For me, it was braking my friend’s sister’s bong. Now, this may not sound that stupid, but it is. The thing was, that bong was a graduation present from one of her best friends. It is priceless to her.
And i am pretty smart, or at least cautious, but i’m only 15. I guess hearing your stories will make me feel better about myself. 
I guess it would have to be getting into beer, then weed, then acid, then mushrooms, then coke, then ecstacy, then heroin, then speed, then GHB, then Serzones.
Now I’m fucked up in the head, and the doctor gave me more drugs. So for that, I’ve taken Lithium, then Ativan, then Depakote, and now I’m back to Serzones.
One time I ran, on foot, 13 lbs of Canadian weed across the border. That’s a federal offense…8-10 years too many.
Then I grew dope in Maui, 500-600 plants. I probably would have gotten 8-10 years for that.
I went spear fishing in a National Ocean Preserve and caught about 40 fish. That’s about 2-3 years.
I had a friend that worked at a furniture store and we stole a matching leather sofa and loveseat worth about $5000. Grand theft, 2-3 years.
I broke up with a girl who is now a model in New York doing Benneton ads and other things.
And, I’ve had unprotected sex about a billion times…sure I’ve gotten crabs and non-specific urethuritis(the drip) but somehow managed to avoid herpes or AIDS.
Those are all the really stupid things I’ve done.
Congratulations to the OP for posting in the right forum.
On only the third try, even.
but, in the “I should have known better” category…
As adults, a friend and I are shooting off bottle rockets by laying them down on a road and lighting them, letting them fly/bounce down the road. At night. It was really a very cool thing to see!
This road (an alley, really)ran behind his apartment complex. On the other side of the alley was an auto repair shop. They had a big dumpster in the back.
Welllllll…
One of the bottle rockets bounced up off the road, through the fence, and directly into an open door of the dumpster. Absolutely AMAZING since the sliding door on the dumpster was probably only open 3-4 inches anyway.
We didn’t think much of it for a few minutes…
Until we saw the glow from inside the dumpster…
And realized it was on fire…
And ALSO realized that’s where the mechanics tossed used oil filters, cardboard, etc…
We decided that perhaps it was time to leave.
Then we heard the explosions…
of discarded aerosol cans, rocketing around inside the dumpster.
Luckily, it was far away enough from other structures that it posed almost no threat.
And, the fire department arrived in short order to put it out.
But, not before we were treated to a COOL show!
Being that I’m currently embroiled in the aftermath of my own stupidity, this thread appeared at quite a fortuitous moment.
Back in 1993, I was poised on the brink of graduating from Penn State with a degree in Earth Science. Alas, in the ultimate boneheaded manuever possible, I failed my second-level physics class. My advisor calls me 2 days before graduation with the bad news…no diploma for Jadis. I tearfully call up my physics professor to beg him to give me a break, but he’s Mr. Heart-Of-Stone…he won’t cut me a break so I can graduate right then, but he does allow me the opportunity to do some make-up work over the summer. This will help me avoid having to pay tuition to take the class again, and if I complete it, he’ll change my grade and I can get my diploma after the end of summer session.
Here’s the uber-stupid part. He sends the make-up work…and I DON’T DO IT! <sigh> I’m a moron. Now it’s 8 years later, and I’m trying to take that class in order to finally get my degree so that I can enroll in a local college and start getting my MBA. Penn State has a main campus and something like 20 branch campuses where you can go for the first 2 years if you can’t cut the mustard to get to the main campus for the full term. There are 3 branch campuses close enough for me to attend where I might be able to pick up this class. So I start calling around…and alas, the class I need is too upper level, it’s only offered at the main campus (2.5 hours away). It turns out that I can pick up a comparable class at another local college and transfer the credit to Penn State to get my degree…but when I call my major’s department head at Penn State to find out if they’ll accept this course from the other college, they run an audit on my transcript and now they’re claiming that I’m short four classes, not one.
