Ooh - a huge beehive hairdo. That would have been cool (and by cool, I mean it would have won this thread.)
Notice has been taken. http://www.superdickery.com/dick/9.html
(Note: that site possibly NSFP. [Not safe for prudes.])
Dogs’ mouths?
In fairness to Spider-Man, the Spider-Mobile was a joke. Doesn’t make it any less goofy or pointless but goofy and pointless was part of the joke.
I was going to say Starman’s dildo… er… cosmic rod (wait, is that any better?), but someone beat me to it…
It took me a little while to think of this guy, but I submit to you Stilt Man. He was incredibly lame and the fact that every comic had to have a little drama meant that at some point he had to get the upper hand on Daredevil and Spiderman. Thus, he made Daredevil look like a puss and Spidey like he was having a bad day.
I was just looking at this site today–man, it’s hilarious! I especially love the “Seduction of the Innocents” gallery. But all of it is funny!
I nominate the Wonder Twins. They were their own stupid props.
“Form of: a chimpanzee!” (The girl always had to be an animal or something.)
“Form of: a bucket of water!” (The boy always had to be some form of water.)
What the fuck good is a chimpanzee with a bucket of water when you’re fighting crime?
That’s right above the ionosphere, I think.
Sure, you laugh now, but without them, how would the Legion ever have defeated The Flaming Banana?
I had no idea the Wonder Twins had ever fought Extraño!
Paste-Pot Pete, Rainbow Raider and Stilt-Man are villains, so they don’t count. Villains are allowed to be dorky. In the Silver Age it was actually mandatory.
Batman has got to be the all-time king of dorky props, simply by virtue of the overarching bat-theme alone. They can’t just be handcuffs, oh noooooo; they have to be Bat-cuffs, with little logos and wing details and everything. And then there’s his trophy collection, which is really just sort of sad when you think about it. At least Superman has miniaturized cities and deadly extraterrestrial weapons and an alien petting zoo in his trophy room; by comparison, Batman’s trophies come off as kind of shabby, the sort of miscellaneous collection of oddities you’d find at a roadside tourist trap on I-95 (complete with fake dinosaur, which admittedly is the one cool thing in there). Look! A giant playing card, commemorating a battle with his clown arch-nemesis! A giant penny, commemorating a battle with Lincoln! Or not; heck, even Batman doesn’t really know what that giant penny is doing in there. It was probably left over from when the Batcave was still Gotham Caverns Year-Round Haunted Cave Tours, Indian Souvenirs and Bible Museum.
Some of the goofiest props were the various manikins that Superman used over the years to create the illusion that he and Clark Kent were in two places at once. He started with simple Superman-shaped balloons that he moved around using ‘super-breath’ and caused to speak using ‘super-ventriloquism’ (come to think of it, Superman had the same theming obsession with his powers as Batman did with the Bat-arsenal). By the early '60s he’d moved on to animatronic duplicates that he could control from a distance with X-ray vision, and ultimately upgraded to fully autonomous Superman robots that shared most of his powers. At that point the rest of the Justice League had to be wondering why he didn’t just duplicate the rest of them so they could retire.
But Batman was prepared, of course. Not to be upstaged, the Dark Knight retaliated with an even goofier (and infinitely creepier) device. So Superman had balloons? Well, Batman would have have a balloon too-- a balloon shaped exactly like him. And then he made Robin wear it. Yes, for those times when it was necessary for the slender Boy Wonder to impersonate Batman, he would wear a form-fitting inflatable ‘body stocking’ sculpted to mirror every curve of Bruce Wayne’s tautly muscled anatomy.
For his part, Robin seemed entirely comfortable with all this. However, rumor has it that Green Arrow’s imitation of Batman in this respect may be the true reason his ward Speedy drifted into substance abuse.
Man, that’s twisted. 
All I have to offer is Jimeoin’s Detachable Toe (warning, almost useless link. Don’t bother to click. Really.). It makes up in dorkiness what it lacks in notoeriety.
[J.D.] “Form of… an ice menorah!” [/J.D.]
Not to detract from a truly [del]demented[/del] inspired pile of [del]ravings[/del] comedic styling, but in case anyone’s actually interested, the giany penny was (originally) from an encounter with The Penny Plunderer.
Wolverine’s costume.
Dude got the electric freaking chair, for stealing pennies?! That’s harsh.
Exceptthe super-mobile had no power of its own; Superman was the engine. Its virtue was that it let shielded him from red-sun radiation and other nasties that would deprive him of his power, and let him use those powers outside its shell.
Well I know nothing of canon, and whatever tech specs exist on the 'Mobile, but in the stupid show, he would be robbed of all his powers, and be a whining little super-dueschbag until he rembered the 'mobile, and it would do everything he ever did before as a Deus-ex-machina before the show ended. After reading the link, it is confirmed, he is just a dick.
So, not so much “-mobile” as “-hardsuit”*?
*Eh, it’s a better spin than “-glider.”