What's the most unfair situation you've ever been in?

In My Humble Opinion
42

I was thinking about this earlier today…

Almost 3 years ago, I won an all-paid student trip to Washington DC, NYC, and Boston. The other students were all from 10th to 12th grade. The catch was that if the chaperones sent you back home, you and your parents had to pay all the expenses (probably close to $3000, perhaps more). The definite reasons for expulsion were drug use and committing a crime.

Looking back, and even then, I realize/d that 3 adults are/were perhaps not enough to deal with 35 teenagers on a field trip. For example, they won’t be paying close attention to every one of them.

I am shy… I am very shy. This does not mean I am rude, harsh, or hate people, I just really need a lot of time in order to be very comfortable in a social situation. The chaperones didn’t see it that way, and I had the sensation they didn’t like me or at least didn’t understand me. In the bus, they changed my seat and put me next to another girl. On day 5 or 6, during our first night in NYC, they announce the rooms. Surprisingly, I am the only one they change rooms. I told them not to do it, please, as I already knew and got along with the girls. Not that I didn’t like the new roomates, they were fine, but I didn’t like being the only one moved around and suddenly changing my routine. I am quiet, but when pushed over, I’m extremely temperamental. I cried, I yelled at them, I pleaded… I was mad. So they call me after they send everyone to their rooms…

A brief recap:

  1. They threatened with sending me back home, and thus paying the money neither my parents and I had. Why? Because I wasn’t sociable enough!!! Goodness people, I was always on time, I was curious, I talked with people during lunch time (and sometimes during the walks or the bus), I was never behind, I never caused chaos… but I wasn’t sociable enough.

  2. I told them that I was shy but I was trying my best to be sociable, I listed for them all the things I did as a group. They said that was not enough, or that was inventing them because they never saw them. They pointed out all the occassions I refused human contact or wanted time for myself. Why did I eat breakfast alone? Answer: Because the girls I ate breakfast with moved to another table, and I wasn’t going to be following them like a puppy (I didn’t add the last part, though). Why I didn’t let my roomate style my hair? Answer: I’m sure she’s great in doing that, but I didn’t want that that day, later perhaps. Why I didn’t talk with others during lunch? Answer: That’s a lie, I do talk with others during lunch. Etc. I guess they forgot the time when they scolded me for talking during lunch!. They said that everytime I was sociable was because they intervened… The hell!!!

  3. They asked me if I had previously seen a psychologist. If I had mental problems. They cornered me, saying they wanted the best for me. They said I had to be more social, they wouldn’t let me go out of the room. They said if I promised not to change my ways they would send me that same night in a trip back home. By this time I was crying, pleading to be given one more day, just one more day.

They gave me the extra day. I feigned extra sociability, and the rest of the students (bless them, they understood what happened) tried to cheer me up, and told me to stick near them so that they wouldn’t take me home. It worked out… I had been forging some relationships since before the trip started (there was a previous get together) and since the start of the trip, so I eventually was closer to some people than before. But it would have happened to matter what they did to me. Also, we changed from DC (sorry, but I was tired of seeing war memorials and no museums) to NYC (weeeee!!), so of course I liked the place better. Still, at the end of the trip the three witches congratulated themselves and felt all smug and happy that thanks to them.

PD. By the end of the trip I was acting the same way as in the beginning, I don’t know if they gave up or if they finally noticed I was talking to others, but they didn’t pester me again. And I gave them a glowing :wink: review. That night, though, ruined most of the trip for me… scared that I would be sent back home because they didn’t find me sociable enough.

PDPD. Last year I went back to NYC for Spring Break. Loved it even more, since I went with my sister, and instead of spending one hour at the museums, I was able to stay there for 4 hours! Still not a lot but still better!!!

43

This one is correct. Sally told me, Jan and Mara this the day before.

Partially correct. Mara told ME, that morning, when I called her on the phone. (We all lived on the same street, basically. Our neighborhood is very small and we were usually always out and running around). We had not seen Sally and Jan YET. Mara had merely talked to Sally on the phone.

Right.

[/quote]
4) You and Jan and Mara get angry at Sally and call her a liar.
[/quote]

Wrong. MARA gets mad at Sally, because she, Mara, misunderstood. Jan and I did not get mad at Sally. We realized it was never a definite.

