What's a good adult height for a man?

In My Humble Opinion
1

We are facing a situation where we may essentially be selecting our son’s height.

Here’s what is going on. He is right now 10 years, and 8 months, and 5’2, which is over the 100th percentile for that age. His projected height is 6’7, although his father had an unusual growth pattern, and was always very tall as a child, but ended up being “only” 6’2. We are having the boychik tested with hand x-rays to get a better idea of his final adult height.

He has been going into precocious puberty.

This could stop his growth, but we can’t be sure by how much. He could end up being 5’6 or 5’7. I don’t want to say there’s anything wrong with that, but there are other problems with precocious puberty, and we will have to make a decision as to whether to stop it.

The irony is, when he was first projected to be really tall, his doctor said that is we wanted him to be a little shorter, one remedy was to start puberty early (he meant at like, 12 & 1/2, as opposed to 14, not at 10).

If we postpone puberty for a couple of years, then he will probably end up being 5’11-6’0, which to me is an ideal height for a man. Very tall men can have health problems, and short men can face social issues-- not that 5’7 is terribly short, but a miscalculation could make him even shorter than that.

I have dated men of all different heights, including one who was shorter than I was, but I know that some women think the man has to be taller. I don’t want my son to come to me when he’s 5’6 and got rejected by a woman who was 5’7, and ask “Why did you do this to me?”

On the other hand, I really don’t want him to be 6’7, and have health problems.

My feeling right now is to delay puberty just long enough to let him grow to right around 6’0. My husband thinks that whatever height he’s biologically destined to be, we should let him grow to be, even if it’s 6’7.

Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do?

More importantly, did you involve your son in the decision? We both at least agree that we are going to tell are son what is going on. Ultimately, if the doctor says that one thing or another is in his best interests, we will probably go with that, but we will give a lot of weight to what our son wants. He is pretty thoughtful and rational for his age.

Would other people who are parents involve your child in this, or would you just make the decision for him?

2

Bigger is not necessarily better… There are health issues that come with height.

Also, it is literally true that “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

I hope you can work out a balanced health-care plan taking all factors into account – as I’m sure you’re striving to do. Good luck to you all.

3

I understand your concern as a parent, but IMHO you are overthinking this. While a “projected height” of 6’ 7" is pretty tall, in and of itself it by no means guarantees health problems, like you seem to fear. Unless your son has been diagnosed with a pathological condition, which it sounds like he has not, there is nothing to treat, and moreover the probability he will even grow that tall is quite small (cf his father). I would not be so casual about hormonal intervention.

4

I would agree with your husband. I don’t think that 6’ is considered tall anymore. Lots of boys and some of the girls in high school are 6’ 2" and up.

5

I don’t understand. Are the doctors recommending halting his growth as a medical necessity?

Reading this sentence makes me angry with you and your son, and makes me feel sympathy for a certain trans-phobic member of this board. None of us had the option of choosing to be taller in order to be more attractive to women, so he shouldn’t either, so I will refrain from commenting further.

6

Don’t be angry with my son. He never said that. I’m just trying to project every possible outcome.

Actually, the sports he likes are baseball and soccer, and he doesn’t like basketball at all, because he is sick of people asking him if he plays it. Maybe he’ll choose to be a little shorter. He wants to play infield, but the taller players always get sent to outfield. He would love to play first base or shortstop.

ETA: His growth will halt if he goes through precocious puberty, although we don’t know by how much. Since he is five two now, and will probably grow four-five inches if we do not halt the puberty, he will be 5’6, 5’7-- unless somehow genes will out, and he still manages to be 5’10 or something.

7

There must be more to this story than I am following here or that you’ve provided. A projected height of 6’7 isn’t so tall as to justify screwing with liberty and hormones in my opinion. I know a lot of kids who were six feet tall in middle school and didn’t grow a lick. I also know some who grew a foot or more in high school.

Unless there are health issues or he would be outside of what is considered “normal” ( maybe 5’5 to 7’0) why mess with it?

8

Maybe he’ll choose to be shorter? You have a designer baby/child?

9

I’m just over 6’. I think height has several advantages for males and I wouldn’t have minded a couple more inches.

10

Maybe in Little League but when you get to college or pros you play where you are needed and where you can have the most impact. Cal Ripken was 6’4"and considered a freak when he first came up as a shortstop. The norm was just shy of 6 feet. He became one of the five or ten best shortstops to ever play the game and changed the standards for what a shortstop looked like. When you get professional coaching everything changes. Most pro ballplayers played shortstop and pitched in HS. About the only ones who don’t regularly get moved around are catchers. You can play outfield all your life and find yourself at 2nd base two weeks into your college career.

