Mine: I watched as the driver of a car stuffed full of teen girls punched the accelerator in the McDonald’s drive thru line. The driver had forgotten to take the car out of reverse and they shot backwards through some big-ass hedges and across four lanes of a busy road.
Luckily, the light was red and approaching cars hadn’t reached that section of the road yet and the girls’ car fetched up on the traffic island. The looks on their faces were priceless and I laughed so hard I almost threw up.
When we lived in the Bay Area, there was a woman who used to walk her pigs on the UC Berkeley campus. Not little potbellies, either. Swine.
A guy showed me his wang in the parking lot of a club. He was obviously proud of it (with good reason), but I laughed anyway to teach him a lesson.
Several months ago I saw a bloke get onto the bus in the morning with his pet pig on a leash. That was a bit weird.
Downtown one day, we saw a guy get out of a snazzy car. He was snappily dressed, and obviously very impressed with himself. He turned around, just oozing attitude and… walked into a signpost. 
:smack:
I was walking into work last week following some guy by about 30 feet. Suddenly he started waving his arms, took a few steps backwards and fell on his ass. He jumped up and brushed himself off. As I walked by he mumbled two words. Spider web. I chuckled the rest of my way into work.
There’s a street performer in the Shimo-Kitazawa neighborhood of Tokyo who is an absolute riot to watch. He’s a really skinny 20-ish guy with an enormously bushy beard and long hair, who sets up a little space with about a hundred or so comic books around him. He picks one at random (or by audience request) and begins acting it out, and holy crap, does he ever throw himself into it! He does unbelievable samurai duels and gangster showdowns, and his love scenes are a scream. Really a fun guy to see.
I was breast-feeding my baby son in a corner of the aeroplane hall in the Imperial War Museum in London, and a man walking across the hall towards me just couldn’t take his eyes off what I was doing. In fact, his eyes were so full that he walked into a tank and smacked his head on the gun. DONGGGG!
He kind of staggered off around the corner of the tank, using it to support himself.
Ooh this is an easy one for me!!
Last summer we went to the Detroit Metroparks Zoo. Just outside of the insect house there is a little water feature/fountain kind of deal. We were standing there looking at the map, wondering where to go next.
There was a little boy with a day care group. He was bouncing around and went to jump up on the ledge with both feet. He came up short, catching his toes on the ledge, and fell face first into the water and kicked himself in the back of the head. He made an undescribable noise.
The funniest thing was no one else in his group saw it. His teacher looked down and started freaking out as the kid was standing there dripping.
My husband was laughing so hard, but not making any noise and his face was beet red. We had to walk away very quickly.
I saw a guy at a gas pump squeegie the inside of his front windshield, complete with excess water pouring down.
I saw a guy uproot one of those big sticks with a candle on the end of it used in parties, swing his leg over it like he was riding a broomstick, and proceed to pretend to masterbate with it.
When I worked a summer job doing carpentry, we had this one guy who was just the most accident-prone individual I have ever met. “Accident-prone” and carpentry mix like fire and the Hindenburg. It didn’t help that he was kind of an idiot about most things; not fundamentally stupid, but liable in nearly all aspects of life to what you might call “bad decisions”. Listening to him bitch about his “misfortunes” on a daily basis got real old, real fast.
One day he discovers if he pulls back the spring-tension safety mechanism on the pneumatic nail gun, he can shoot a stream of 10 penny nails Uzi-style. The other carpenters looked on with a mixture of contempt and dread. I immediately scoped out a thick wall to hide behind.
So the guy was mostly working, but occasionally letting loose with a salvo of nails, and snickering with glee whenever he hit a loose piece of plank or whatever. The rest of us rolled our eyes and kept behind him as much as possible.
As his enthusiams increased, he got the bright idea to play “quick-draw”. He would whip himself around occasionally, brandishing the nail gun as if warding off a surprise attack, and causing one carpenter to finally shout out “Will you put that gawddahmn thing down, you stupid fuckin’ ahsshole!*” Of course he just stifled a giggle and ignored the order. I guess after deciding he’d perfected his desperado flourish, he felt ready to pull the trigger. He whistled the “Good, Bad, Ugly” theme, spun around once more, and straffed the air with nails.
Apparently he got disoriented from all the spinning, because what he aimed for was about 45 degrees off from his intended target. What he aimed for was his baby, a seemingly mint, cherry-red 1975 Ford F350 pickup he’d rebuilt himself. I’m surprised he actually allowed himself the risk of driving it on the road, he loved it so much. When it dawned on him he’d peppered his Most Prized Posession with a hail of high-velocity metal spikes, he dropped the gun like a hot brick, put his hands on his head, and screamed “OHHH FUCKIN’ SHIIIIIT!”
As he dashed off to his truck, wailing like a man on fire, and the rest of us pretty much wet ourselves with mirth. It was the only time in my life I lost my balance and fell over from laughing so hard.
Gawd, the guy was a tool, but that moment made it almost worth it to have him around.
*thick Maine accent.
The guy was a *tool" indeed! LOL!
Walking along the road past a university once I looked down and jumped … there was a metre long Tiger Snake lying across the path. On closer inspection it was obviously dead, and since this was the inner-city, also pretty obviously put there by students to make passers-by jump.
Coming back in the same direction I was walking a few feet behind some guy very properly dressed in a suit, suddenly he made a wild leap straight up in the air and landed several feet away from where he started. He’s seen the snake too.
I once saw a guy downtown dressed in army fatigues, standing in front of the war memorial. He was holding two toilet paper rolls to his eyes and looking through them like binoculars. I still haven’t figured out if he was a nut or if it was some kind of performance art.
I heard a news clip on the radio on Friday that there was some guy sitting in the road in the middle of an intersection, dressed like a medieval king. I would have liked to have seen that one.
a guy walking his dog - well, walking isn’t the right word - he was on a unicycle and the dog was sort of pulling him along at a trot - i’ve seen him twice.
ROFLMAO!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
funny or odd.
I was walking back to work after lunch, and I notice this guy riding his bike down a 1 way street, luckily for him he timed it so no cars were coming. He was riding no handed and was brushing his teeth.
Ooops, I guess I should say he was riding the wrong way down a one-way street.
That selfsame guy used to pray to the statue in the memorial, like it was a Goddess.
Leave him be! He wailed on 2 cops once, when they tried to bust him for hassling people.