing him growth hormone would most likely make him very tall, strong and masculine which would destroy his chances of being girly.
Was his spouse taller or shorter?
FWIW I know there’s speculation out there that a lot of Michael Jackson’s physical and emotional problems might have started with a medicine intended to prevent acne that had the effect of interfering with his puberty.
RivkahChaya, is your husband’s preference to delay puberty for longer than your preference? I wouldn’t recommend delaying it past age 13-14 or so – being a late bloomer in terms of puberty can be tough on a boy (socially), from my memory.
My daughter was over 95th percentile in height from the time she was born until 5th grade. Her pediatrician figured she’d end up being around 5’10". I’m 5’10", her dad is 6’2", supposedly my parents were 5’9" (mother) and 6’4" (father). Her dad’s dad was 6’7". Her dad’s mom is 5’1" on a good day. She stopped at 5’5", much to her dismay.
Just because a doctor predicts his height, doesn’t mean that will happen.
And, truthfully, 6’7" isn’t OVERLY tall, nowadays. It’s not “look at that monster” height. Looking at my daughters’ friend circle, all 23-24 years old, she has one female friend that is shorter than she is. The rest are between 5’6" - 6’3". She has a male friend who stands at 6’10" (and maybe 180 lbs, soaking wet). A height that previously was normal, 5’5", now makes her the runt of the litter.
Personally, I’d say let him attain his natural height.
You make it sound like 5’6 to 7 is exceptionally short … you do realize that about one out of ten adult American males is 5’6 or shorter? It is not an outlier height. 75% of adult American women are 5’6 or shorter. Pretty easy for us males in that 10%ile to find women who we look up to for their intellect and emotional strength but not literally.
OTOH I do admit that as a relatively shorter male I tended not to pursue women who were much taller than me. And I’ve known some taller women who have been frustrated that men shorter than them have that tendency. The problem there sometimes is not a woman’s “superficiality” but the insecurity of males.
Not to go off topic but have you seen couples where the woman was:
1.) same height as man
2.) slightly taller than man
3.) significantly taller than man
I’ve yet to see such couples of number 1-3. Without the use of heels of course. I live in Ireland of course so it’s still quite a conservative country,