I should have been more clear. Sorry. Sally was correct-her mother never really promised us. She just said, “We’ll see.” or whatever. Mara thought she said she’d go definitely. Mara wasn’t lying, but she was mistaken. Sally and Mara got into it over this.
And then Jan and I took Sally’s side.
I think, in the end, I should have stuck up for Mara, not so much because she was telling the truth or not. But because they were really viscious.
And also, Sally was only being friendly with Mara and I after ignoring us for a year. (When the thing with her parents started). So it was sort of a very shaky friendship-we were all trying to forget past fights and be friends.

[quote6) Sally and Jan are the “cool girls”. [/quote]

Well, sort of. They were more “mature” at least, than Mara. Mara still liked to play with Barbies and goof off. Sally and Jan would rather talk about boys, gossip, that sort of thing. I was somewhere in between.

Jan sided with Sally because she was more friendly with her at this time. I sided with Sally, basically, because I really wanted to stay friends. To this day, I guess it’s just one of those stupid petty little arguments. If I could go back in time, and talk to Sally, Jan, Mara AND Past Self, I would have said, “Shut the fuck up, all of you and go play. You’re being stupid.” It was a stupid thing to get into a fight about. (We were always having this little split ups and going onto sides. It was just that this time, we did a really nasty thing). Did you ever have a group of friends like this? Sometimes you’re all friends, sometimes you hate every one of them, sometimes you split up on different sides? It’s all really stupid in the end.

Yes. Basically, who was at fault, in the end, wasn’t really important. The thing was, the letter was the REALLY bad part. I think if we hadn’t sent it, we would have been hanging out together again within a few days. But oh that thing was nasty.

Okay, Sally told us, “Hey, my mom might be able to take us to the pool tomorrow.” Mara misunderstands and thinks she WILL be, as opposed to MIGHT be.

The next day, Mara called her, and asked about it. Sally said, “My mom said she can’t.”

Mara came to my house, and we were talking, and she said, “Sally’s such a liar. She said her mom would take us to the pool, but now she says she won’t.”

I pointed out that she said might, but Mara disagreed. No big deal.

Then, as we are walking to Mara’s house, Sally and Jan come down the street.

Sally said, “Hey Mara-why did you tell me my mom was a liar? You bitch.”

Jan says, “Yeah. Really.”

Mara starts to defend herself, and say, “You told us we could go swimming. We can’t. Your mom lied and so did you.”

Sally, “No, she didn’t. I never said we were going to the pool. You just misunderstood.”

At this point, I KNEW that Mara had misunderstood, but I didn’t agree with her calling Sally a liar. I wanted to say, “Hey, guys, let’s not fight about this.” But I didn’t. I just stood there, and Mara exchanged words with Sally and Jan. Then I stood up and said, to my regret today:

“Mara, shut the hell up. She didn’t say we’d definitely go. Maybe she couldn’t. Fuck off.” Or something like that. Then, I, Sally and Jan began to gang up on MARA. EVEN though it was wrong.

Basically, there’s some confusing history. Also, at the time, Sally’s parents were separated, and her mom was being very lax, and letting Sally do whatever she wanted, etc. Which was so unlike her mother. It was a bad situation, and there’s also some history as far as the four of us went-we were always on and off friends.

The point is, I believe, now, I should have sided with Mara and said, “Guys, chill. She misunderstood.” And then I should have told Mara to chill.

But I didn’t. I ganged up on her and made fun of her with the others. And then I said, to Jan and Sally-“Hey, let’s send Mara a really nasty letter!”

Sally said we should make the envelope look like we were making up. So we did. And on the inside we wrote obscenities harsh enough to make seasoned Pit Dwellers blush. And we all got in trouble. Well, except for Jan-her parents never did ground her. She was just a spoiled brat.

BTW, I think we did become friends again. And then off again. And so on and so on.
(BTW, I’ve changed their names, but their real names are similiar to the fake ones).

44

Guin: Okay, I get it. Sounds like my friends in 4th/5th grade: Barbara, Jill and Christina (real names). Ai-ya.

jackelope and LifeOnWry: What is is about spelling bees that brings out the Mussolini in teachers? I got axed for not repeating the word after I’d spelled it correctly, but it wasn’t a crucial competition. Still. :rolleyes:

Jomo: I’ve had the same feeling of vindication-though-no-one-else-knows-it. Like it’s my fault my dad doesn’t talk to his mom, and therefore doesn’t ask her where I went, instead of jumping to the conclusion that I took off with no permission at all? :wally

lurker: There’s a joke in there somewhere about a “glass ceiling”. Sorry that happened to you.