Now I’m stuck in the situation of trying to prove, 8 years later, that I took those other 3 classes. My advisor is still on the faculty there, but he was ancient at the time I was there, so now he’s ancient + 8 years. I have no idea if he’ll remember that he approved my transcript for graduation (which he did…I was square until I failed this course), and if he doesn’t, I have no idea what I’m going to do. <sigh>
I’m a jackass.
You want Drunken dumb, Completely dumb, Courageous but misguided dumb, Best intentions but dumb, Great idea that could have worked out but ended up dumb, Someone else’s mistake that’s dumb, Multimillion Dollar dumb . . .
C’mon, a little guidance here. . .
Tripler
'Cause I got 'em all
You know, you invite over the Bert and Ernie look alikes with your shoelaces untied just ONCE, and your whole life goes down the tubes…
Yeesh, shouldn’t mods make people feel welcomed?
Start this thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=74262
But seriously, ladies and germs . . .it’s fun to look back at your dumb mistakes, and then realize that what’s done is done, and move on with your life:
-I got hired to work at a JC Penney once. Not a glamor job, but I decided I was too good to be a retail geek, and went to work as a salesman at a car dealership instead. That sucked, and I went from that to working as a lot man at a used car lot to eventually going on a downward spiral as a framer hammering nails in 5 degree weather, going, “boy I bet it’s warm inside JC Penney right now!” (plus the girls that worked there were cuter than the scruffy looking dudes I was working with!) To this day I don’t know what I was thinking!!
However . . because I was a carpenter I was able to get a job at Home Depot . . .which lead to a manager job at another store . . and my career started going up again.
Who knows? Maybe I’d still be getting $6 an hour pimping furniture st Penneys!!!
-When I was about 17 or so I had a trip planned to the Jersy Shore with these two chicks. The plan was to meet them at 11:00 at night when one of them got off work, then drive down. We also wanted to leave early to avoid the traffic. Convinced that my parents would never, ever go for leaving that late at night, and were these horrible interlopers that would ruin all my plans, I lied to them, left at 4:00 pm, and hung out at the mall for about three hours.
Then, I called my parents from a payphone informing them I was at the Shore, safe and sound, it was an easy ride. My father said he was very happy I was safe and sound, and that he was jealous that I would get to go the shore, how was the weather down there? Oh fine, I said, a little warm, some mosquitos, haha!
Then at the end of the conversation informed me that one of the girls just called to confirm I was meeting them at 11:00!!!
After confessing to him I was at the mall, I was also informed that I would be taking the car BACK home, I would NOT be going to the shore and I was grounded for something like 2 months.
And to make it worse, when I got home my father told me he thought leaving at 11:00 was a great idea.
Ouch! I actually still feel pretty guilty about that one, even though it was over 15 years ago!
Sorry Dad!
I bet a T-shirt and cap against the Colorado Avalanche to lose the Stanley Cup finals.
I’m sorry, that was Tripler, not me. 
This happened about a week ago. I was at a Wendy’s and I must have heard the total wrong, because I gave her the wrong amount of money. I started to pull up and she told me this. I put my car into reverse and gave her the correct change. Stupid me didn’t realize I still had my car in reverse. I tapped on the gas and I went BACK. The woman at the window started screaming, “Look out! OH my God!” I stopped about a half inch away from the car in back of me. The girl’s face in the car in back of me was priceless (of course I didn’t think so at the time). She looked like she was going to kill me, and I did not blame her. I said sorry about a million times, and the woman at the window said sorry too (for what?), “I’m sorry I screamed so loud. I was just so worried!” I told her not to worry about it. I got my food and left as quickly as I could. I never felt more embarassed in my whole life, and I don’t get embarassed easily. I was angry at myself, thinking, “Here I am always bitching about bad drivers. Look at me!”
Stupidest thing, no contest: unprotected sex several times with guys I really didn’t know.
Puts me in mind of the adage, “God protects fools and drunkards.”
For me it’s the Parting Shot every time I quit a job.
Always regret it the next time I’m looking for work and need a reference.
HAY!
You should’ve seen what else I was wagering. Unfortunately, it was a little too rich for everyone else’s blood.
Tripler
Damned Avalanche . . . :mad: