There’s this commercial that comes on the radio and tv and it is so fucking stupid it drives me to the point of wanting to break things… :mad:
It’s an advertisement for the Grapevine Mills Mall in Grapevine, TX and basically has this lady walking through talking to different freaks that rattle off something they do that makes no sense. The lady then turns to the screen with this mystical knowing look, and says "The Mills Effect"
I know these commercials are nationwide for the “Mills” line of malls because I see them on my satellite tv, but really…what kind of a damn campaign is this?
1. It’s absolutely stupid to the point of being insulting!
2. It makes no sense whatsoever.
3. The advertisement has absolutely nothing to do with what’s being represented.
Please tell me there are others pulling their hair out over this ad also?!? List some similar ones that drive you nuts too!
-SS :rolleyes:
If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign?
You remembered exactly what the ad was for, and even remembered that you saw it on satellite. Seems to me that the advertising worked, don’t you think?
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Three days, 18 hours, 55 minutes and 37 seconds.
151 cigarettes not smoked, saving $18.94.
Life saved: 12 hours, 35 minutes.
Here in Toronto Canada, our mayor wants to put up statues of moose on the main streets. Says it’ll boost tourism.
You can’t make up stuff like this. It’s the God’s truth.
So, Sky, you’re not gonna see this guy reach for a crying towel because of some dinky 30 second commercial in a state where they’re always reminding each other about the Alamo.
Wally - I share your grief. I had to deal with those assinine cows downtown last year. And every single day the paper would interview someone about “which is your favorite cow”. Who freaking cares?
Thats the problem though…there was no acknowledgement as to what the commercial was for or what is was selling…at the end…you get an announcer mumbling something about coming to the mall to save.
If you weren’t familiar with the area and the mall, you’d be lost!
-SS
If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign?
I’ve never seen the commerical you’re talking about (it sounds obnoxious) but the ones that piss me off are: #1) Radio commericals that open with the sound of a car wreck or a siren. #2) That irritating old bag who shills for Old Navy. I hate her. I hate her clothes. I hate her Ripped-off-from-the-Gap ad campaign.
#3) Pet.Com’s “Pets are irritating” ad campaign, which features a doggie-sock puppet that has an irritating voice and sings off-key. Badly off-key. Sets-my-teeth-on-edge-off-key. I will never buy from them. The bastards!
#4) Random image perfume/cologne commericals (Calvin Klein, to name one). All I can conclude from most of them is that the stuff smells confused, sepia-toned, out of focus and musty. Not smells I want on me.
#5) Saturn car commercials that show stupid, goofy people, “jes’ like you ‘n’ me”, but don’t tell you **one fucking thing ** about the damned car! (for example: "Classes on buttwiping: the next big thing for Joe Brownshorts. LX7: the next big thing for Saturn.)
Oh God Mullinator…you mentioned that and immediately the harmoniacal melody popped into my head of the background echo…
You guys go on…I’ll be over here cutting my wrists in the meantime! :o
-SS
If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign?
And my current pet peeve is the campaign by Pop Tarts. If you’ve seen the commercials, you’d prolly understand. Kids, in odd costumes, being plain weird. And it’s not a good weird, either…it’s “Hey, look, I’m what some adult thought kids today like, while I jump around, trying to symbolize that eating a Pop Tart is an act of rebellion, as the Pop Tart World is an entirely different one, where children dress in foil, and as cows, and in other inane costumes, and we have funny camera angles, just so it’s even odder, because if you’re eating a pop tart, then you’re rebelling from the mundane around you, so eat! Now!” :rolleyes:
What did they think they’d trigger, except nausea and bewilderment? That’s one series of commercials that I just don’t understand.
I’ve ranted about them before (I wrote a long essay on the topic, which I’ll link to if I ever get my web site up and running), but the worst offenders are the folks at Campbell’s Soup.
Exhibit #1: “I’m a harried, on-the-go mom. I was getting ready to fix my child a frozen pizza for dinner, when he showed me a picture that he had worked hard on just for me. I felt guilty, put the pizza back in the fridge, and slaved over a hot stove to make him some–Campbell’s Tomato Soup.”
