What's the most frustrating, soul-destroying bureacratic process?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I once had to call INS at work, to ask them a question.

LULZ!!

The phone system is insane. Press 1 if you’re a lawyer, 2 if you need form Y-u223959-R, 3 if you need Y-u223950-D, and 4 if you’re horny.

What if you’re none of the above at that moment? You’re screwed, that’s what. I had to “lie” to the phone system just to get a human on the phone, then said human got really combative as I tried to explain my situation and ask who I needed to be talking to. “Call back and listen to the options.”

Good times.

22

gotpasswords, when I moved to NC from IL the fact that I don’t have a middle name didn’t cause me any problem at all. Maybe that’s because my IL ID (I don’t drive) and all my other documentation didn’t have a middle initial, either.

I am curious about how you could not know your own middle name, though.

23

Immigration.

Not so bad as the Lunar House story, but Australian immigration is no picnic either.

We had several interviews which went a bit like this: No, his mother didn’t come to the wedding, no we don’t think that’s unusual, yes, we got married in our living room, I’m paying for immigration, that’s why we did that, and also why I have no wedding ring and I’m not actually required to have a big wedding or a wedding ring or to take his name, am I? No, I don’t think it’s suspicious that I didn’t take his name, why do you? His toothbrush is blue. (They seperated us and asked us innane questions like - what color is his toothbrush).

Anyway, I got through that. I got through the medical, which was hours and hours and hours of waiting. I finally went to get my temporary permanent residency - yes, I realise the oxymoron there - and was told I couldn’t have it because my son, who was not migrating with me, had not had a medical exam back in the US.

So…I had to orgainse that, with his uncooperative father. That was a joy, and get this - he was migrating in less than six months, we were just letting him finish the school year. And immigration knew this -we had the paperwork in already.

GAH.

So now I need full permanent residency. Two years later, we had to provide proof that my husband and I were not only still married, but in a “genuine and continuing” relationship. WTF? Here’s something fun for you to try - I want you to prove that your partner lives with you all the time, and that he or she has a genuine realationship with you. Bills must be in two names (nevermind at least two major utilites don’t like to do that) but bills are not enough. Pictures. Wedding invitiations. Party invitiations (in this day and age of electronic invitations to things, how fun was that?) Affidavits from your friends. Go on, prove to me that you don’t just live together as room mates. I was semi joking about making a sex tape at one stage.

GAH!

Get through that, and now I’m applying for citizenship. This has been easier, the test was dead simple and it only took them a month to schedule me for it - well, unless you count the first several phone calls where I was assured I’d be placed on a waiting list, but I’m too smart for that because I know in immigration speak that means “immigrant reassured and told to fuck off, but we will do nothing.”

So I passed the test. In February. Am I a citizen, given that I passed the test and paid my fees? Noooo…no, I’m not. I have to have the ceremony before I’m a citizen. Which my local council must arrange for. Sometime. I’m not allowed to even call to see when that might be until six months have elapsed.

And then I nevereverever have to deal with DIMMIA again!! (Truly, my kid is included on my citizenship application.)

Unless, like anu-la1979, they manage to screw something up. Which could totally happen. sigh

24

Wow. Honestly, if someone asked me what color my girlfriend of 2 years’ toothbrush is (she basically lives with me and her toothbrush is in my bathroom not 15 feet away from me as I type), I would have no idea. You’re supposed to change your toothbrush every 6 months anyway. Is that really something people keep up with?

25

This. I recently traded in my old car when I purchased a new one. Trade in was a Friday after work. I had the papers and proof out my ears that the car was no longer in my possession as of 6:00 pm Friday.

But, according to the state of Maryland, I have to carry insurance on that car until I turn the plates in. At a minimum, that would have been the following Monday (since the MVA offices don’t accept plates during their Saturday hours). Unfortunately, I couldn’t get time off work that Monday. I had to wait a full week to turn in those stupid plates. All the while carrying insurance on the old car. What do they think the plates can do all by themselves? Cause an accident while not attached to any car?

