Not the funniest but pretty far up there. I watched a sparrow chasing a moth for about 5 minutes once.
My friends and I went to see “Spike & Mike’s Twisted Animation Festival” at a theatre. I don’t know which version, and I haven’t been able to find it on Google.
This one cartoon had a moose babysitting a bunch of kids and telling them a bedside story. The moose was supposedly voiced by Jake LaMotta, the boxer portrayed by Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull. The moose was wearing boxing gloves and trunks. He had a heavy Bronx accent and was telling the kids a tale about “The Fuckin’ Moose.” Picture if you will somebody who’s had his head beaten on for years and his brains are shifting around like pebbles in a jar. The animation plays out everything he says, even if it doesn’t make any sense. The moose forgets where he is in the story, and the kids keep trying to correct him. He gets mad and curses them out, then goes on with the story.
The part that made us bust a gut laughing was where LaMotta got to this point in his story: “Den dese magic weasels came out of the fuckin’ moose’s pants and dey beat him on the head with dese ballpeen hammers.” The animation shows this happening, with blood squirting out the moose’s ears as the weasels happily pound away on his noggin. A girl interrupts, saying “Wait a minute! How could the moose not know these weasels was in his pants with ballpeen hammers?” LaMotta gets mad and yells, “What are you, a retard? I said dese were MAGIC weasels!”
That’s an inside joke among us to this day.
When TheKid was little, we often spent hours playing charades. One day, when she was maybe 4 or 5, she got me. She laid on the floor, arms and legs straight up in the air, didn’t move. Turtle on it’s back? Upsidedown table? I had no idea.
My little pixie of a girl, all blonde curly locks and elfin face dressed in pink, stood up, rolled her eyes at me and said:
“Duh, Mom, I was a dead bug”
I lost it.
Another Kid related one: She and my sister have the same exact unique laugh, complete with assorted snorts and “whoohoos”. It’s really uncanny how they are alike. My sister bought me a birthday card one year, the “joke” was when you opened the card the cute cat on the front now was making a hurk face / eyes were crossed. I opened it, looked at it blankly (I don’t find cat hurk all that funny). I guess the look on my face combined with the cat face on the card set them both off. In stereo. Snorts and all. They would slowly stop laughing - where the whoohoo comes in - setting each other off again. We ALL started laughing to the point of stomach aches, tears everywhere, and my sister running to the bathroom.
Stuck on a stopped chair lift at a ski resort. Below us, there was a slope edged with trees with a small break in the tree line; adjacent, the next slope was about six feet lower. The break in the trees made a nice little jump, except you couldn’t see what was below you until you were airborne. It was a school holiday and the slopes were packed.
Some kid jumped and fell, losing his skis. As he was picking himself up and putting the skis back on, another kid came flying over and plowed into him. As the two of them were sorting themselves out, here comes a third. Pretty soon there was a pile of kids, skis, gloves, poles and one frantic skier jumping up and down yelling “Don’t jump! Don’t jump!” at the next incomer - who of course was already in flight.
Almost fell off the chair lift, we were laughing so hard.
A video of a friend’s English Setter dog was lying on the bed on her back, tail wagging and just kind of ‘flirting’, stretching, waving her paws around, being all-out cute. She rolled over slowly… and rolled right off the bed in slow motion.
What made it all the funnier is that she didn’t get back up. She just stayed there. I roll every time I watch that video!
When I was about 12 or so I slept over a friend’s house. We were in their spare room where there were two single beds. I was sitting on one bed holding her pet hamster and she was on the other. For some reason she had eaten chips and orange pop first thing in the morning before I woke up and was still drinking the pop. Anyway, I belched really loud and twirled my finger in the air along with the sound. Well that made her laugh so hard she spit her pop out then was bent over double at the side of the bed laughing. She laughed so hard she started throwing up. I put my hand over her hamster’s eyes and said “Button doesn’t need to see this.” Of course that made her laugh and throw up even harder.
That was 30 years ago and to this very day I start laughing when I remember it. I’m laughing as I’m typing right now.
Have you seen this timeless classic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHexAt8SGUk
I keep envisioning this and giggling.
SQUEEEE! Thank you! My Google Fu failed me!
The three of us were were juniors or seniors in high school and the one guy , Ken, had access to a car. We would ride around on weekend nights for a couple of hours smoking evil weed in a corncob pipe, go to the McDonald’s or pizza joint, eat and go home. One night Paul thought it would be a good idea to load up the second-round bowl with match heads topped by a little vegetation. Without telling Ken, of course. I agreed. We gave it to Ken to light (we were parked at the time - no sense in doing anything foolish). He fired it up and…nothing. He gave to Paul who took a quick puff and handed to me in the back seat. I did the same and passed it back to Ken. The sequence repeated - big draw, no fire and back to Paul and very quickly back to me. I just sort of held to my lips and then nearly threw it at Ken. Paul and I were looking at each other like, WTF? Ken takes another hit and IGNITION! A ball of fire erupted from the pipe. In a pitch black car it was pretty damn impressive. Ken threw the pipe down and was screaming something like “WHAAAAAAA!?” Burning match heads went everywhere and Paul and I were howling with laughter. Tears were rolling down our faces and it took a few minutes for us to get our breath back. Ken was not amused. Not at first, anyway. A quick inspection of the car showed absolutely no damage so everything was cool. Things quickly returned to “normal” and we resumed our regular routine. I think it was pizza that night. That was almost forty years ago and I remember it was like yesterday. Frickin’ hilarious.
The Hangover.
Damn that was a funny movie.
Honorable mention to It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
I’ve posted this before, but just in case you weren’t paying attention…
I was walking through the lobby of my workplace one morning with co-worker Jim. A small group of little old ladies were at a card table, selling little heart pins for a fundraiser. Jim bought one and pinned it on his sleeve.
Lunchtime, same day. Jim and I again walk through the lobby. Little old ladies are still there. One enthusiastically shouts out across the lobby, “Hi Jim, I see you still have your heart on!”
Probably 15-20 people heard it.
mmm
Ya know, if you can’t even remember for sure if you ate pizza yesterday, you and your pals might have overdone it on the evil weed just a le-e-e-e-tle bit…