This was brought to mind by the thread about “stepping in or not stepping in” when a girlfriend or wife is hit on by an aggressive flirt.
I’m of average build and weight, 5’10", 175, but not very athletic. I’ve not thrown a punch in 20+ years (35 now).
I have no problem “stepping in” and telling a larger person to leave my wife alone, but I fear the consequences of such an act would not be pretty for me.
In your view, is it my duty as a husband and father to maximize my ability to protect my loved ones? Should I take practical martial arts type classes (say Brazillian Ju Jitsu?)
I think you worry too much. Most people will back off if you tell them to lay off your wife. (Even the bullies) JUst make sure you do it with a firm voice.
And besides an ass kicking isn’t really all that bad especially when come to defending a ladies honor. I remember once I got my ass kicked for exactly that; and boy let me tell you when it was all over my girlfriend at the time WORSHIPED the ground I walked on for several weeks after the fact. Let me put it to ya this way… The ass kicking I got was well worth the attention I got from her! 
There is a difference between knowing how to damage and having the will to do damage. If you knew how, could you really hurt a guy? I mean, kick him in the nuts, or hit his adam’s apple? A lot of people can’t.
In terms of protecting your loved ones, sometimes it’s enough to show the willingness to stand your ground in from of the threat.
Exactly correct, Spooje. Stand your ground, because you will always regret it if you don’t. You might have to put up with a final insult or some posturing, but the situation will resolve itself if you don’t react. If he takes a swing at you, block it as best you can and punch him in the throat. He’ll drop in a heap and you can always claim you were going for his chin and missed.
A friend of mine was killed stepping in to defend a woman. But I wouldn’t take any martial arts classes. Just be firm when you tell the guy to back off. Put your arm around your wife and lead her away from the altercation. Nine times out of ten, the guy will back off.
GariGirlfriend is actually pretty good looking so i’ve actually had this quite a bit. I’ve found that my strategy varies according to the situation.
The first thing i find myself doing automatically is work out “can i take him?”
if the answer is “yes” then i’ll try and diffuse the situation without violence but in a way that isn’t going to make me look bad - be polite but firm etc.
if that doesn’t work then i’ll be firmer - i’ll never start anything but i will not backdown.
Hopefully he’s smart enough to realise that he’s going down if he tries anything and will back down. If he starts something then, as Evil One said, dodge and punch.
If the answer is No (I don’t think i can take him) then i still won’t back down.
Even if it means earning an arse kicking - its just one of those things you have to do, plus, as shakes said, there can be benefits later on.
I will, however, do a quick “ally check”.
I tend to drink in a few bars/pubs that i know well. Therefore even if i didn’t come in with mates then there is a reasonable chance that i’ll know the landlord/manager, staff or regulars well enough that if something kicks off they’ll step in on my side.
If i’m in a club or bar that i don’t know, then i’ll look to see where the bouncers are. They aren’t going to want anything kicking off in their place.
If i can see some potential allies around i’ll be a bit louder and more obvious in my warnings to him to back off in the hope that one of them will notice, so that if something does kick off i can either hope to have people weigh in on my side if i’m in trouble, or at least intervene before i get too badly beaten.
garius I just have to say, for the record, that if you are ever in the States or I across the pond, I would love to meet you and hang out at a bar.
For the OP: My wife is very outgoing and doesn’t take shit from anybody. She tends to actually start fights, though this has become less frequent in the past couple of years (thank God).
If she starts getting into something with somebody, I generally try to go back to my beer and watch. If she gets her ass beat it’ll be her own fault, but I’ll step in and make sure it doesn’t get bad. She’s a big girl and should be able to take care of herself.
Not to say that’s always the case. She is a frail, after all.
Nobody starts on her without my intervention, though.
When we were in High School, this big blockhead - about 6’4" and 300 pounds - who was generally an ass at all times, decided to pick on her with a pal. They shoved each other around so they would smoosh her into a wall. They didn’t take into account that I was walking right behind them. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a big guy. I’m almost exactly the same size as the OP. Still, nobody screws with me or my girl.
I took that big lummox and bounced his head off a locker.
Also, as garius said, being in a friendly environment helps. At our semi-regular bar back in PA, if we are there, you can bet at least half of the folks there are friends of ours, and they’re all punks, so they’ll thrash you without a second thought.
Carry a big stick.
You buying?
Oh - and look at my bird funny and i’ll kick the shit out o’ ya!
Having not been in a fight for gods knows how long I’d probably just waltz in without thinking. My honour demands I step in if my GF is being picked on in any way. But if some guy is just trying to pick her up, of course I would probably just watch for the entertainment value 
I took tae kwon do but in a fast and dirty fight I probably couldn’t use what I know. If it’s truely going to be a brawl, take them down quick and early. I’d be fine planting my knee in their groin because it’s impossible to fight after that. I’d then be on my cell phone damn quick to call the police.
Whatever you do, don’t throw the first punch. Let them attack you. Then you’ll have a better moral ground when all is said and done.
By all means step in. Punches to the face hurt a lot less than punches to the pride.
While I do think you should be able to protect your family, I wouldn’t expect that violence would be required in the situation the OP describes, if I’m reading it right.
As somebody already suggested, ignore the guy as you step in and collect your wife to go elsewhere. Most guys will lose interest when the woman “rejects” them by walking away with you.
As for the potential for violence.... an old biker-type once told me this: "You know what's the best way to keep from getting beaten up in a bar fight? Stay out of bars!"yep, stand your ground, if you’re not brave, fake it.
learning to fight couldn’t hurt, I recommend kickboxing, anything that gives you experience in the game of tag that is fighting.
of course diplomacy is the best first course, simply introducing yourself to the other male is generally enough posturing to drive him away from your territory.
What makes you a man is your willingness to stand up, even if it means you might get your ass whooped.