What's the laziest way to get leaves off a lawn?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

At lunch today we were discussing different ways to clear leaves off a lawn.

Assume for this discussion that:

  1. You can’t cut the trees down.
  2. You have to remove the leaves on the yard/lawn.

Here were some suggestions:
[ul]
[li]Print a unique number on every leaf, then hold a raffle. Winner gets $100, tickets are free–players just need to pick up the tickets themselves.[/li][li]Hang nets under the trees that catch the leaves. The nets funnel the leaves into a compost area. My co-worker who came up with this wants to patent the idea as “tree diapers”.[/li][li]Build a geodesic dome over the lawn. Leaves fall on the neighbors’ lawn.[/li][li]Advertise “Pick your own compost! Free!” on Craigslist. “We’ll supply the rakes! Just bring your own bags.”[/li][/ul]

Any other good suggestions?

2

Do nothing. The leaves will rot.

3
  1. Wait until all the leaves fall all across the yard.
  2. Apply Zippo lighter to yard.
  3. Grab marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers ‘n’ enjoy the fun!

Tripler
Yay! Smores! ::cough cough::

4

Get a rake and rake all the leaves into big piles. Then pick up the leaves and put them into a trash bag. Take the bag to the corner for garbage pickup.

5

That was disappointing. No explosives.

6

Pay the kid next door 5 bucks, sit back, and have a beer.

7

Lawn mower, you have to do it anyway

8

Yeah but with a brick ‘o’ C-4, yer just gonna blow the leaves to the outer perimeter of your lawn, and even then, probably just shred the stuff in the middle to leafy-bits.

In this case, I recommend deflagration, not detonation.

Tripler
Only a recommendation. YMMV.

9

I live in Antioch, CA and the wind is very brisk. I only have to vacuum once a fall. I suppose putting down fish netting on the lawn to be rolled up later would preserve the lawn and my labor.

10

Set fire to the lawn.

11

Move to Australia, or some other southern hemisphere country. It’s springtime there, enjoy the blooms!

12

[quote=“Deeg, post:1, topic:554964”]

[ul]
[li]Print a unique number on every leaf, then hold a raffle. Winner gets $100, tickets are free–players just need to pick up the tickets themselves.[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

This is great, though while you’re busy printing numbers on the leaves you could just put them in the rubbish instead of back on the lawn. Alternately avoid the printing altogether and just pay someone $100 to rake them up.

13

Laziness… u r doin it rong.
Hijack: have we been able to do bullet-point lists all this time? Well fuck me. Testing… to-do-list for today

[ul]
[li]Put some pants on[/li][li]Go to the shop, buy some prunes and Panadol*[/li][li]Hi, Opal[/li][/ul]

Groovy

14

That’s what I do. I set the mower to “mulch” and mow away. Given that mulched leaves tend to be acidic, I have the “truegreen” folks put down an application of lime each year to counteract that effect.

15

I just wait for them to blow away.

16

Building a geodesic dome is lazy? Jesus, I must be a freaking slug by your standards.

17

I second what Surly Chick said–wait for the wind to blow. In Albuquerque, the wind blows about 360 days a year, and if it can remove your lawn furniture and your garbage can, it will also take the leaves.

18

Buy a couple of goats. They’ll eat everything in sight. Then you eat the goats. That way you’re not lazy, you’re just recycling the useless bio-mass into tasty tasty protein.

19

Electric lawn mower with bagger. Works like a vacuum on leaves!

I miss my old one. It was awesome, just empty the bag into yard waste bags. A snap.

Now I have a stupid gas mower, harrumph.

20

We use a mulching mower. If you have a lot of leaves you have to keep at the mowing for a few weeks, but you wind up with lots of finely shredded leaf fragments which look OK and are great for the soil as they decompose. The only downside is that there are no leaf piles for you and the dog to leap into.

I always save a few bags of leaves to make mulch with.