I know what’s so bad about it: it’s short! I will not have my manhood belittled by being forced to use that diminutive porcelain devil! Along with the rest of the males of Indiana, I will wait my turn on a full-size rather than pony up to a Junior.
But is this the case everywhere, or is it just an unwritten Midwestern rule? That is basically my ultimate question: is this truly a universal doctrine? I want input from other people, and I want to know if there are other regions of this great nation and faraway corners of our world where men stand next to each other or use the midget urinal without compromising their manhood?
Think about it: everyone I’ve seen avoids the short urinal as if it contained swinging blades. This, combined with the fact that two men must NEVER stand next to each other at the urinal wall, makes for some interestring strategic challenges:
Let X represent a regular urinal, x represent a Junior, and 0 represent a man.
X X X
0 0 <-----------0
If there’s only one guy using it already, you take the urinal one down from him, as above. If a third man enters, he will have to wait his turn, not stick himself between the two men at 1 and 3.
x X X
A man walks into the above situation; what does he do? He must wait until urinal 3 opens up, lest he be forced either to stand next to a man or debase himself by using the Junior. When hell freezes over!
x X X X X
Everything is hunky-dory about the above restroom because there are FOUR full-sizes; therefore two men can use the wall at the same time and retain their manhood. However, make sure to use 5 or 3; if you’re using 2, someone oblivious to the sacred urinal code might walk in and use the Junior, thereby standing next to you and making you feel quite uncomfortable. In this situation, knee him in the nuts.