If being patronizingmeans assuming a fatherly air of paternal know-it-all-edness, is there an equivalent word for when a woman does it?
Doesn’t the word have loaded gender-related connotations? Basically, I’m wondering if there’s an other-sex equivalency, the way that “misandry” is the gender-flipping equivalent of “misogyny.”
(Don’t need answer fast. 
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Technically, I’d imagine it’s “matronizing.” Colloquially, I’d say it’s “mothering”.
A woman can be patronizing, too. The definition from your link:
“displaying or indicative of an offensively condescending manner:”
So, no, I don’t think the word necessarily has a gender-related connotation to it.
It has lost any gener link, if it ever had one.
*“Zoology, eh? That’s a big word, isn’t it."
“No, actually it isn’t,” said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men*
Tell that to all the people who insist on using the term “man-purse” when they see my purse.
Agree. Just because the etymology is from father if you go back far enough, the word may never have suggested fatherhood in any literal sense. A patron is like a customer or sponsor; not sure how it evolved to mean condescending.
No feminization is needed.
I don’t see “patronizing” as a masculine term. I’d have no problem telling a smug woman, “Don’t patronize me.”
But anyone who wants a gender-neutral synonym can just say “condescending.”
Interesting. So is the general SDMB consensus that it is linguistically correct for me to say that, for example, my sister had a patronizing tone on the phone last night?
Full disclosure: I do not have a sister.
The Internet says Patronize is an extension of Patron. Patron comes from the Latin “Patronus” (protector/advocate) which in turn comes from, basically, “father”. I suppose we can extrapolate and make some guesses about ancient social roles and note the role of protector is a masculine one, as opposed to the subtly different maternal role of nurturing. I’d read the difference as being the masculine protection is forceful prevention of outside harm, whereas the feminine is the encouragement of inborn potential. Whatevs, right? Seems like there is a difference between patronize and condescend.
My suggestion for the OP is Martinizing because, you know, wimmins clean stuff. Or Reubenizing because…sammiches.
It actually makes sense that way. If someone is your advocate, customer, sponsor, etc. it generally means you are in a subservient role, if only to the extent that you need something like money from them.
Think of Victorian England, when having a trade was a bad thing. Real gentlemen lived off their land and their investments. While the word itself is much older, I think a lot of the modern connotations come from that mode of thinking. Lord So-and-so might patronize your shop, but you have no way to patronize him because he has nothing to sell to the likes of you!
Patronizing used to be a ‘good’ word. It still often does. It meant someone who benefited a business by using them. e.g. Lord Mowbray patronized the Sail and Anchor Tavern. It’s closely related condescending.
Condescending was used as a term of admiration. e.g. In Pride and Prejudice (1813), Mr. Collins describes Lady Catherine de Bourgh this way:
So one could easily say, and still can. George condescended to patronize the new Indian restaurant and it would not have any real negative meaning.
Anyway asides from that I doubt patronize is a masculine term. A woman can just as easily patronize a particular shop as a man. In the more disagreeable variant “Don’t patronize me!” which means roughly don’t be kind to me! there is no gender reference
I’d read that as George thinking he was slumming it. So negative.
I forgot to mention Patron Saints, Patron, and Patroness all of whom do some patronizing
Patroness especially is a woman who supports, protects, or champions someone or something, such as an institution, event, or cause; a sponsor or benefactor.
Patrons are equivalent in some senses to Patroness in the support, protect, and championing business. However, say in a restaurant, you wouldn’t call a female customer a Patroness but you would call her a Patron, so Patron does have non gender usage.
I’ve never taken it to mean anything related to kindness. To me, “Don’t patronize me!” means something more closely related to, “Don’t tell me what to do; you don’t know better than me!”
But Mr. Collins was a sycophantic, toadying suck-up.
And proud of being so good at it, IIRC.
ETA: Pronunciation guide, please.
When pronouncing the first syllable, I always consider it to be context-dependent. For instance, when I’m talking about giving a store my custom, I pronounce the syllable to rhyme with hate.
OTOH, when I’m complaining about somebody treating me like a little kid who is not entitled to autonomy, I pronounce it to rhyme with cat.
This IS the consensus usage, correct?
It’s the same way I do it, so if you’re wrong then you’re not alone.
What you are stepping into here is the quagmire of the British class system.
Patronize in that sense evolved from resentment by lower class people for slightly higher class people doing a bit of Patronizing to them. Patronizing was mostly done by middle class to working class. They would use phrases like “My good man” in an attempt to seem posh. This only became a problem when unionization started and the working class decided it didn’t need no steenkin patronizing.
It’s really quite fun here in Australia with any tradesman New-Chum from Blighty. Call him “My good man” and you can see the red mist rising and sparks will fly! (Pom baiting is one of Australia’s national pastimes)
I say it the same both ways, with “PAY” as the first syllable.
Ditto.
It’s a satchel. Indiana Jones carries one.