In my case it seems like the easiest way is to hit the “reply” button. But maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe dopers really like me. Maybe dopers really do take the time to read my posts. Maybe dopers actually care. About me.
And maybe this will be the last post in this thread…
Here’s the easiest way to kill a thread:
Let’s talk about William Shatner.
(With thanks to MST3K)
I think William Shatner is the greatest actor ever! I think we should start a William Shatner appreciation thread! It would never die off. People would post their favorite William Shatner quotes and anecdotes and, and, and…
Okay, maybe you’re right.
Actually, jovan, I expect this to be the last post in this thread.
Second Guest, Thread Killer
If this was an all-male board it might die pretty quickly. However, with so many wimmins around, one of 'em’s always got to get the last word in.
cricket cricket
[hijack]
Okay folks – it’s time to turn this thread into the:
Carrot Top Appreciation Thread!
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(is it dead yet? 
)
Nope! (last word) Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
Post your funniest Polka anecdote here.
One time, at Polka Band camp…
Actually, the easiest way for a thread to die a fast, lonely death is for me to start it. It doesn’t matter what board it’s on, that thread will get a few pity posts and then drop like a rock.
Have me post in it.
or me
I try to convince myself that thread dies because I’ve answered the OP question so thoroughly, no one else could possibly add anymore!
Hello???
Anybody???
Lingering brainfarts can stink up a thread pretty good too and who wants to smell someone else’s brainfart?
Almost 3 hours to work a fart into this thread…you’re slipping, man… 
Just quote the gross parts of the TMI thread :eek:
Anybody else have a nostalgic fondness for feminine hygiene commercials?
That oughtta do it.
Bribe the hamsters to make it “disappear.”
It’s not enough for me to post in a thread. Rather, I have to put an enormous amount of energy into a long, thought-provoking, well-written, truly meaningful post.
If that won’t kill a thread, the darn thing is immortal.