But that was nothing compared to the nightmare that was getting those plates to begin with when I moved to Maryland. To do so, I had to produce a title or some special form from the bank currently holding the title… only the bank wouldn’t produce it until I could prove the car was registered at my new address. Neither bank nor state of Maryland would budge. Lucky for me, I was very close to paying off the car loan, so I did that in order to get a title and get the stupid new plates.

26

Having dealt with both the California and Maryland DMV and MVA or whatever they call their particular circles of Hell, at different times. Multiple trips, shitloads of money, all kinds of crap. At least Louisiana was amusing, even if it took three trips there to get myself registered. The more the person liked you, the less they charged you, or something.

When I walked into the county office here in Idaho and walked out less than an hour later with my license, new plates with two-year registration, having only taken any time at all because I had to do the written test, with no fuss and for under $100 for all of it, I called my mom to report in. “I hate you,” she said.

27

Wow… that’s not fun at all! Which country did you move from, out of interest?

28

I’m American. My friend married a Chinese national, they had a less fun time.

They were suspicious of us (seven years ago, now, it’s much more common today I suspect) because we met on the internet, and because I didn’t go the traditional fiancee visa route, instead chosing to get married here. We always knew it was going to be no fun, but immigration made it even less fun that I could possibly have imagined. You’re presumed to be trying to rort the system, rather than not.

Rigamarole, we were wise to that, I’d been doing some Usenet reading about what the interviews were like. That’s the only weird question we got, but I read of much stranger questions.

29

I left some furniture for sale on consignment at a second-hand furniture store (that had been in the area for over 20 years). Two weeks later the store closes leaving no contact details or anything. After a bit of mucking around I end up in this situation:

  • the police says it’s a commercial dispute and refuse to look into it, try the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission
  • the ACCC say it’s a state matter as the store was local, try the (state) Office of Fair Trade
  • the OFT say it’s a police matter as my furniture was effectively stolen

So a perfect triangle, each organisation pointing to the next.

30

I got my Australian citizenship slightly before you did, and it was basically “Hi, I’m a New Zealander who’s been living here for a couple of years. Can I have Australian Citizenship please?”

“Sure! All we need is your application fee, and your signature here. The ceremony is six weeks or so away, and we’ll send you a letter in the next fortnight or so with the details. See you there!”

Just goes to show how different things can be depending on who you get and which boxes you’ve ticked on the form… hopefully your application will come through OK, though!

I know it’s a lot different now, but I’ve got friends at university trying to get Australian permanent residency and they’re not having an easy time of it either. Which surprises me, given that these are all qualified, literate, English-speaking people, not illiterate goat herders from Nowhereistan.

31

New Zealanders get a different set of rules from the rest of us, is my understanding. Choice, eh bro? (Sorry, my MD and Marketing guy and BDM and Executive Assistant are all from NZ and it’s all “choice” and “bro” and “eh” around here. :wink: ) It’s changed somewhat in the last couple of years, but essentially you guys do just get to show up and stay legally.

My citizenship (I’m told) is taking so long because my local council is Sydney city, which has as you can imagine quite a few people needing to have the ceremony.

I’m more cheesed off that they get my not unsubstantial amount of money and I passed their silly test (and really, silly - if you’ve been in Australia more than five minutes and speak English, you can pass it) and now…nothing. I should be a citizen from passing the test and the ceremony should be a formality. Further, I pay taxes like everybody else, and I mostly would just like the ability to vote, thanks. If it weren’t for my son I’d just be a permanent resident in perpetuity, I guess.

At least I don’t have to swear loyalty to the Queen.

32

Do you know if they went into liquidation? If so you’re possibly SOL, but call the liquidator (if this is a current situation.)

33

I bet they’re from the North Island, probably Auckland. NZers from the South Island (well, non-Maori/Pacific Islander ones) don’t generally go around calling each other “Bro”. :wink: But yes, NZers have different rules than other nationalities, but not as different as they used to be. Trying to move here from NZ and get Australian citizenship nowadays is apparently quite hard- you can move here and work here as long as you want with no problems, but becoming a permanent resident eligible for citizenship is an entirely different kettle of fish, I’m told.