Exhibit #2: “Campbell’s must have been thinking of my guys when they created this new soup-in-a-jar. You see, everyone in my house with a Y-chromosome is an incompetent simian, and is totally incapable of providing food for himself. Now that Campbell’s has eliminated the difficult step of Adding A Can Of Water, My Guys can negotiate the daunting task of fixing themselves some lunch. Now they are only dependent upon me for their cleaning, laundry, transportation, ass-wiping, and cooking except for tomato soup! Thanks, Campbell’s!”
Exhibit #3: “We all know kids like to eat with their hands. As parents, it is our job to encourage such behavior, and that’s why I buy Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup–the Soup You Can Eat With Your Hands! Actually, it’s really only the chicken and noodles you can eat with your hands, as it is difficult with actual soup. That’s OK–you can just pick up the bowl and drink it, or just dump it in the floor and roll around in it! Aren’t kids great?”
My essay also talked about the Butternut Bread commercial, in which the nutritional value of Butternut is demonstrated by a mother shoving nutritionally equivalent amounts of other foods down the maw of her eerily willing kid. If you examine what they say, and actually look up some info on nutrition (and I am geek enough to do this), you’ll find that the figures they were giving were actually not impressive at all. Deceptive.
Absolutely! “Hey look a “thing!” He has a new thing, everyone loves to get a thing!” HUH!?!?! Another thing that pissed me off so bad about this company was a few months before the site opened I agreed to some phone survey which ended up lasting over 10 minutes (probably would’ve been longer had I not slammed the phone down in rage.) Stupidest questions ever. Stuff like: “Judging from the name “pets.com” would you think you would find information about pets here?” uh “How about low cost vaccinations?” er “vetrinary services?” etc. etc. After about 25 of these inane questions I finally said “How the hell am I supposed to know any of that from the name “PETS.COM”??? I hear “PETS.COM” and I think “PETS.COM” and nothing else!” He said, just please answer on a scale of 1 to 19 ma’am, and went into the next lame-ass question. I answered with a slam in his ear. I can’t imagine anyone could gain the slightest bit of knowledge from a survey like that.
“Satan – I’ve had enough of your two cents!” – The hilarious Federalist
Dole Fruit Cups.
A small serving-sized tub of mixed fruit. Good. Kids need fruit. Kids like fruit. Fruit is good for them, and they like it. Why don’t we just stick to that for an ad? Parents will go for it, I bet… NO. INSTEAD, their slogan is, “Half the fun is when they’re done!” They are suggesting that the small plastic dish-shaped piece of trash (or recycling, where applicable) remaining after your children eat the fruit, makes a wonderfully entertaining toy!! What kind of retarded children do these advertising people have, anyway? Throw the fucking thing away, and go play! They show some kid eating the fruit and then catching a fly in his empty cup. You know what, that is fun. Maybe even more than half the fun.
The second is for some granola bar. Quaker perhaps. Again… granola bars good for you, generally speaking, and kids probably like them!! This company’s slogan is “Chewy stops the chatter.” I don’t recall the details of the commercial, but the gist of this campaign is this: Give our product to your children when you want them to shut their fucking mouths for a couple of minutes! What the hell is that all about?
Why do all companies now feel that they need to demonstrate that their products have multiple uses, to the point where they just start making crap up?
Good fruit, plus you can play with the trash.
Not only a nice snack, but less cruel than a ball gag.
The @#&^*&!@#! Jane Seymour Gerber ads. Fucking stuff tastes like crap - with great flavours such as “prunes mixed with leeks”, no wonder all the kids I know who were fed this stuff puked it back up. Yeah, I think it’s them who came up with the “comfort proteins”… Uuuugh…
Maybe it’s just that Seymour makes me hurl.
Way up there with the damned tampon ads in which you see women running (with white pants), being all happy n’ stuff… Yeah, so realistic.
Cuz this is the pit, let me say, FUCK I’m having a BAD day. Fuck fuck fuckedee fuck fuck fuck. :mad:
Whew. That felt better.
E.
“Black holes were created when God divided by 0” ~Wally
How about commercials that use lies and half truths to “document” the medicinal properties of their product? Like the dandruff shampoo that says something like “You can feel the medicine working, it tingles!”. Uhm, it “tingles” because you added menthol to your shampoo. One could get the same effect by rubbing Ben Gay on your scalp, but I doubt that will cure your psoriasis.
Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold
