The surest way to kill a thread is to be named Lobsang
Nope. there’s a surer way - to be drunk and named Lobsang
I seem to generally be one of those 4-lb lead weights you see on deep-sea trolling lures…
I can’t kill a thread. Man, I don’t know what it is, but every time I post, the Dopers throng to reply. I just can’t help it - they’ll be here in droves now.
People actually get pity posts?
Where do I sign up?
You already did.
Open your thread in Comments on Staff Reports. 
Or you could ahmm… ah… hehe. Post something mundane (not mundane in a cool way, but mundane in a “Explaining how large a football field is to a fellow American” way) that would discourage others from replying.
Man, I was typing a message earlier and before I could post it even, the mod. jumped in and locked it down.
Talk about killing a thread!
(where’s Justhink?)
I bet the surest way to ensure that a thread never dies is to give it a title like “What’s the surest way to kill a thread?”
cuz then it’ll be a contest to see who gets the last word…
(is it me? ooh, I can’t wait to see how this one ends!)
Or when it ends.
photopat ever have that not so fresh feeling?
I can think of three ways not to kill a thread:
Quote Jack Chick as a factual reference in GQ/GD.
Any OP with “The Best” in the title.
Or ask your question.
But as an answer, “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”
The “what’s the most obscure thing you know?” thread, lauded as the “Thread Never Going to Die” was killed by yours truly.
I guess it’s an honor.
OK, here goes - TVGuy is posting to this, so in six months you will be able to do a search and see TVGuy as the last post from 11-16-2002
The surest way to kill a thread is to insult a moderator.
(Uh-uh! Not me. I ain’t no damn fool!)
C’mon! I’m stupid and leadable enough to be persuaded to do some of that stuff! I’ll be yo’ lackey! Jes’ gimme some encouragemernt and I’ll be more’n’happy to jackass meself out for the sake of amusement of the cool Dopers.
Whadayamean by “jackass meself out for the sake of amusement of the cool Dopers”?
A guy walks into a bar… “OUCH!”
(that ought to do it)
a
Thread Killer
Thread Killer Thread killer
The thread is not the only thing that’s gonna get killed here.