What's the biggest prank you've ever pulled?

[Larry_Mudd]

@Shalmanese

Finally, I’ve never had the guts to do this myself but I’ve always regarded it as the classic prank. In order to do this, you just need a condom, a pencil and a bottle of hand soap. Your at a party and you find someone drunk, passed out on the floor. You pull down thier pants, squirt a pump or two of hand soap into a condom, use the pencil to shove the condom into their ass and then wait for them to wake up. Hilarity, I am told, ensues.

Hilarity, or sexual assault charges. Or hilarious sexual assault charges. A pencil up the bum is still a sexual assault, regardless of the intent.

The faux racism gag reminds me of another uncomfortable (and cruel, really) routine that some of my friend’s work buddies used to pull:

One of them could do a mean performance as someone with fairly severe Down syndrome. They went into McDonald’s with him doing his thing in full – and of course, he’d want to order for everybody, because it brought him great joy. But the two guys with him would act like total dicks, being mean when he couldn’t remember the whole order at once. “No, Billy! Two Quarter-pounders with cheese, a McChicken, two large fries, one small fries, one large vanilla shake, one large chocolate shake, and a medium Coke! Get it right.” And he’d try and try again, and they’d get more and more impatient and abusive, totally making the cashier uncomfortable and sympathetic. Then a huge to-do with presenting the correct money, tons of confusion, gentle support from the cashier, and a totally beaming “Billy” at the end of it. Then, when the food came he’d grab the tray and do a quick 180, sending the food flying everywhere. More abuse, even a light smack on the top of the head, and a clearly distraught “Billy.” Everything is smoothed over, with people cleaning up and trying to sooth the poor guy. Food is replaced (no charge, natch,) and the meal is finally consumed, with more of this general bad behaviour. “Billy” is made to bus the table like a trained monkey.

Finally, three trio heads out. Not quite done yet, though – they have a hell of a time getting out of the parking lot. The two jerks are screaming abuse at Billy as he tries to navigate the parking lot, tons of missteps with the brake and accelerator until they peel out of the lot, with Billy hanging his head out the window screaming “Yaaaaaaay! I’m driving a caaaaaaar!”

Totally asinine, but funny as hell if you’re twenty years old and jerk.

[Princhester]

A really simple one: write a note saying “The security guard watching me write this thinks I’m leaving my name and address. Sorry about the scratch” and leave it under a friend’s car windshield wiper when it’s parked in a mall parking lot.

A fellow junior employee and I did this to a partner who was utterly obsessive about his car. He spent the next few days ranting about “some bastard who’d scratched his car” and not left a note. The funny thing is that when whining to all and sundry about this, he never once mentioned that there was no scratch. I don’t know whether he found some other scratch, or imagined a scratch, or just liked garnering sympathy for something that never happened.

[yBeayf]

Hilarity, or sexual assault charges. Or hilarious sexual assault charges. A pencil up the bum is still a sexual assault, regardless of the intent.

Eh, just stick the condom between the ass cheeks. Just as effective.

[Webner]

A few months ago a guy in my dorm left for the weekend on a skiing trip.

While he was gone we switched the contents of his room with those of the lounge above it, which had an identical floor plan. We even unscrewed and switched the locks, so his key worked for his new room upstairs. He was pretty pissed off; he lived in the new room for about a week then forced us all to switch it back.

Actually, we taped his reaction, and you can watch it here, if youre interested.

[danceswithcats]

Mighty_Girl, your post was a reminder about another thing I’d done (way back-teenager). A new restaurant opened in another town but owing to transposition of two of the first three digits in their phone number, callers would reach the electronics store where I worked. After a week of, “No, you’ve dialed 674-xxxx, not 647-xxxx” we got tired of stupid people, given that we answered the phone, “Wazoo Electronics, how may I help you?” as opposed to “Hootie’s Brasserie”.

I took the first reservation. Dimwit party of 7 at 9 on Friday? Very good. Be sure to mention my name for the surf n’ turf $9.99 special. We improved specials on the fly: lobster thermidor, only $8.99-bucket of clams $2 with a pitcher of any draft beer included.

People who misdial are easy to forgive. Those who misdial and don’t listen when the phone is answered deserve to be pranked.

[Cardinal]

A friend in college had sprained his ankle and was on crutches. He and another friend went to the grocery store.