I know a lot of people- Kiwis especially, but also Americans and Britons and South Africans- who basically are permanent residents in perpetuity for the reasons you describe. Its kind of sad- the Government goes out of its way to encourage everyone to become Australian Citizens and then makes it really, really hard to do.

Really? I did. Which wasn’t an issue because I’m a Monarchist anyway. :slight_smile:

34

Getting a building permit for some house remodeling. Multiple lines, each a mile long. When you reach the front, you find out that you should’ve gone to another line first. And during all this you have to deal with intensely bored civil servants who are in no rush to accomplish their jobs. And to top this off they want an ungodly sum for the privilege of handing you a piece of paper so that you can start taking apart your house.

35

I’m going to say applying for disability as well.

I’m 100% certain that the process is designed to encourage people with psychiatric disabilities give up and kill themselves instead.

36

I’m going for trying to get a social security number in France. So far, it’s been 4 months. I thought I got lucky when the social security people sent me a request for my quarterly income, so they can charge me the social contributions I ought to be making - it has a social security number on it. But it’s clearly a temporary one, since it’s got 000s where real numbers ought to be.

Without it, I have to pay for all medical treatment up front, and then, when I get a number, I can claim it back. Eventually. My pile of receipts is growing as various different doctors try and work out what’s wrong with me. Since I need to go and have some tests under general anaesthetic at some point soon, it’s getting increasingly urgent that they give me a number.

Every time I try to ask someone what’s happening, I get sent to a different organisation. I’ve finally managed to narrow down who I really ought to be talking to, at least in theory. Any attempt to explain any of the above, particularly the urgency, is met with complete indifference, apparently because I started the process over the Internet. France doesn’t really deal well with the Internet.

I’m getting married in September, so will then have to start the process of dealing with Monaco and their social security - my partner works there. They, at least, are reputed to be more easy to deal with. I hadn’t thought there was a serious risk that I might not have my own secu sociale cover by then, though.

It is driving me mad.

37

I am convinced that any immigration process is designed to discourage anyone from wanting to settle down in said country.

The most frustrating thing I ever encountered was after I was mugged and my purse was stolen - along with my passport, which had a slip of paper called an I-94 in it. This is a card you fill out in the airplane on your way to the States and it gets stapled into your passport. You need it for various things (like filing your taxes or anything to do with paperwork). I inquired as to how to go about replacing it and was presented with two choices - either leave the country and return, in which you get it for free on the airplane and you just fill it out again, or PAY $320 to get a replacement without leaving the country. What the fuck? It’s an itty bitty piece of paper you get for free on an airplane!

I had to leave the country anyway, to get my visa reissued in my new passport (another frustrating process), but the whole thing just boggled my mind.

38

I would have to think that in some of those things, the correct answer is “I don’t know.” You ever watch that movie Green Card? They foul up on Andie MacDowell’s brand of face cream, because Gerard Depardieu is trying so hard to remember all the shit he’s memorized. If he’d only shrugged and said “Who knows?” or “something with a pink lid on it,” they’d probably have been rubber-stamped.

39

I have a client who only goes to one bank to cash her dead husbands checks. I have tried to help her fix this but for some reason she just likes cashing his checks. He has been dead for 40 years…:eek:

40

I was on a motorcycle trip through Europe a few years ago. I was going from Croatia to Serbia. They border guard asked for my passport, no problem, then asks for insurance. Well I couldn’t get my insurance papers out in the 10 seconds he wanted it, so he tells me to go buy some.

He’s kept my passport.

I go to the building to buy insurance. They of course do not take US money so I have to get the local currency. Well you can’t convert currency without a passport. I can’t get my passport without insurance. I was kind of stuck. Luckily my wife was with me so she got the money converted and I bought the insurance. The border guard looked at the insurance and handed me my passport. At least that worked in my favor. I don’t know what I would have done had she not been there.