I can count on my guts to request a laying of loaf at least once a day, sometimes twice. I’m boggling at some of the other responses here.
The one time it was longer than that was when I was in the hospital following major surgery. I went five days and I was in agony. Took two enemas and an hour of focused excremeditation to get the brown turtle to poke his head from his shell. When the load finally dropped, though, it rivaled the best sex in the world.
So that’s why some people like anal sex. It’s like a big fat dump on call.
Damn! I must be incredibly unhealthy. I poop about once every 2 or 3 days. And I’ve gone for 2 weeks without pooping, while in the hospital.
Eight days. I really didn’t want to take a dump in the woods at survival school for some reason, so the morning before we went out I self-administered two Fleet enemas and got it out of my system beforehand. That combined with low-fiber MREs, plants, ants and a rabbit kept me poo-free until I returned from the field.
Just about anyone in/from the military can relate to this thread. In basic training, I didn’t even think about going to the “latrine” until I’d been there a week. Sure, I’d used the showers, but I think it’s a combination of stress and a low-fiber diet (are they promoting the salad bar at basic these days – or even have one?)
When I finally ]i]did* go it dawned on me that I hadn’t dumped since before I got there – a week plus a day or so. I remarked on this to one of my companions and almost everyone admitted to not having shit until that day, or possibly the day before. One guy said “Um… Excuse me” and immediately left for the latrine to take care of business.
If you’ve ever been on field maneuvers, I suspect that a diet of MREs helps keep the urge to defecate under control. In the first place, they’re (still) not all that appetizing (think of them as nutritional appliances) and secondly, I think they’re intentionally formulated to have minimal fiber. Taking a dump in combat adds hazard to hazard.*
–SSgtBaloo
*I am reminded of an old Bill Mauldin cartoon with “Willie & Joe”. One of 'em is crawling out of their foxhole with a roll of TP in hand while bullets are flying and bombs are bursting. He remarks over his shoulder to his buddy “Sometimes I wish I weren’t housebroke.”
I have been on Atkins for 10 yrs now (and not the wimpy Atkins w/ all the low carb foods out today) And never had this problem (ymmv), And eat VERY little fiber, I usually let loose a dirt snake 1 to 2 times a day, and the most I remember holding the snake would be 2 days.
it just isn’t in my reality to go 4-7 days regularly w/o, and just proves that there is not only life on other planets, but some of them have made it to earth.
@ YouNeverGuessed, Your friend must be a horrible Doc, 3 or more a day or you may have a problem, nothing would ever get done we’d be pooping all the time. From what I read the average is between 1-2 times a day to once every 3 days. It just depends on the person and what they eat. I’m a 1-2 times a day and sometime only once every other day, I can’t even begin to think how bothersome it would be to have to go 4-7 times a day, not to mention the anus burn you’d get from wiping that much! Also their are some people who really worry when they get constipated, so telling them there might be something wrong with them if their not pooping 3 or more times a day is just mean, but I guess I’d be mean if I was dropping into the turd slide that often too. jk:eek:
I was waiting to poop until someone bumped this thread. Thanks Naxx78!
zombie thread or not, I’m happy to have encountered the phrase “honk out a dirt snake.”
This is one of my recurring nightmares.
In a thread or in a toilet?
8 days camping. Even though they had a real bathroom I prefer to be at home. Otherwise once in the morning. If I miss that window of opportunity, the window slams shut until the following morning.
I’ve tried a variety of aids and the best is Smooth Move tea. A cup of tea at night produces results in the morning.
Oh lovely, thanks to this thread I now have the phrase “honk out a dirt snake” AND the mental image of zombie poops.
I’ll just add that I’m pretty regular–except on vacation. Then, it’s typically about every three days. I think four is about my limit, which seems like nothing compared to a lot of people posting on the subject.
I usually beam down a Shatner once or twice a day. Longest time? maybe two days.
Ignorance fought and expanded once again…thanks guys!
(I’m not going to attribute the following quotes, you know who you are.)
“…honk out a dirt snake…”
“…doing a jobby…”
“…two enormous gaggers…”
“…a crap-factory…it felt like someone spackled by (sic) corn-shoot closed…”
“…snap off a twenty pound steamin’ log…”
“…I finally say goodbye to the little guy…”
“…it looked like the pretzel machine got stuck on “Open”…”
“…sprout the monkey tail…”
“…poopitats…”
“…slip out…”
“…to get the brown turtle to poke his head from his shell…”
“…zombie poops…”
"…Smooth Move tea…
“…beam down a Shatner…”
So how do I turn these into pick-up lines at my local pub?
Six days while at cub scout camp. Refused to use the outhouse after reading that black-widow spiders like to frequent them.
It’s never been 7 years but when I first learned that some people poop EVERY day I was astonished. Normal for me is 1-2/wk and has been all my life.
I bow to the magnificent of you iron-intestined log rollers! I can barely go 2 days without dropping off the brown kids at the pool, my longest is maybe 3 or 4 days. I wish my intestinal fortitude were as powerful as yours!
I drop the kids off at the pool at least twice a day. Nothing like a good Taco Bell gorging to get the bowels agitated.