2 kicked the crutch out from under 1, who then fell to the floor. The staff was agast, and tried to call the manager over, while 2 told 1 how much of a baby he was, and to get up. They did manage to get out of the store without causing too much commotion.

[Elendil_s_Heir]

I wish I could claim credit for this, but it was my Uncle Fred’s prank.

Fred and his wife Dolly had a new puppy who was difficult to house-train. The puppy kept leaving little piles of poop everywhere. One day Dolly went out shopping. Fred made some meringue and used food coloring to turn it brown. He left a little pile of it on the stairs.

When Dolly came home, her arms full of groceries, Fred pretended to “discover” the pile. “Naughty puppy! Naughty!” he shouted. Then he bent down, put his finger in the pile and licked it. “Hmmm. Not bad, though!”

Dolly just about had a coronary.

[gigi]

@Shalmanese

Finally, I’ve never had the guts to do this myself but I’ve always regarded it as the classic prank. In order to do this, you just need a condom, a pencil and a bottle of hand soap. Your at a party and you find someone drunk, passed out on the floor. You pull down thier pants, squirt a pump or two of hand soap into a condom, use the pencil to shove the condom into their ass and then wait for them to wake up. Hilarity, I am told, ensues.

“How do you think that toy car got up there?”

“I don’t know; maybe you got drunk and shoved it up your ass.”

/Jackass

[dnooman]

@Elendil's Heir

I wish I could claim credit for this, but it was my Uncle Fred’s prank.

Fred and his wife Dolly had a new puppy who was difficult to house-train. The puppy kept leaving little piles of poop everywhere. One day Dolly went out shopping. Fred made some meringue and used food coloring to turn it brown. He left a little pile of it on the stairs.

When Dolly came home, her arms full of groceries, Fred pretended to “discover” the pile. “Naughty puppy! Naughty!” he shouted. Then he bent down, put his finger in the pile and licked it. “Hmmm. Not bad, though!”

Dolly just about had a coronary.

This reminds me of a story I heard about George Clooney and a celebrity roommate of his a long time ago. George started taking the roommate’s cat’s turds out of the catbox and flushing them. The roommate was concerned that the cat was constipated. After a week or so, George takes a dump in the litter box. Imagine the roommate’s surprise.

[jali]

This is back to those wonderful days of my marriage to Bachelor #2.

First a little background - we split since he felt it was still okay to date after the wedding. I didn’t agree.

Telephone technology had just given us voice mail and as the account was in my name, I made the recording and was the exclusive holder of the codes of change.

After yet another hang up (4th or 5th that day) I decided to take action.

I changed the recording to:

“If you think you’re in love with Chas, press 1.
If you think Chas is in love with you, press 2.
If you think you may be pregnant by Chas, press 3.
If you need to see him immediately, press 4.”

It took about 3 or 4 hours for Chas to get wind of what I had done. He begged and begged for me to change the recording since it was “embarrassing.”

My response: “Not as embarrassing as having a husband who dates.”

We didn’t last much longer.

[jjimm]

@dnooman

This reminds me of a story I heard about George Clooney and a celebrity roommate of his a long time ago. George started taking the roommate’s cat’s turds out of the catbox and flushing them. The roommate was concerned that the cat was constipated. After a week or so, George takes a dump in the litter box. Imagine the roommate’s surprise.

I heard that it was Woody Harrelson’s cat.

[dnooman]

@jjimm

I heard that it was Woody Harrelson’s cat.

That sounds right.

[BMalion]

@jjimm

I heard that it was Woody Harrelson’s cat.

Or was it H. L. Mencken’s?

[Clothahump]

Back in the dim, dark days of yore when I was a freshman in college, I had two memorable pranks.

The first was when one of my frat-rat roomies went out to a party. We wired his room for sound and when he came staggering back, one of the other guys got on the mike and convinced him that God was talking to him.

The second was being one of the users of The World’s Greatest Slingshot. We made it out of thick tubing, wood, wire and a towel and we could launch water balloons off the roof of the dorm and have them travel up to three blocks. It took a minimum of three people to fire it. The nice thing about it was that there was another dorm that was one story taller than ours on the east side. If we launched over it at the right angle, we could bombard the back yard of one of the frat houses on Nueces Street. We broke up more than one barbecue/toga party.

Ah, good times, good times.

