As long as it’s a “problem”, I’ll agree to that.
My experience (not including my rape) have included being pushed against a wall in a bar and felt up on my way to the ladies room, being groped on a dance floor, having a date decide to “park” and not go anywhere until I put out (in that case, I left the car and walked home - fortunately, it wasn’t far - about three or four miles at two in the morning). There are others, but those are the memorable ones.
My husband says I don’t like to go dancing - I love to go dancing - I don’t like the risks associated with going dancing.
Jesus.
How in the world were you able to trust men after all of that??
I feel like I’m so much the opposite of that. Stories like this make me insecure about being a man. (Not that I didn’t feel insecure before reading this – I feel insecure all the time about being a man, for different reasons.)
I honestly don’t know what to tell people like you, Dangerosa. I seriously want to kick the assess of these men who victimize people. And I’m NOT a violent person at all!
I feel guilty and ashamed…
AND I don’t mean to say that as if what you’ve admitted made me feel that way… it’s the vile men out there that make me feel that way.
Because not all men are assholes. But having to live a life where every decision you make is shaded by those experiences - and every time something goes wrong some idiot asks “what were you wearing” or “did you lead him on” is horrible. But you know, its all worth while to be treated like shit if men never get accused of rape that didn’t happen…:rolleyes:
And you don’t need to tell me anything at all. But you do need to get over “is this a big deal” and “does it really happen.” Because frankly, asking that question in the wake of #YesAllWomen is sort of stupid. The internet is full of stories like mine - and worse. You only need to open your eyes.
I didn’t mean to offend you.
I really want to be the type of guy that’s open to hearing the other side of things… perhaps I’m afraid to open my eyes in this case.
I hope you can forgive me. Some of it I’m just not exposed to. And that’s probably my fault for being selective about the content I choose to expose myself to.
Please believe me that I’m really sorry. I don’t intend on being a jackass. I am extremely nieve.
I really should thank you for being so open about your horrible experiences.
And I agree with you. I have, unintentionally, been kind of a jerk.
My first eye-opener was Friedan’s “The Feminine Mystique.” She analyzed commonplace TV ads – “If you love her, you’ll buy her a Washing Machine!”
How about: if you love her, you’ll stand the hell out of the way when she runs for Congress?
The idea that women wash clothes while men compose the government, the military, big business, and the church should have been obviously wrong, to anyone with even one eye to see with. But societies are, by human nature, blind to most of their assumptions.
To me, this is the value of feminism: it makes us aware of those assumptions.