I was working at a large, well-known company when 9/11 hit. Like everywhere else, we had events and fundraisers for a while after that. After the war in Afghanistan started, we had a raffle and people brought in donated things to raise money. Me and a coworker were looking at the items to be raffled off and in the items, there was this hand made blanket that was really quite nice. I looked at it and said, “We are supposed to be helping the victims and soldiers here and somebody brings in a fucking Afghan to raffle off!” That was the style of the blanket but probably not the best thing to say. I don’t know if I have ever hit so many levels of inappropriateness with one comment. Yes people heard it and it got back to the person that donated it.
Sam, why was that inappropriate? I thought Lighthouse for the Blind did employ Blind people to help make their various products?
Was someone nearby blind?
Jim 
The quality of the broom was so bad, I was trying to make a joke saying that it had to have been made by a blind person.
When I realized it really had been made by a blind person, I felt bad.
D’oh :smack: Okay, I get it now. So much for my reading comprehension.
Jim
As a young little dose (about 9 or so) I made a comment about birthdays not being bad until you get so old that they come but you can’t. I had read it off a coffee mug.
I thought it was a joke about dying, so I piped up and told it.
At a luncheon for the ladies auxiliary at the pastor’s wife’s house.
:o :o :o
My mom explained later in the car. I was mortified.
The funny thing about inappropriate jokes is that sometimes you make them without even knowing it.
Someone did it in this thread. I’m not saying who or what they said because I don’t want anyone to feel embarrassed. It was kinda of jarring when I read it, but it still made me smile.
So…even though the potential victim knows the joke is kinda gnarly, sometimes it doesn’t hurt like it probably should. Take heart.
When I was about 8, my grandfather married the woman who I consider to be my grandma. But at 8, all I knew was that I had a biological grandma who wasn’t allowed to come to our house because she stole things to pawn for alcohol money, and his second wife was also my grandma even though they had divorced long before I was born. So when I am at the big party after the wedding in my cute pink dress, I look at my grandfather and say VERY LOUDLY “So what do I call this one?” Then I gestured to my new (and very wonderful) grandma with my thumb like an overly excited hitchhiker. After all, if I already had two grandmas on this side of the family, wouldn’t the new one need a different title? My grandpa was not impressed. My grandma, however, thought it was freaking hilarious and still tells that story to people she meets when I’m around.
I have a friend who took a job as the personal assistant/secretary to the president of a company that makes and sells hangers. You know, clothes hangers, fancy wooden ones for suits, cheaper plastic and metal wire ones. I don’t see her often, but when I finally did, I asked (jokingly, but completely deadpan) if they got a lot of business from abortion clinics.
It took about forty seconds for her face to change from blank noncomprehension to wide-eyed shock before she collapsed in a fit of guilty, hysterical laughter. She said she was going to go to her boss and make the suggestion, that perhaps they could open up sales to a whole new market. As far as I know, she still works there.
During the fall of 2001, My high school was putting on a production of West Side Story. A few days after September 11th, one of the sharks groused that sharks are stupid, they just swim around and kill people. Someone else remarked that jets kill people too.
The year was 1997, and Princess Diana had died the previous night. Everyone in our 4th grade classroom was lamenting her death when LittleRamenMonster intelligently says, “Well, she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, so it served her right.”
Did I mention my teacher was an avid women’s magazine-reader and royal-watcher? :smack:
Blame it on my dad, who instilled in me early that breaking a rule, ANY rule, should be punishable by death :rolleyes:
This has got to top you all.
In 1970, I met and promptly fell for a young woman - that relationship could never be.
Her name was quite unusual, so a quick Google could identify her and her location.
In 1998, I was putting together what I once saw called “the Sound Track of my Puberty”. While burning them to CD, I remembered that a couple of them had been among her favorite songs.
So I googled her again, got her address address, and sent off 3 CD’s. She had made her home in FL, but ended up taking a job (at age 41) in TX. She was never was “texas girl”.
One of the CD’s was by “It’s a Beautiful Day”. For those who don’t know, their single hit was entitled “White Bird” - which includes the refrain “White bird must fly, or she will die”.
