We are facing a situation where we may essentially be selecting our son’s height.
Here’s what is going on. He is right now 10 years, and 8 months, and 5’2, which is over the 100th percentile for that age. His projected height is 6’7, although his father had an unusual growth pattern, and was always very tall as a child, but ended up being “only” 6’2. We are having the boychik tested with hand x-rays to get a better idea of his final adult height.
He has been going into precocious puberty.
This could stop his growth, but we can’t be sure by how much. He could end up being 5’6 or 5’7. I don’t want to say there’s anything wrong with that, but there are other problems with precocious puberty, and we will have to make a decision as to whether to stop it.
The irony is, when he was first projected to be really tall, his doctor said that is we wanted him to be a little shorter, one remedy was to start puberty early (he meant at like, 12 & 1/2, as opposed to 14, not at 10).
If we postpone puberty for a couple of years, then he will probably end up being 5’11-6’0, which to me is an ideal height for a man. Very tall men can have health problems, and short men can face social issues-- not that 5’7 is terribly short, but a miscalculation could make him even shorter than that.
I have dated men of all different heights, including one who was shorter than I was, but I know that some women think the man has to be taller. I don’t want my son to come to me when he’s 5’6 and got rejected by a woman who was 5’7, and ask “Why did you do this to me?”
On the other hand, I really don’t want him to be 6’7, and have health problems.
My feeling right now is to delay puberty just long enough to let him grow to right around 6’0. My husband thinks that whatever height he’s biologically destined to be, we should let him grow to be, even if it’s 6’7.
Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do?
More importantly, did you involve your son in the decision? We both at least agree that we are going to tell are son what is going on. Ultimately, if the doctor says that one thing or another is in his best interests, we will probably go with that, but we will give a lot of weight to what our son wants. He is pretty thoughtful and rational for his age.
Would other people who are parents involve your child in this, or would you just make the decision for him?