11

Sorry but I am very confused by your op.

When did he start puberty? If he is recently started then he is not in precocious puberty. Even calling before 9 (the official criteria) is a stretch nowadays (it is commonly starting earlier than it used to, which was, on average, 11 1/2 to 12).

I am assuming that when you say his “projected height is 6’7” you are meaning following along the curve from where he is now. (Although even that by my look at the curves come more to 6’4 not 6’7.) But if he is in puberty on the early side he won’t hit that, even if you immediately tried to stop it (which would generally not be advised).

And unless he is quite far along in puberty (like most of the way through) he won’t be “only” 5’6 or 7 (which in my family we call “on the taller side” thank you very much! :)) Odds are he’s about two years ahead of average in puberty and will thus have a bone age of about 12 3/4 (give or take 6 months) predicting an adult height somewhat close to Dad’s height.

How tall are you? The best bet projection remains to take your height and add 5 inches to it and place his expected height to be somewhere between that number and Dad’s height.

A doctor suggested considering starting puberty early to make him less tall?/ That is waay outside of standard of care and for very good reason.

12

I would not worry about it much. I am just short of 6’ 2" and it mostly an advantage. I don’t know what it means in terms of human psychology but people truly respond well to taller males. Of course he will get the typical and weather up there jokes but it is will be mostly advantageous. I work with a few people that make me feel tiny and they all make a shit-ton of money mostly for being huge.

I worked with someone that was over 6’ 8" once. He was well respected even though he didn’t do that much. The biggest problem he had was fitting into cars so he bought a pickup truck with a high cab. Problem solved. Height is rarely a problem in the short to medium term.

13

I’m trying and failing to come up with any conceivable interpretation for “over the 100th percentile”.

To the question at hand: Your doctor might tell you which decision he deems healthiest, and your son can tell you what he’d prefer. No other opinions are relevant here, and certainly not ours.

14

I agree with your husband that you shouldn’t mess with his system trying to achieve a “perfect” height.

15

When he was three, he was enormous, and we were actually worried there was something wrong with him. We asked the doctor if that was possible, and he said he didn’t think so, because he really wasn’t that tall, no matter what he looked like to us (he grew 13 inches from age 1 to 3, and was very thin at that point, and was getting supplements), but she did a quick calculation based on his height at that point and said he could be as tall as 6’7, but that height wasn’t abnormal. We only needed to worry if he kept gaining in the amount he grew each year. His growth did slow down, but he still kept making net gains over his peers. His school makes him take gym class with the kids a grade ahead, and he is still one of the biggest kids.

Anyway, the doctor made an off-hand comment that if there was ever anything to be concerned about, it was possible to stop his growth by putting him into puberty early.

I guess she meant if he was 6’4 in the 6th grade.

I don’t know.

I’m just worried about my son.

16

Let me give you my opinion. I wouldn’t do anything whatsoever and let your child progress on their own growth rate. Only time can tell if that will end up being 5’9" or 6’7". It doesn’t really matter. The only thing I ask for medical professionals that deal with kids is to make sure they actually know what they are talking about. Lots of them don’t and the decisions can be irreversible.

17

My best friend in junior/senior high school was 6’3" at the start of 7th grade. That’s where he topped out. He was also skinny as a rail and could eat 3 Big Macs for lunch every day and never gain an ounce.

18

Oh c’mon, you know it means she saw the chart with the curves and he’s above the top line. That’s how lots of typical people interpret those curves. The top line is of course not 100%, or even 99%ile … it is the 95%ile. Since she’s given his age and height I can easily tell you his actual percentile - he’s at the 98%ile for chronological age. If my guess that his bone age is about 12 3/4 then he’s at somewhere near the 75%ile for bone age, which again would predict an adult height of about 6’ … just a bit shorter than dad and near what mom thinks is ideal. Not written in stone even with a bone age but pretty likely pretty close (and if mom is roughly 5’6 then we’d have multiple prediction methods that converge, giving greater confidence). Stage of puberty can be used to make the prediction as well.

Not your pediatrician of course but nevertheless RivkahChaya this is nothing to worry about. There should be zero consideration to stopping puberty based on height considerations.

19

I really doubt that your son would get rejected b/c of his height , I seen couple of were the woman is taller than the man . My dad was 5’ 11 " tall and I thought that was good height , mom was 5’ 2" so this made dad looks taller. So I say
my dad height is a decent height for a man and as long you don’t made a big issue about son height he should be find he if he not 6ft tall. Have you asked your son how tall he would like to be ?

20

Tall is good, in general, but after 6’ 2", the disadvantages start to outweigh the advantages. Unless you are an NBA player.