{{{{{{{{{{KarlGrenze}}}}}}}}} I swear my blood turned to Freon, reading that.

45

When I had just started College at age 18, I also had a job at a local bank. I’m in my early 40’s now.

There was a man working there who took it upon himself to grab my rear end. I complained to my Supervisor and nothing was done. My supervisor said “Joe, did you grab Sharon’s rear end?” and Joe replied “No”. At this point, I had no idea that he had done this to at least one other girl. Her Father had shown up at the bank and threatened to beat him up right before he forbade her to ever return to her job.

As a result of my complaining, this man cornered me in the employee lounge, screamed “Bitch” at me and threw a cup of hot coffee on me. I ran screaming through the crowded bank and Joe denied everything.

So, I write a letter to the Board of Directors of the bank, detailing what took place. Within the space of three days an astronomical amount of “customer” complaints had been lodged against me. All anonymous, of course. When I pointed out obvious inconsistencies (such as I had been wearing pants the day a customer had supposedly complained that “my skirt was too short and I had been sitting with my legs wide open”) and suggested that Joe and his cronies were possibly behind all of this, I was basically blackballed.

The bank had an annual Holiday party every year and the Holiday’s were right around the corner. I was wondering why there was no announcement when someone took a bit of pity on me and told me that everyone had been invited and they had all been instructed NOT to tell me about it by their various Managers.

So, I write another letter to the Board of Directors. The President of the bank shows up at my desk and tells me that he just became aware of the fact that somehow I was left off the list for the Holiday party and will I accept his PERSONAL invitation. Yeah, right.

Long story short, the Board had decided that even though Joe had done this before and would probably do it again, he had a family to support. He had been warned that if any more females complained that he had grabbed them, he would be fired but they did not actually want to do this because he had some sort of disabilty (he had been in an auto accident and this had affected certain motor skills) and a family to support. It was much kinder they felt, to make ME so miserable that I would want to leave, which I did several weeks later. I was told that I was a “troublemaker” of all things, lol.

46

Gah! If he had a family to support, then he should have stopped DOING stuff like that! People will do anything, anything to cover their ass (no pun intended) other than modify their own behavior!

47

I like to think that they instinctively felt imprisoned by their own conformity and were envious of the spiritual and intellectual freedom that my uniqueness afforded me. So they tried to make me suffer like they were suffering for being sheep.
Naw, that’s just me being smug 'cause it takes away the sting.
Thanks for sticking with this thread, Rilch. It’s like geek therapy.

48

Geek therapy, indeed! :slight_smile:

Something happened to me recently that was totally unfair, and I guess this is the thread to spew it all. I can’t dredge up all the details here, but I will try to give a very carefully worded, vague account of it. (sorry! :wink: ) Oh, I’m sure those who know more about my job will be able to (kind of) suspect what this is all about, and that’s OK, but I’m not going to get too specific. Suffice it to say that I’m telling the gist of it here! (rambling ensues…)

It was at my work. I did nothing wrong, but Something Bad happened on my shift. Just one of those things that happens to the best of us at times. (Not that I’m “the best”, but in this case, I was definitely blameless.) I felt absolutely HORRIBLE about it, but knew I was blameless. My bosses knew I was blameless, I never got any grief from them. (Or, if they suspected I was at fault at any time, they never let on. I don’t feel wronged by them.)

But some co-workers were complete bitches about the Bad Thing. They implied (even though they were not there when the Bad Thing happened) that I did it deliberately. Told the bosses this. (I know the bosses ignored them, but other co-workers began to wonder for a while, I am sure.) These gossips told some other people who were effected by the Bad Thing that I was “suspect”. The Other People had enough authority to remove me from a certain position (once again, won’t go into detail) because the gossips put doubt into their minds. I was even asked to take a lie detector because the Other People really felt I’d done something. (Even though the evidence and my own personal record made that seem quite absurd.) I didn’t take the lie detector (my union guy and a policeman friend talked me out of it). My bosses only wanted me to take the lie detector to placate the Other People, not because they personally suspected me. When I refused the matter was dropped. But I freaked out totally and spent many a sleepless night worrying and fussing.

