Wasn’t actually to me, but…
When I was in my early twenties a car almost hit me as I crossed the street and I whined “hell, I had the right of way” My friend said “graveyards are full of people that had the right of way.”
That REALLY made an impression on me.
“Everyone’s fucked up in their own special way.”
“Whatever you are, Saudi Arabia makes it worse.”
“Personally position the machine guns.”
“You might as well be a mensch.”
From an old man I met one Thanksgiving dinner and never saw again:
“The wisest man is the one least set in his views.”
From my mum:
“The best is the enemy of the good” - i.e. sometimes you don’t have to get it perfect, just get it done and move on.
Really useful advice for the workplace - yes, that project plan could be neater and have nicer colours etc, but actually just get it out there so people can start using it.
Another banal one which I heard from various sources but which I really took to heart:
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“No one ever said on their deathbed ‘I wish I’d spent more time in the office’”.
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Sometimes I get hacked off that I have to leave the office when I’m right in the middle of something, to make sure I can get to my daughter’s daycare before 6pm. But that moment when she sees me and *flings *herself at me with the biggest squeal of delight, well that’s better than any spreadsheet you care to mention. 
From my Dad: Make friends with the secretary, receptionist, tea lady and printing room person - they’re the ones that make the organisation work, and if they like you, they will help you.
Too true, and has served me well over the years…
From Grandad:
“You never have to win a fight. Just make the other person believe that, however much he hurts you, you will hurt him more than he is willing to accept. And then you won’t have to fight.”
Shortened by a friend of mine outside a bar when we were surrounded by drunks with violence in mind to the following:
“Villa, we’re going to lose this fight. But we’re gonna come a fucking close second.”
They ran.
Gotta mention two as they were both important and unrelated:
Choose a profession doing what you really enjoy.
Get a second opinion (medical).
When I was complaining about wasting my life:
Northing in life is ever wasted if you can file it away and bring it up when you need it.
From a complete and total stranger:
“LOOK OUT!!!”
Something I read here on this board, in fact, I’m pretty sure it was Cat Whisperer who posted it:
When someone shows you who they are, your job is to see.
My dad only gave me a few words of advise when i started driving, including:
Pick a lane and stay there.
It always feels like the lane next to yours is moving faster, so getting over seems like a good idea and then as soon as you do, the lane stops and the one you were in starts moving. It also helps me stay calm in high-traffic situations. “Pick a lane and stay there,” I say to myself, “Everything is going to be just fine.”
The first time a school classmate of mine died (I had a graduating class of 19, so that was probably more profound for me than for most of you), my father told me that the only way I would ever avoid that kind of pain would be if I never knew anyone. My dad’s not a real eloquent man, but that stuck with me.
“Look out for yourself, nobody else is going to.”
A piece of advice I got once in regards to employment. I think I was fretting about giving notice at my current job to go do something better, and I felt really guilty and was worried about how my boss was going to react. I’ve found that it is appropriate for many other situations as well.
“Never state an opinion as though it were a fact.”
From my Dad, who died when I was 17.
From a friend who responded to the news that she was terminally ill and has since passed away, “but life isn’t fair; life is just life”.
So many people I know spend precious hours shaking their fists and wanting every wrong made right. Life just isn’t like that. You get what you get and do your best.
One of the managers at the grocery store I used to work at:
The most powerful word in the whole world is ‘no’.
It can keep you from taking on something you don’t want to own, it can get you a discount on that next car, it can open negotiations to better your life. You also have the option of the punctuation. Very Rarely do you need to pull out:
No.
Usually you can get by with:
No,
Where the thing after the comma will often let you get things accomplished without creating enemies. ‘No,’ lets people see the importance of your position. If you can say ‘No,’ and help them in their situation, then you get what you need, and you build a little credit for with the Excrement REALLY hits the whirling bladed device.
Mr. Horseshoe: “Sometimes, there IS no right answer.”
(I was fretting at some email from my mother, trying to come up with just the right magical phrasing to make her understand my point of view. Should I be polite? Should I be blunt? He was right: it made no difference. I was killing myself trying to find the best solution, the right answer, when really, there wasn’t one.)