Questions that will never, ever be answered in story.

In which we ask question about books, movies, comics, & such that will almost certainly never get an answer in the story. Or even out of it. Really, it’s not hard. No need to answer them (but I don’t care if y’all ignore that).

I’ll begin with…

How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?


How does Wonder Woman find her invisible jet?

Super glue.

Why do we never see Krypto hump someone’s leg?

What’s in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase?

:: works action on shotgun, waves it around menacingly ::

Anyone who thinks of going all Rule 34 here DIES.

Some things you just can’t unsee.

Tom Bombadil

“Tom Bombadil” is not a question. Questions are sentences. How did Tom Bombadil get someone as winsome as Goldberry to bed him? is a question.

That’s what you meant, right?

epoxy is the answer to all the questions so far.

What, exactly, did Flashman do for President Lincoln? That he did a secret mission is established in canon, but what it was and how it resulted in Flashy serving as both a Union and a Confederate officer during the war is never explained.

[del]Why did bad luck happen to people who used the numbers?
What happened to the DeGroots?
How did Walt get special powers?
How can Desmond not be killed by electromagnetic stuff?
Why Can’t the Smoke Monster go through ashes?[/del]

Why did I watch Lost?

Check your OHOTMU. The iron-vibranium (Not Adamantium!) alloy was poured into a convenient shield-shaped mold, which had the ridges in it for the straps to attach to. Then the rivets were placed in the ridges to secure it.

Beeper on her keyring. Okay, ‘Mental Radio’. Fine.

Purple bladed lightsaber with BMF on the side.

Bailey damn it, you are not supposed to be answering the questions! You are supposed to be POSING questions!

Do not force me to report you to Johnny Fever.

Oh, right, I forgot the punctuation.

Tom Bombadil.

Why did Delight turn into Delirium?

How did the original Despair die?

What was on the CD in When Strangers Appear?

Who killed Asmodean?
Is the Undying Prince dead?
Who watches the Watchmen?

Who wrote the Book of Love?

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?