Thankfully, I did not get demoted or lose any priveleges because of being removed from said position, but it was a great blow to me at that time. I liked that certain position. But, I found out later that the gossipy bitches were having to cover the position that they helped get me removed from, and they were very unhappy about it. One gossip even (get this!) complained that I “left them this whole mess”! Imagine! SHE was the one that got me removed, and now she’s bitching about me because I’m not there to help out!! There was one consolation during the worst of this ordeal for me–I heard through the grapvine that the gossipy bitches were absolutely miserable covering the position that they’d gotten me out of. The rest of it stunk horribly, but that was nice.

It’s been a while now and things have settled down. I am in a different position and I like it better. Much better. Actually, I wonder why I liked the position I was (wrongfully) removed from so much. It was kind of sucky. I work with some better people now. But things are not 100%, just better.

Yes, I did complain to the bosses about them, and apparently the bosses did try to make some effort to stop the gossip.

Anyway, the thing that keeps me from really hating and despising the gossipy bitches is that it must be a punishment to be them. To be so shallow and bitter and ignorant. I think part of the reason they gossiped about me (I’d never crossed them or done anything to them) was out of jealousy and bitterness. I am not that enviable of a person, but when you compare me to them, I have a LIFE and they don’t. I have things to look forward to when I get home; I have creative projects, books I’m reading, vacations I’m planning. Not the most exciting of lives, but I’d never trade places with these silly women who must dredge up excitement in their lives by gossiping and spreading lies.

Some people ask me how can I not hate them, but I really don’t. I see how shallow and petty they are, and how they are settling for less in their lives (out of fear or whatever, I don’t know). It’s sad, really.

49

My ex Éric was once working at a movie theatre. A nasty, unpleasant job, with faux company spirit, enforced singing and dancing (!), etc. To top it all off, homophobic supe took a dislike to him.

One day some money turned up missing from the till. So they fired him. They actually told him that they had a video of him all day that proved that he hadn’t stolen anything at all, but they fired him anyway. Oh, of course since he didn’t fucking do it, they were nice enough to list the reason as “no more work” rather than misconduct, so he could file for EI. But still, they trumped up charges they knew and admitted were fake, so they could fire him, because they didn’t like him, because he was queer.

He went into shock, they called an ambulance, he phoned me in tears, and I went to collect him. His boss was there; I could have bitten that smarmy-ass sonofabitch’s head off.

50

I had nearly the same experience with the same word, except it was a British/American English clash (I used the American English spelling, since we had been using it a lot with our Apple IIe computers- she wanted the British spelling).

51

Could be a little of both!

I think in my case, it really started at home. My parents were abusive: bullies, in a way. They broke me; anyone could ride me.

**

Yeah, that’s why I started it, and why I keep coming back! I feel like a counselor!

matt: That’s awful. I’m guessing, from the way you told it, that the supervisor set it up so that Eric couldn’t claim discrimination?

yosemitebabe: Yes, being the way they are is a punishment in itself.

52

I remember in the fifth grade, I used the word mythos extensively in a report I did on mythologies. My teacher told me the word was myths; there was no such word as mythos. She used the fact that it was not in our fifth-grade dictionaries as proof. I pointed to my copy of the D&D handbook Deities And Demigods. She said “Oh, that’s just a word in one of your little games, that doesn’t mean it’s a real word.”

I still don’t know if she was just ignorant or if she was trying to put me in my place.

53

Ignorant. A fifth-grader, or, for that matter, any student who has acquired knowledge on their own, does not need to be “put in their place”.

54

Oooh! Ooooooh!

Another one. When I was in my final year of high school (I was 17 or 18 at the time), we had to write a thesis on a book for our Dutch class. Fairly comprehensive, minimum of 50 pages, detailed analysis of style, metaphores, you name it. It was a project that took up most of the final year.

My Dutch teacher, mr Van Poppel, was an asshole of prehistoric proportions. He flunked out of university, and didn’t obtain a degree. For this he seemed to hate all the students he was teaching: obviously, a lot of them were destined to GET a college degree, making them better than him (I’m trying to use the logic of an insecure git here, I don’t really believe getting a college degree makes one “better” than someone else).

