I think the most annoying advertising I’ve ever seen was that holographic crap that they personallized and beamed into everyone’s eyes in the movie ‘Minority Report’. A few days of that shit would have me tearing the projectors out of the walls.
there was also an episode of “Dilbert” the short lived animated series, entitled “The Knack” where the PHB wanted to create a billboard in space and assigned Dilbert to design it, unfortunately, Dil had just moments earlier, accidentaly drunk from “The Cup Of Management” and was “infected with management DNA” thus losing the knack while he was designing the space-billboard…
who would have thought such a far-fetched idea would ever become reality, lets just hope the engineers responsible stay clear of management’s coffee mugs or we’re all doomed 
how about “Fintlewoodlewix”, that’s a good name for a planet
or maybe “Bob”, Planet Bob
You should try coming to Chicago. We have “Chicago Bears Football, presented by BankOne”. :rolleyes:
However, when Comiskey Park got sold as “US Cellular Field”, the public (as well as TV and print media) quickly got sick of that and began calling it Sox Park. 
Yeah, “US Cellular Field” just sounds retarded. “Safeco Field” isn’t exactly pure-sounding, but it suits this baseball fan’s ears. Maybe the “safe” part has something to do with it, or just the fact that Safeco is not that well known (it’s an insurance company).
And we’ve had this tradition for a while (Wrigley Field, anyone?), so I don’t really mind most of the time.
Microsoft Arena would be a travesty, though…
Thank you-- that’s why I couldn’t find it – wrong author(s). The title of the story is, appropriately enough, Watch This Space.
Talking of nightmarish science fiction advertising, Philip K. Dick had a story in which tiny flying robots followed people everywhere, like mosquitos, getting in their faces and ears with recorded messages like “Say, you’re not going to meet a girl are you? Do you use ****? Are you sure your breath doesn’t smell/you haven’t got dandruff/your clothes are really clean/your eyes aren’t bloodshot/etc?” They have built in AI to determine appropriate marks by location, sex, etc.
Not so far off the current level of advertising saturation, really.
In a Red Dwarf book, iirc, there was a ship devoted to triggering soupernovae in stars that would spell out a Coca-Cola icon. It is not recorded (or mentioned in the book at all) how many inhabited planets were vaporised in the process.
Leaving aside fiction and mass-murder, surely the most evil has to be schools pressured by companies to indoctrinate children. This is starting to happen 
I hate all those ‘saver cards’ that stores want you to have.
Sure, you save 12 cents off your groceries but it keeps a data base of what YOU purchase. So the store can tell when I switch brands of cat food and the brand I left can mail me coupons to get me back.
(so I fake my name and address)
Am I the only person to hate movie ads?
As far as the Hollywood-land sign goes, if you drive in SoCal you may notice that frequently towns have a some sort of large marker on a hill. It’s been a while but I seem to recall Victorville and Hemet or San Jacinto having this. This is a large letter of the first name of the town white washed on the top of the nearest mountain. I have no idea how far they go back as a tradition but the Hollywood sign is, to me, that kind of sign.
That’s what I first thought of when I read the OP (possibly because I just watchd the DVD last night!).
And I would have the same reaction as you would … but I’d recommend figuring out some way to hide your eye scan before ripping into the projectors, though.
Having worked as a supermarket cashier in a major Northeastern chain, I know from personal experience that, at least in the store I worked at, there’s a cash register button to give the card savings to people who have forgotten their cards, or anyone who asks for them. Also, check out The Safeway Identity Crisis.
There was an article in the NY Times Magazine last year about a man who’s invented a system to send sounds on a pair ultrasonic beams that are inaudible until they intersect, at which point the two waves create a third wave in the sonic spectrum that can only be heard by a single person, thus making that person feel like the sound is happening inside his head. Apparently he was already in negotiations to license his invention’s use for commercial purposes. Now, I’m not usually one to wish ill upon people, but I truly hope that this man experiences the full range of innovative business solutions created by his revolutionary technology. Same with the space advertising guy, if that story is true.
The Safeway Identity Crisis is hilarious.
I finally gave in and got a Safeway card (under the name Hagbard Celine) last month, after a couple of months of getting pissed off trying to avoid the items that had been extortionately marked up for “non-members.” (Safeway is the only nearby supermarket, or I’d just go someplace that doesn’t suck.)
I was mightily impressed by the reassuring language on the application form that promised not to divulge my personal information to “non-affiliated advertisers.” Well, that’s okay then! How exactly could they break that promise, anyway? By printing up my (okay, Hagbard’s) name and address on little cards and throwing a ticker-tape parade down Madison Avenue? “It’s okay, Mr. Celine-- if we pass your name, address, and dietary, personal hygiene and housekeeping habits on to bulk mailers, you can be sure we’re being compensated for it.” Whew!
Back to Science Fiction stories, for a moment, if I may.
I once read a short story (whose author eludes my memory) about an astronomer who notices an apparent anomalous motion in a LOT of stars. Just HUNDREDS of stars are changing their positions, relative to one another. It soon becomes so noticeable that EVERYONE notices it, and a world-wide ontological/cosmological/teleological crisis ensues.
When the stars stop moving, they seem to spell out an advertisement for a particular brand of soap flakes. An evil genius had been moving air masses around to so distort the starlight reaching the planet’s surface that individual stars were appearing to move as though choreographed. Anyway, theyy made him turn the machine off, and the stars returned to their normal apparent positions. Lots of soap flakes were sold, though.
I seem to recall reading the story during the years when my primary sources for SciFi were Analog, and Isaac Asimov’s Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.
But my vote for the most evil advertising medium is the political sound-bite.
While I would be first to strenously object to paint “Drink X Cola” across the night sky, I would have no problem with a wanted poster of Osama Bin Laden (with $25 million American dollars reward) prominently displayed over the Eastern Hemisphere nightly for a few minutes.
Can you get any more “captive audience” than an ad above every urinal?
I complained about that to the management at IKEA, mentioning that as I was seeing signs like “chëpstøf $39” about 39 times an hour in every aisle of their store, I really didn’t need to be reminded of how much I need a cardboard dinette set. I’d like to have a little break from the crass commercialism.
Don’t know if it was me, but last time I was there, the signs had morphed into “History of IKEA” blurbs.
Darn, I was having fun defacing them.
Here’s a long delayed response (hey, I wasn’t active on the Dope in 2004): This is a Fred Brown story called “Pi in the Sky” (see this description Variety SF: Fredric Brown's "Pi in the Sky" (novelette, humor)).
Yep. I see the giant “B” on the mountain when I drive to work in Burbank, CA. I was told they’re to aid in firefighting with planes and helicopters.
Come on, people. No one mentions the “robocall”? Machines that call your phone, they never tire, they aren’t deterred by your pithy two-word replies. They ring your phone but hang up before you answer. Truly the spawn of Satan.
Advertisers are eventually going to find a way to sneak an ad into fast-forwarding. I predict this.
I long for the day when we can say “ it’s a little known fact, but the Mariners stadium is officially named Safeco Field.” Like the Bay Bridge* over the Chesapeake, we don’t have to use the official name.
*(if my memory from 8th grade is correct, the official name is The William Prescott Lane Memorial Bridge)
Netflix already disables fast-forwarding (and tells you that upfront) in some kinds of content that they interrupt with previews for their own stuff…not outside ads, yet.