What's so bad about the short urinal?

I know what’s so bad about it: it’s short! I will not have my manhood belittled by being forced to use that diminutive porcelain devil! Along with the rest of the males of Indiana, I will wait my turn on a full-size rather than pony up to a Junior.

But is this the case everywhere, or is it just an unwritten Midwestern rule? That is basically my ultimate question: is this truly a universal doctrine? I want input from other people, and I want to know if there are other regions of this great nation and faraway corners of our world where men stand next to each other or use the midget urinal without compromising their manhood?

Think about it: everyone I’ve seen avoids the short urinal as if it contained swinging blades. This, combined with the fact that two men must NEVER stand next to each other at the urinal wall, makes for some interestring strategic challenges:

Let X represent a regular urinal, x represent a Junior, and 0 represent a man.

0 0 <-----------0

If there’s only one guy using it already, you take the urinal one down from him, as above. If a third man enters, he will have to wait his turn, not stick himself between the two men at 1 and 3.

x X X

A man walks into the above situation; what does he do? He must wait until urinal 3 opens up, lest he be forced either to stand next to a man or debase himself by using the Junior. When hell freezes over!

x X X X X

Everything is hunky-dory about the above restroom because there are FOUR full-sizes; therefore two men can use the wall at the same time and retain their manhood. However, make sure to use 5 or 3; if you’re using 2, someone oblivious to the sacred urinal code might walk in and use the Junior, thereby standing next to you and making you feel quite uncomfortable. In this situation, knee him in the nuts.

I love the short urinal. As a tall guy (6’5"), it virtually eliminates the occurence splashback.

Here is the online version of your game.

I don’t like the short urinals because it causes a splash problem. I am 6’1’’ and that means that the stream must be directed almost straight down. When it hits this way, it sometimes causes a fine mist that covers parts of my pants and shoes.

With the full size urinals, the stream is directed at more of a diagonal and this problem is easily avoided.

That game has one flaw: on the final urinal scenario, which looks like this:

0 0 0

there is no right answer (it’s a trick question.) It says the best thing to do is walk out the door and wait for a turn. This is, indeed, the best solution in theory. But what if you can’t possibly hold it in and you MUST choose?

In that case, the best choice is urinal 1. Why? 3 and 5 would stick you BETWEEN two men, while 1 is only next to ONE man.

There is a “cheat” to every game and the solution to this scenario is to pee in the sink. Don’t worry about splash either because the acidity of the urine makes the fixtures shine like new.

At that height, I’d expect you’d get a lot of splashback from hitting the wall above the thing, or its plumbing.

my problem with that game is the one with the big guy and the two guys next to each other. it says to go by the two guys, but thats not showing courtesy to the other men, as that man would then be sandwiched.

I actually saw a bathroom where the short urinal was in between two normal urinals. This was brilliant, because it solved the problem. Since most people (this was a university) would be using the normal urinals, 2 normal people could use the urinals without a problem.

But when the short urinal is at the end, the 2nd person to arrive has the undesirable choice of either next to the other guy or the small urinal. Neither of which is preferrable. But it’s also silly to wait when there are 2 perfectably usable toilets availabe.

So more people should adopt this design pattern. It’s brilliant folks.

Yikes! You know what this means, don’t you?

Think about it:
We have a very trivial general question.
We have an incidental disagreement about fluid dynamics.

If I’m right, what should happen next is that the thread will now continue for six or seven pages, spiralling angrily and defiantly downwards all the way, toward shouts of ‘the plural of urination is not data’ and 'I suppose your penis can defy the Second Law of Thermodynamics then, can it? Hmm?"

I like the junior because Mr. Thomas doesn’t risk dunking his head in the cold, cold water. :eek:

Well, someone had to recall that joke!

Pardon my female ignorance, but I never knew there were “short” urinals. May I assume they are there for the use of children?

Yup, and vertically challenged adults and brave wheelchair types as well, I think.

Yup, which is precisely why I don’t like using the short urinals. If a kid came into the bathroom and I were using the short one, he’d have to use a taller one. And’ he’d have to aim his weiner up, sort of at an angle, and get the arc just right… it’s just too much pressure to put on a kid. :eek:

… while also, unfortunately, increasing the chances of pissing on one’s shoes at startup…

I too have noticed the general trend of short urinal avoidance.

In the numerous manhood-compromising situations mentioned above and in the ensuant discussions of their resolution, why have I yet to see any mention of the whole other world of toilet options, the stalls?

The stalls! To pee in? No way. First, it is too girly. Second, I feel guilty that I didn’t lift the lid and peed all over the seat but not enough to do anything about it. Third, each stall is like dank, mysterious, dungeon. You never know what disgusting things await you until you enter.

No thanks, I think I will just use the potted plant in the lobby.

What?!? The stall is ths safe haven; it’s the shelter. I’d much rather go in the stall than the urinal. The stall has the benefit of privacy as well as a physical dimension to define your personal space. The urinal code is based on not invading someone’s personal space while going number one. In the stall, you don’t have to worry about someone taking the spot next to you, looking down at you. Viva la stall!

Am I the only one who’s ever used the stall and tried to see how far I could back away from the toilet while keeping my stream on target?


Peeing in a stall when a urinal, even a low one, is available is, in my opinion, quite rude to people who might show up with a desperate need to poop. Likewise using the wheelchair-accessible stall while the other stall is available is rude to people in wheelchairs.

My aim is too good and my pee stream is too powerful. I usually have to back up all the way to the sinks before I am challenged enough. A better game is to set up buckets in the yard that become smaller as the distance increases sort of like skee ball.

OTOH, it’s the kids that still HAVE pressure, as opposed to old guys that just dribble …