[Find_Friends]

@alphaboi867

Since it’s April Fools Day; what’s the biggest prank you’ve ever pulled on a friend or family member?

When I was 14 I conviced my mother that World War III had started. I was watching a documentary on TV (either TLC or the Discovery Channel) on nuclear war. It was in the form of fake newscasts (ala War of the Worlds). I screamed at her to come into the living room while the TV was broadcasting reports of a nuclear detontation in DC reports of ICBM being launched at the US. I worked a little to well as she started panic-crying and called my grandmother. I was mean, but after she calmed down she thought it was very funny that she fell for it, escpecially since the channel logo was in the screen.

This is a little off-topic*, but what you said reminds me of something.

My mother didn’t need to be set up. By anyone. She did a fine job all by herself.

Once, several years back, she happened to be staying up while I was watching SNL. As all prolly know, some of the sketch material tends to be a little bit off-beat. Okay, it’s a LOT off-beat. In fact, sometimes I see the humor in it a bit but wonder just what was going through the heads of the writers. And if most people across America don’t think of it so much as funny as just… strange. Maybe not as strang as NatLamp was, but pretty darn strange. Anyway, the sketch that came up was about Buckwheat (from the Little Rascals show, the successor to Our Gang) getting his self assassinated. I mean, WTH?

But anyway, I happened to look way over at my mom, a very sensitive woman, while faily early in the sketch, and …

and …

and …

and …

She …

She was …

She was crying!!!

And unfortunately I told her right then and there what was going on. Unfortunately, because I will never know whether* THE POPE COMING TO THE BALCONY TO SAY SOME PRAYERS FOR HIM* would have ended her tears and made her catch on.

Prolly not.

She prolly would have cried buckets instead.

This may have occurred around April 1st. Can’t remember for sure.

But for my mother, even in her pre-slowing-down days (she’s turning 87 in May) EVERY day was April Fool’s Day.

Without even any outside help.

---

True Blue Jack

• Okay, it’s WAY off-topic!

[TellMeI_mNotCrazy]

@Elendil's Heir

I wish I could claim credit for this, but it was my Uncle Fred’s prank.

Fred and his wife Dolly had a new puppy who was difficult to house-train. The puppy kept leaving little piles of poop everywhere. One day Dolly went out shopping. Fred made some meringue and used food coloring to turn it brown. He left a little pile of it on the stairs.

When Dolly came home, her arms full of groceries, Fred pretended to “discover” the pile. “Naughty puppy! Naughty!” he shouted. Then he bent down, put his finger in the pile and licked it. “Hmmm. Not bad, though!”

Dolly just about had a coronary.

My mother did this to me once. She was making some dish that involved some strange and exotic ingredient that looked an awful lot like… dog droppings. She carefully placed it on the runner then screeched for me to come see what “my” dog had done (it was always my dog when he was bad). I come in, horrified to see the mess and just look at her, as if to say “What am I supposed to do about it?” She harumphed at me, bent over and picked it up barehanded - to my squealing horror. When she licked her fingers after, I was just stunned into silence. Until she pretty much fell on the floor laughing.

Crazy woman.

[Sunspace]

A while back there was a link on this board to a website describing what I think is the Best Prank Ever:

Some university guys live in a house, and one of them goes away for a week. The others take the door off his room, remove the frame, cover the opening with wallboard, plaster and sand the seams smooth, add a bit of baseboard aling the floor, and paint everything all nice and tidy. Then as a final touch they hang a picture over the now-vanished door.

Roomie comes home. His room appears to be gone.

[homeskillet]

@Sunspace

A while back there was a link on this board to a website describing what I think is the Best Prank Ever:

Some university guys live in a house, and one of them goes away for a week. The others take the door off his room, remove the frame, cover the opening with wallboard, plaster and sand the seams smooth, add a bit of baseboard aling the floor, and paint everything all nice and tidy. Then as a final touch they hang a picture over the now-vanished door.

Roomie comes home. His room appears to be gone.

What would be even funnier is if they then pretended not to even know him! It’ld be just like out of Twilight Zone!

[vl_mungo]

Project Garth

[yBeayf]

I have a reserved spot in the parking garage at work. There was this new junior executive who kept parking in it. I told him to stop, but he ignored me, so one day when he and I happened to stay late, I followed him out to his car and beat him to death with a TIRE IRON!!! Bwahahaha! I showed him!