She reacted by changing her phone listing to “initials only”. I had no idea why, until a couple of years later, when I foung out that, at the time she was fighting a series of cancers.
3 years later, she went back to her home in FL - and died 3 months later of cancer of the brain at age 50.
It turns out that she was dying when I sent the Cd’s.
For an obscenely germain gift, sending that song to her has got to be the damned near the top.
Damn, I’m getting tired of visiting graves…
This was a few years ago when playing D&D and a player was getting under my skin. Guys sometimes rag on each other, and I’m fine with that, but he was doing it at an inappropriate time, laying it on a bit thick, and I just don’t like to hear people call someone a fag.
Him: You’re a fag.
Me: Excuse me, what did you say?
Him. I said you’re a fag.
Me: Pardon me, I didn’t understand you, because usually when you call me a fag it comes out as “mmmffff mfff famfff” because your mouth is full of my cock.
Turns out all the people playing on the other tables heard what I had said and I was a little embarassed.
Marc
This is one that was said to me:
A few years ago, when I asked my husband for a divorce, he attacked me and literally tried to wring my neck. A nearby repairman saved my ass, cops came, kids scarred for life, etc.
A couple of months after that, at a family get-together, my mom put her hands around my neck and shook me playfully. I told her to quit it, and she laughed and said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like me choking you?” I had to laugh at that, because it didn’t bother me in the least, but of course she wasn’t really thinking about what she was saying. A moment later, this look of utter horror spread over her face as she realized what an inappropriate thing she had said.
Mom: :eek:
me: 
Oh I just remembered another one… when I was 8 or so, I had just learned that the word “late” also meant “deceased”, and a friend of my mother’s was pregnant at the time. I overheard her say the baby was a week late and I helpfully chimed in with “That means she’s dead!” :smack:
I always felt bad about that… 
A friend of mine in NJ is a veterinarian. Many years ago he was examining a dog and asked the owner, “So, when is your baby due?”. Well, he was just making small talk, but she wasn’t pregnant. She was very upset.
This reminds me of one of Dave Barry’s “16 Things That Take 50 Years To Learn”: “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”
some of my friends were talking about violent sports video games, like NFL Blitz and the like. I brought up an arcade game that I vaguely remember where the players were vikings and there are traps on the field, like random bottomless holes and the like, with NES, maybe SNES graphics. A friend asked if there were any cheerleaders to rape. Now, he explained that he was thinking “Vikings…rape, loot, and pillage” but damn that came off wrong.
I thought the offensive part was just the dead baby joke, and I thought it was pretty mild. Then I read your last remark. Good Gord, that’s hilarious.
Sorry, everybody, I didn’t mean to disappear for the last couple of days. It was my birthday on Monday (huzzah!), so I was pretty busy.
I definitely feel like less of an asshole now, so here goes:
silenus just posted in MPSIMS about how he started his car and accidentally killed a kitten that had crawled up into the engine. The story is pretty sad, and the reactions to it were all very sympathetic. It took all of my willpower to resist the urge to just pop in and say, “Pics?”
Reminds me of the **Mad About You ** when not only is she not pregnant, she’s a guy.
When I was little I asked to be excused to go to the bathroom, from dinner with my Grandma and great-grandparents, saying that “it really piles up in there”. They were not amused.
When I was more reserved and less comfortable with big dinners out, an acquaintance said that I was so quiet. I hated that crap, but remembered the saying about opening your mouth and removing all doubt, so I said, “Well, at least I’m not saying anything stupid.” Apparently that can be taken in a way that offends those who have been talking.
The day after a friend’s lifelong pal had killed himself I was sitting with him as he was playing Snood. He started losing a screen and just shot Snoods to get it over with so I said, “Yeah, just kill yourself.”
Another time I was with a group of friends and the game was that a couple of people would go up and freeze in odd positions while the “audience” would supply amusing captions. One guy froze in a position vaguely indicating the girl’s chestal area (not meaning to be sexual at all) and I blurted out “Look at Wendy’s boob job!” :o
Words to live by, but you can drive yourself crazy thinking of all the permutations, and be almost unable to speak!!
Story of my life. 