ummmmmm I have to differ with you… it really is funny.
There is a possible save for that one, you then hug him & yell “Cousin!”
He either laughingly hugs back or decks you.
At a workplace long ago and far away I had a co-worker and friend whose mother was dying from a particularly aggressive form of brain cancer.
I was befelled by a nasty headache one afternoon at work and it seems I just couldn’t say “ohmigod I think I have a brain tumor” enough times in front of my work pal and other co-workers. I finally realized my fuck pas and did an apology and slunk away.
During the L.A. riots I said something unspeakable to an Af-American friend. In my head it sounded cutting edge, hip, and ironic but was so horrifying when said out loud that I can’t repeat it. I still shrivel inside a little bit when I think of it 
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So I’m at work in the kitchen of a restaurant a few years ago, cooking alongside my all-time favorite coworker. This was guy I got along with great, thanks to our shared sense of humor and similar interests. From the kitchen we had a clear view of the dining room.
One day I looked out into the dining room just as two fat old ladies came in the front, both wearing ridiculous baseball caps (I mean the hats looked really stupid on them. Baseball caps just don’t work with certain hairstyles.) Naturally, I had to mention to my friend/coworker, “Hey, here come the fat old ladies in baseball caps!”
It was only when he went out to visit with the ladies that I realized I had seen them before. The “fat old ladies in baseball caps” were my friend’s mother and younger sister. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
He never said anything to me about it, then or since, and we’re still good friends several years later, so I’m not sure if he actually heard me, or if he did hear but didn’t realize who I was talking about. More likely, knowing him, he just chose to ignore it. I still feel very stupid every time I recall it, though.
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I hereby formally request permission to use “fuck pas” in the future.
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As an Af-American, I am now incredily curious as to what was said. Given the context of the forum, I think everyone here would understand that your intent was not to offend.
Okay, most of you will think this unworthy, or geeky, or both.
This happened tonight. I was in an AIM chatroom, the central topic of which is a DC-Comics based roleplaying community. The various and sundry players were discussing the plethora of “Pregnancy” storylines on another online roleplaying game. One of the players, who currently has the role of Lois Lane, and who is doing a pregnancy plot with her, comments that the explosion of such stories makes her want to end Lois’s pregnancy.
Now, to my credit, I bit my tongue and didn’t say what came to mind until after that player had left. But it was still offensive, and partially inspired by a comment I read in this thread earlier.
“But where is she going to find a Kryptonite coat hanger at THIS time of night?”
I’ve said far too many grossly inappropriate things in my life to keep track of, but I can tell you my best for the day…
This chick I work with is just hideous. I think she’s also bipolar, because about half the time she’s spontaneously an unspeakable bitch. I try to cut her some slack, because I’m sure she’s been fucked with enough in her life just for looking like a mutilated horse, but today she really, really pissed me off. She bit my head off for basically no reason, so I stomped off to avoid yelling at her, but one of my coworkers saw it and was like, “Yeah, don’t mess with Sara. She can get mean,” and before I even knew what I was saying, I spat out “Fuck her, she’s just pissed because she’s ugly!” whoops…
Hi Asimovian: I think I may have gleaned “fuck pas” off the Dope, so it’s non-copyrighted 
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It makes me shrivel inside to even write this, but here goes: I said something in the realm of “hey, homegirl . . . ready to go lootin’ with me tonight?” I immediately and profusely apologized and my friend denied that she thought it was offensive. We were very comfortable with discussing race and teasing one another about touchy subjects, but no matter what she said I felt it to be an awful remark down to my toes. 12 years later this is still my “think twice” reminder before I blurt.
I said something at work a couple weeks ago that I sort of regret… fyi I supervise people scoring writing samples on standardized tests.
We’ve been having problems with the computer system, so people get thrown out even when their accuracy is decent. One of my scorers got bumped out and came up to me asking “Am I screwing up worse than usual?”
I checked his stats and told him, “Nope, no worse than usual.”
Which didn’t strike me as a bad thing to say until a third person piped up “Wow, that’s cold, Shannon.”
I was immediately flustered. “I meant that he’s not…oh, forget it.” :o
Collecting my group to send off on a tour (Tour A) - the excursions manager explains in hushed tones that two guests will not be coming with us. The husband died in the night.
Well, I huffed, the wife might as well come along - she’s not getting a refund… and then as the coffin came down the gangplank, I mused on starting up Tour Z.
Ten minutes later, this still makes me giggle.
My worst isn’t actually all that bad. In high school, we were having some kind of debate about something or another, and I was squaring off against a girl I’ll call Jennifer. She made a speech without really saying anything and I was feeling pissy for whatever reason, so my response started with: “Unlike Jennifer, I belive Y instead of X. Also unlike Jennifer, I have evidence to support my position.” Not that bad, but the room exploded with laughter and Jennifer was really humiliated. I sorta wanted to apologize to her later, but a) I didn’t know her all that well, and b) I was a proud little shit, so I never did.
When I was 11, my uncle came to visit us. Now at the time I did not know my uncle was gay. My freind was over at my house, and my uncle was in the bathroom. I was standing right outside the bathroom door in my bedroom, and proceded to very loudly tell my friend a joke about gay people. My mom came running in the room looking like she was about to have a stroke, clenching her teeth and holding a finger to her lips. Thats how I found out my uncle was gay.
A couple years ago I was at a car show with my friend who is black and some other people. It was very hot. We were sitting around and my friend mentioned that a group of people at one car were leaving. I noticed they were the only black people left at the car show, and I said something to the effect of “All the black people are leaving, are they more sensitive to the heat?”
Instantly I felt mortified at what I had said, I think my friend was a little offended but he realizes I say shit all the time without thinking, and we are still friends.
Oh one more. When I was 5 years old, my uncle came into town with his new wife Kim , who was meeting us for the first time. My mom had told me to clean up my room and this was one of the few times in my childhood I actually listened and did it. I was finished and sitting on the floor playing with some toys. Kim came into the room and said “David you did a great job cleaning up your room!”. I looked up at her, narrowed my eyes, and said, “I didn’t tell you to come in here.”
My mom was mortified, I feel somewhat bad to this day because my uncles wife actually felt sorry for coming in my room.
Best user name evar! The stroke part was morbidly funny too. Heh, you said feces.
Oh, you should have…
I did say it after the player left, and the other folks remaining didn’t seem to find it terribly offensive OR entertaining… Sort of in that middle nebulous zone between the two. 
I was outside at my old job having a smoke break with a group of about 10 when a girl from the bank that shared our building walked by. She was kind of a bitch, and she dressed pretty sleazy for working in an office. She was wearing a short skirt slit to the ass. Anyway, one of the smokers looked at her outfit and says “Wow, that’s a huge slit!” and a few people nodded and agreed. I said “Yeah, and that cut up the back of her skirt is big too!”
It was a:
:eek: moment for all. Mostly :eek:
That game is The Lost Vikings, in case you’re interested.
The Lost Vikings wasn’t a sports game.