What's really the problem with this board

Go ahead and joke about the hamsters all you want, but they’re not the problem, at least not since the latest upgrade.

Nope, hamsters are obsolete. Now the Dope is running on guinea pig power!

Unfortunately, the new staff are still learning their job, which leads to random slowdowns of the board and the occasional complete shutdown.

Give them time, fellow Dopers, and I’m sure they’ll keep things rolling right along.


That’s what happens when you hire actors to do menial jobs.

Well, we’ve certainly had a number of pellets dropped on us today at any rate. Perhaps they can be recycled into a methane-based power source? Maybe one that could supplement the guinea pig’s power stream for those times when they take breaks to grunt and be disgruntled?

That looks like a hamster to me…

Guinea pigs don’t seem like the best energy source, at least not in my experience. I used to have a couple, and got them a wheel- good exercise, right? One ignored it completely, the other used it to rest his head on.

Forget guinea pigs! Someone needs to come up with wheels big enough for capybaras the largest rodents in the world. The Dope would have nary a problem with slowdowns with a bunch of them on board!

I soooo want one of these as a pet!

Hi to our own capybara, by the way. :slight_smile:

That’s a hamster.

We have a guinea pig; I don’t think she’d be any good at running a board. Imagine her interjecting her opinion in the Pit: “WHEEEEK! WHEEEEK! WHEEEEK!”

Guinea pigs shouldn’t run on wheels, anyway. It’s bad for their backs.

:dubious: :confused:

A hamster? For sure? Why… Why…

:eek: :mad:

That vendor lied to me! He swore it was a guinea pig!

:mad: :mad:

Dammit, I want my $7.49 back!

:mad: :mad: :mad:

The problem is that it’s all cluttered up with “WTF is wrong with this board?” threads.

There’s a somewhat cryptic stickie at the top of the About This Message Board forum, saying “we’ve called the techies, but we’re waiting,” or something. It seemed intentionally vague to me.

and it’s pining for the fjords…

luffs ya :wink:

Here is the source of the problem from the other night.

It’s definitely a hamster; guinea pigs are far more meaty.

That just made my day. :cool:

Upon further research, I’ve discovered another serious glitch: In a failed attempt to maximize resources, Jerry tried doubling up hamsters on each wheel.

The results aren’t pretty.

Our crack investigator, Snidely Whiptickle, has just returned with this footage shot at the training camp where Jerry prepares new recruits for the wheel. I leave the conclusions for you to draw:

Boot camp for the SDMB Rodent Corps

I keep telling him to upgrade to cats, but he doesn’t listen to me. Probably because I don’t use Linux.

Typically, you’ve got one rodent doing the work and two others going along for the ride. It’s no wonder things are so slow.

That’s . . . that’s cool. I so have to get one of these things, I’ve got a cat that could use the exercise.

damn you to Hull, I pee-ed myself!!


The way things have gone lately, I suspect we are the guinea pigs!

I hear meerkats work great. Until they stand up.