Commercials you absolutely hate. (lame)

I wasn’t sure whether to put this thread in Cafe Society or the Pit, but since it is likely to come to contain a good amount of loathing and venom, I decided on the Pit.

Someone else in another thread briefly mentioned how much they hate the Skittles commercial with the flashing granny. I’m not too keen on that one either, but I think the one I hate the most right now is a commercial for some Post cereal (the name of it escapes me right now). Anyway, the ad plays out like you’re watching a cooking show. A guy with a fake, overly excited (and therefore extremely annoying) British accent claims how wonderful cranberries are in this cereal and harps about “the tartness of the crans”. What an idiotic premise for a commercial. If this guy were an actual cook with his own show I’d like to stuff a fistful of “crans” in his gob just to shut him up.

Well, that’s the ad I can’t stand. What others do you know of that make you gnash your teeth with rage?

All the radio ads finally got to me. I now only listen to the government funded station; ironically it’s also the alternative station and the only one where the dj’s actually have any relevance beyond “do you have any stories about g rated pranks you pulled at work? Call and share!”.

Well, there is one sick ad in Australia which I absolutely hate.

Its for some alcoholic beverage. Its starts with some techno music in the background. There’s a guy sleeping, and his tongue slides out of his mouth. :eek:
Then its starts crawling out the door.

Words cannot describe how repulsive it is.

The tongue makes its way to a party, dances around a bit, then drags home a bottle of the drink, and slides back into the guys mouth. Ugghh…
All the while, they’ve got some crap techno beat playing.

On separate rant, do they REALLY have to show panty-liner ads on tv?

Oh god, the tongue ad! Guaranteed to give all viewers the image of a disembodied autonamous tongue every time they see the label. I can see why someone thought THAT would be a good idea :rolleyes:

Your government pays for radio stations?

Ooo! You just reminded me of another terrible commercial along those lines…

There’s a Tampax one where 3 girls are trapped on a desert island. Suddenly, they realize: They might not have enough tampons!!! So they take whatever boxes of them they have and spell out “Send Tampax” in the sand with tampons in huge letters. A plane drops a box off and they are saved.

Send Tampax??? How about send FOOD? How about RESCUE US???

A station.

There’s also another horrible ad playing in Melbourne.

Its for a company whichs sells plants, small trees, shrubs.

Get this. A fifty-something year old man. Overweight, greying hair. Jumping about the wilderness. In a tutu (I shit you not). Pink. Stretchy. Tight. With a Skirt.

And, he’s holding a WAND! Its a candy-cane wand with a large star at the end!
And you can see his grey-chest hairs peeking out of the tutu.

So this guy jumps around, twisting and turning (in a mockery of ballet), shouting about the great deals they have on the plants. WTF??
And sometimes, his wife joins him! Poor woman.

Another emotionally scarring ad!

Which commercials do I hate? All of them. Each and every last one.

I loathe radio ads so much (especially car dealers - I despise fake enthusiasm) that I’ll only listen to NPR, and that only during the news portions. The rest of the day, I’m listening to CD’s.

Between the absolute stupidity/lowest common denominator of TV programming (and that’s a pit thread of its own) and the crap commercials, I don’t watch TV, either.

Now if I could only do something about those fucking billboards…

I hate the the new (or at least, I think they’re new) Johnsonville Brats commercials.

I hate the ads the History Channel has been running to promote George Foreman’s show about Las Vegas. George is singing, folks. George can’t sing. Neither can the gospel choir in the back seat.

Makes me want to heave my Lean Mean Dead Animal Charring Machine right through the TV.

On a slightly related note, you know those PSAs they’ve been running on VH1, trying to get people to register to vote? I saw one the other day that had the guy basically saying, “Yeah, we all know both candidates suck, but get out and vote anyway, because that way you have the right to bitch about it!” Hilarious. I wish I could remember the exact wording.

:confused: This surprises you? The BBC is government funded. (And I’d like to thank all the Britons who payed their television tax for paying for BBC radio for the rest of us :smiley: ) And NPR is government funded…not as much as most people think but still…

As is AFN (Armed Forces Network), and their ads are usually pretty lame.

Ah, there’s a Chef Boy Ar Dee ad for some canned spaghetti product that I particularly dislike. The first scene is a mom and her theoretically adorable little moppet in the grocery store and Mom is saying “No Chef tonight, we’ve had it every night this week.” And the moppet whines, “But I loooove Chef”.

 Already we've veered into the realm of improbability.    First of all, serving Chef Boy Ar Dee for dinner every night in a week verges on child abuse.    And even though it's been a good 35 or 40 years since I had the misfortune of eating any, I distinctly remember it tasting as though they'd troubled to predigest it before putting it in the cans.    It tasted vaguely of vomit.       And who the hell buys canned spaghetti anyway?    It's a matter of seconds to toss some macaroni in water and toss on some decent sauce.

Anyway, moving on, the can then jumps off the shelf and follows the theoretically adorable moppet home, in the process rolling over obstacles, dodging car wheels, and generally dragging itself through the dirt -- eventually rolling up to the TAM somehow unscathed instead of, as you might expect, with its label effaced and punctured in several places.       And Mom gives a little smile and takes the animated and apparently intelligent can into the kitchen to rip out its entrails and serve it.    Instead of scolding the TAM for shoplifting which is the only logical way for the can to show up.

Yeah, it's not an overtly offensive commercial -- just far too twee for a stomach that's already contemplating the horrors of a Chef Boy Ar Dee meal.

Wow, no one has mentioned that Quizno we are the moon rat thingies.


Forget the SpongeMonkeys. As annoying as they can be, the worst commercial BY FAR, is the “raised by wolves” guy.

I think it was Quizno’s as well (what the FUCK is wrong with their marketing department is if was?). Two guys sit down, one with a nice Fresh just-bought sandwhich and the other with his brown-bag lunch. Man-With-Nice-Sandwhich quips "What, were you raised by wolves?’

Cut scene to Man #2 being raised by wolves, including nursing from mother wolf…

Yeah that one was pretty fucked up too. I don’t think I’ll ever eat at that place.

The most annoying current commercial for me is the car series with stupid “We’ve created a monster” and “We have x-ray vision” shit.

Here is my standard link for these threads: Commercials I Hate . Be sure to check out the Message Board.

I really cannot stand the Chocolate Milk commercials…all of them…the one wihere the guy mails it to himself…the one where the guy wipes out on his dirt bike…the one where the sister is on a pogo stick…the one where the lady at the grocery checkout can’t get it to scan. Why do I hate these? How hard is to shake a bottle of chocolate milk, really?