But that had to do with your knowing Megan in particular well enough to know that not drinking was indeed out of the ordinary for Megan in particular. And, I very much hope, also to do with your knowing that Megan in particular didn’t have other reasons to stop drinking, and wouldn’t mind your speculating about her pregnancy in a loud voice in public.
Yes, I know her well. If there were another reason for her not drinking I was sure I’d know. Also, she was the right age and situation. We were one of those groups of friends where anyone could speculate anything about anybody and not offend.
Yup. Context, context, context.
I was talking to someone at a work party at a bar this past Christmas. I was sippin’ my Diet Coke and it came up that I don’t drink (but not because I’m in recovery or anything). And he very seriously told me how it must be so hard to be so disciplined, and to be able to go out and enjoy myself when everyone else is drinking, and he thought that was so cool I could manage it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I think it all tastes like shit, it makes me feel like shit, and there’s no way I could afford it anyway. I just nodded and said “thank you, I make do.”
Yes, of course a charge of public urination isn’t going to lead to registering as a sex offender. However, it certainly appears that the simple act of urinating in public can lead to charges of lewdness, which usually is a sex offender charge.
6 Unexpected Ways You Could End Up on the Sex Offender Registry | Tijerina Law Firm, PC.
Unfortunately, even when an individual means no harm, the repercussions of minor sex offenses can quickly escalate. Under certain circumstances, something as seemingly harmless as urinating in public or having consensual sex in a car could land you on the sex offender registry.
That site seems to agree that it is 'rare" but that implies it does happen.
There is no specific law in California that makes public urination a crime. However, a person who is caught urinating in a public place could be charged with public nuisance , public intoxication or indecent exposure .
It’s hard to imagine that a sex offender registry — a public database run by states — would include anybody who wasn’t an adult pedophile or a rapist or seriously dangerous in some way. But sex offender registries can ensnare and publicly humiliate people who haven’t victimized anybody at all.
3) Peeing in public . At least 13 states require sex offender registration for public urination, according to Human Rights Watch’s comprehensive review of sex offender laws in 2007. Two of those states specify that the urination must happen in front of a minor.
So it seems it is possible to be charged that way. I have yet to find a conviction.
Yeah, I think in your 20s the second situation is more likely to happen, where drinking hard is more acceptable and expected in certain circles and people haven’t had life experience enough to understand there are myriad reasons not to drink: health, religion, pregnancy, medication, recovery, lifestyle choice, etc. For the first situation, I would just say “I don’t drink” or “just a Diet Coke will be fine.” So far, nobody’s asked me why. Not that it doesn’t happen — I do know somebody’s father who upon knowing his son’s stint in rehab said something like “aw, come on, you can have a beer, right? It’s just the hard stuff that gets you in trouble.” Smh
Only heard about sexual harassment at work. But the guy was clearly a weirdo.
He asked a woman in a different department if she was still breast feeding her kid.
Telling his bosses 10 year old daughter that “she is about ready for a training bra”. I can’t imagine what a 10 year old girl would think of that.
He bought a mail order bride from the Philippines.
When I was back at work from losing my Chocolate Lab and still grieving, he came to my office to offer condolences. Fine, but go away.
But he said that he had a solution, buy another Chocolate Lab and give it the same name. “Problem solved”. That’s what he does. I saw this guy perhaps twice a day. He approached me once and sent out his hand for a shake. UMMM… I just saw you fifteen minutes ago. I’m guy, he wasn’t hitting on me, but… that’s just really strange.
He was all of a sudden gone. The head of a department. Out the door for you. Good for us. The guy had some serious problems. I almost feel a little sorry for him. Something is really, really messed up in his head.
Never found out what the final straw was. But he was just gone.
A friend of mine was a math teacher at a high school when the exact same thing happened to him. He said, “Anything? How about studying?”
I would have said “my house needs a new coat of paint…”
This actually happened to me on the last exam in the last semester before I retired. The (male) student had heard of my upcoming retirement and offered to get me any gift I wanted. I reported it to my dean with another faculty member at our meeting, showed them the email (who bribes someone via email?) and left the campus for the last time. I don’t know if the college did anything about it (the student got a F in the course because of missing assignments).
People believe the trope enough to roleplay it…
People who harass are skilled at licking up and kicking down. They are very aware of their reputation and do this behind closed doors. If someone does not respect a hard no, perhaps repeated, then it might be time to go. It is certainly time to be more cautious.
Drinking alcohol and dancing are two areas where participants somehow feel at liberty to pester others with requests (or even hostile insistence) to join them despite repeated refusals. A single polite invitation or offer is fine, but being physically dragged out onto a dance floor against your will is traumatizing, and the same goes for being badgered into drinking in front of (or even by) a whole group of people. I’ve been subject to both; whenever it happens, it turns the occasion into a memorably bad one.
Re: open carry of firearms, one reason I think it might be so rare is that even if local/state law makes it legal, many businesses post signs prohibiting open-carry on their premises. So unless you know ahead of time that you’re only going to visit a place where you know open-carry will be tolerated, the whole open-carry experience can be a pain in the ass, which probably deters a lot of people from open-carrying at all. IME, I’ve only ever seen open-carry by a non-cop once, in rural Wyoming.
I do not have such a sign at work because it’s never really been an issue. In the past twenty years I’ve had one person walk in with a gun.
A man and woman came in with their son who looked like he was 12, but was probably closer to 16. The kid had a handgun in a holster on his hip! My first thought was it must’ve been a toy, but I’m pretty sure it was real. The family seemed so normal otherwise.
I know, right? It’s the same thing with going on a diet or making other changes. I never realized how many times people light up cigarettes in movies etc. till I quit.
But hey, unless you’re a hermit you have to deal with it. I don’t want my choice to impinge on their enjoyment.
ETA
Drinking alcohol and dancing are two areas where participants somehow feel at liberty to pester others with requests (or even hostile insistence) to join them despite repeated refusals.
I’m a rare bird who is a pretty good dancer but who doesn’t enjoy it much at all. A lot of people think I’ll get out there on the dance floor and I’ll be so happy or something, finally expressing myself. Uh, no.
Exactly.
I used to open carry on a somewhat frequent basis. But then a lot of stores such as Walmart and Kroger put a prohibition on it. It just got to be too much of a PITA, so now I just conceal carry.
Former UPS driver here. I did get flashed a few times, but no real offers.
My route included an older lady (40s, I was ~22) who routinely let her robe fall open while signing the clipboard. This happened at every delivery so I assume it was planned. Due to the age difference I wasn’t interested and was able to trade that stop to an older driver when I found her packages in my truck in the mornings.
The only other titillating occurrence was in the rich part of town. The door was opened by an attractive woman in lingerie (bra/panties/hose) who motioned me inside while talking on the phone. After signing, she directed me to place the boxes on the kitchen counter. She had pulled on her dress while I was moving the boxes and wanted help with the zipper. After zipping her up, she waved thanks and showed me to the door, never interrupting her conversation. My assumption was she viewed me as another servant, and just part of the furniture. I don’t think it was intentionally sexy (although she was beautiful enough I still remember it).
She may also have viewed you as part of the furniture, and just not cared enough to fasten her robe properly.
You’re right about that. I was at a fancy wedding and the mother of the bride was quite insistent that I dance. She wouldn’t take “no thank you, I’m having a great time watching the others dance and sitting happily at my table.” That (and the vodka slides) are all I remember about that miserable evening.
My brother was a UPS driver and he had similar experiences. A lot of his stories are sad. He’s not a bser.
I can imagine.
Haven’t read the whole thread, but one thing that used to really annoy me was people impossible claims of driving time between two cities. “Oh, I can make Chicago to Indy in 90 minutes!” Bullshit, even at 3 am, you’re gonna run into road construction that slows you down and you won’t be immune from all those speed traps in small town Indiana.
I will say that when I went door to door canvassing for political campaigns, the opportunity was definitely there to bring the message of the campaign in a more personal way, for both me and fellow canvassers. Closest I did was give up one summer Friday night as no one was home and ended up just drinking at a nearby pub with one of the few people that was home.