Ever since Television Without Pity shut down (and attempts to revive it have fallen short), I’ve lacked a convenient one-stop source for news, highlights, discussion etc. for TV shows we don’t discuss here. And the sad fact remains that my household watches singing reality shows whether or not they annoy the everloving crap out of me…and they do…so I want to have some idea of how they’re doing.
First, The Voice, which, if it isn’t the Blake Shelton show yet, you can be assured it will be soon. Six trophies, three more than anyone else, and it’s going to be seven very soon. The top 8 announcements spoke volumes, as name after name came through for Shelton while Adam Levine got nothing. KOd two steps from the end. This, to me, indicates a very serious problem which could be what finally kills this…it’s drawn the wrong kind of fans. See, one of the keys to success for a reality show is the idea that it’s a contest, that everyone has at least a prayer and everyone who makes the final has a legitimate shot. When voting is involved, this means that there can’t be any overwhelmingly popular contestant, and it helps a lot if there’s also a rebel faction, a dedicated group of voters who like upsets and going against the grain. (That’s what made Vote For The Worst such a welcome influence on the process, at least before it degenerated into just another internet cesspool.) That’s why Dancing With The Stars couldn’t have been a straight-up test of who was the best dancer, because otherwise we’d know the eventual winner by week 3.
The bottom line is, unpredictability makes for a good contest. And that is exactly what The Voice’s fanbase is overwhelmingly, virulently dead-set against and will fight like demons to prevent. They love winners, and because Shelton is the biggest winner, they want him to keep winning…and winning…and winning…and winning. They want the rich to get richer, the strong to get stronger, the big to get bigger, and they don’t want the ride to stop. Ever. And despite the legitimacy of this ridiculous feud with Adam Levine (there’s a pretty good chance it’s not completely legitimate, although we’ll probably never know for sure) the fact remains that they see him as the enemy, therefore they want him to fail.
(There are a number of reasons for the Shelton juggernaut, but I think the really big one is that his thing is country, and country…the style, the attitude, the appearance, the techniques, the mindset, etc…never changes. There’s a reason country and western are called “both major types”. [And why the Dixie Chicks raised such a titanic firestorm for criticizing the President, something a metal or punk fanbase woudln’t have batted an eyelid at, but that’s another issue.] If Shelton was going for, say, a modern rock fanbase, he’d have to really do his homework, and eventually the fans would find him stale and end their support. That’s not going to happen with country.]
American Idol has no such burden; in fact, stylewise it’s not much different that the early days with Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell…only a helluva lot more annoying. Say what you will about how Abdul had no emotion and Cowell was a tryhard or Jackson said “dog” way too much; at least it was just meaningless and pointless as opposed to grating on my last nerve. Lionel Richie does nothing but spew out useless advice, Katy Perry combines the charisma of Roseanne Barr with the self-control of Connor McGregor, and that third guy is the most useless, infantile sack of crap this side of Hell’s Kitchen. I get that they mean nothing and just need to move things along, but explain to me how putting on a bad Ursula the Sea Witch costume or “three words, vote vote vote” moves things along.
So if the judges aren’t the draw…Heaven forbid…the singers must be the stars of the show, right? Well, there have been some really good singers, and for the most part they haven’t been saddled with tired Boomer retreads which, trust me, are not the key to success for anyone in 2019. The problem is that the show is supposed to be finding the next big pop idol, or at least a pretty-okay flash in the pan a la Kris Allen. Well, I tuned in the season premiere, and guess what: they’re STILL flogging Kelly Clarkson. Guys, how do I put this…the woman just turned 37. She now belongs to an era where if you are a young person who admits to being a fan, you will get made fun of. Why has almost no one else panned out, even the ones that were supposed to? What happened to all the fans who clamored for Adam Lambert to be a superstar? Where’s David Cook? I thought he was a sure thing, dammit! Jordin Sparkz still just has that one mediocre DDR song?
So, where is America at with these two shows? Can they produce anything meaningful other than an alternative to dating shows? Are the ratings a cause for concern yet?