And he didn’t like me, that was for sure. I was one of the top students in my class, and -admittedly- a bit of a smartass. But I was by no means a disruptive student. I engaged teachers in debate a lot, but I was never impolite.

Anyways. As the year proceeds, I’m working on my thesis, analysing Flemish writer Tom Lanoye’s Een Slagerszoon met een Brilletje (“A Butcher’s Son wearing Glasses”). Every month or so, the teacher reviewed everyone’s progress, gave directions, et cetera. I got praise all year, he seemed to love my thesis. Sure, the odd tips and hints here and there, but overall, he was happy with how I progressed. He hinted at how I was “cruising towards a comfortable 8 or perhaps 9”. (FYI: our grading scale is 1 to 10, 6 meaning you pass.)

Uh-huh. It was all a damn scam. When the final versions had been handed in, we were nervously awaiting the verdict in class two weeks later. Names were called, upon which you had to approach the teacher’s desk. He then handed out the thesis, and loudly announced the grade.

So, I’m sitting there waiting while people get their thesis, getting excellent marks, or getting mediocre marks but they passed anyway and it wasn’t like they gave it their best shot. He made me wait until the very last moment, put me on the bottom of the list on purpose.

Teacher: “Jasper, come on up.”

Me: walks up to the desk in anticipation

Teacher: “Here you go. You’ve got a 6.”

Me: “??? A six? What the hell? Why did I get a low grade like that? You told me it would be an 8 at least!”

Teacher: “Well, it could have been an 8, if you didn’t plagiarise half the thing.”

Me: “WHAT??? I didn’t plagiarise anything!”

Teacher: (smugly) “Oh, you most certainly did. It’s a disgrace, really, someone of your intellect just copying off the work of others.”

I walked back, picked up my bag, knocked over my desk and slammed the door behind me with a loud bang. To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. I went home, and discussed the matter with my parents. We decided that we should take this up a level with the school principal: allegations of plariarism are not to be taken lightly, afer all. Especially when the student has been working on a thesis for half a year!

So, a meeting was arranged between the teacher, the principal, and me. During said meeting, the teacher was to demonstrate my plagiarism. I’ll do a few selections off the top of my head.

Teacher: “Well, in this biography that’s in our school library, there is a sentence stating “Tom Lanoye was born into a middle class family in Antwerp in 1955”. Your thesis, on page 4, states “Tom Lanoye was born in Antwerp in 1955”, and a few sentences later, “Lanoye was of a middle class background”. I mean, clearly: you just read that piece and copied it right into your thesis, carefully arranging the words so I wouldn’t notice.”

Me: “Huh? How is that plagiarism? For one thing, we’re talking about biograpical information here, which is static data. No interpretation, no opinion: facts. Obviously, it has to come from some source, and you’ve succesfully found mine. But just how many ways are there to phrase that someone was born in Antwerp, in 1955??”

Principal: “Well, I have to agree with Van Poppel here, Jasper. It sounds like you just copied it word for word.”

Me: “No, it fucking doesn’t. And I’m hardly trying to pass Einstein’s theory of relativity off as my own: it’s biographic information we’re talking about.”

Principal: “There’s no need to be rude.”

Me: “There sure as hell is, if you’re wrongly being accused of plariarism.”

Teacher: “But that wasn’t all I found. Here, in this book review of the work at hand, the journalist describes the book as “morbid”. Oddly enough, the word “morbid” appears 6 times in your thesis, on pages 12, 17, 34, 48, 51, and 63. Surely, you don’t expect me to believe you came up with an obscure word like “morbid” all by yourself?”

Me: “Obscure word? ‘Morbid’? I’m about to enroll in university, and you’re surprised that I know a word like ‘morbid’?”

Teacher: “You were obviously parroting the journalist, Jasper.”

Me: “Ah, fuck off already, the lot of you. I graduated, I’m starting university in 2 months. The two of you will still be stuck here. Some without a decent degree, even.”

I then left the room. Sure, the remark about the teacher’s lack of degree was snide, but the asshole had it coming. The principal later told me he was just covering the teacher’s ass because I had graduated anyway, and he couldn’t stand to lose a teacher over something this trivial. Way to stand up for your principals there - no pun intended.

So all in all, this did very little harm: I graduated with good grades, and enrolled in university. But I’m STILL pissed off that that teacher accused me of plagiarism, and basically got away with it.