Luggage.
I must have only been about eight years old. All I knew was that for two weeks before Christmas there was a HUGE present under the tree with my name on it. Being eight years old I was very excited about this mysterious and wonderfully huge gift just for ME.
Then I opened it. And it was luggage.
I don’t even remember what I said. All I remember is the sound of my bubble deflating after being burst in such a cruel, cruel way.
I spent Christmas with my sister’s family a few years ago and her MIL gave me a little something that she crocheted. I never could quite figure out what it was and I didn’t have the heart to ask. Half of a toddlers shirt was my best guess…
Sorry, but the guy in the pointy hat (and I must admit they do look like Klansmen) is NOT an Inquisitor (even if you weren’t expecting him). It is probably a likeness of a member of one of the “cofradias” that takes part in one of the processions during Easter (Semana Santa) in Spain. Probably the most famous Easter procession is in Sevilla. You can find more information here.
So, you should commend your parents on getting you a nice Nazareno, which you can now use to impress your friends with your knowledge of Spanish Catholocism. Plus, you learned something new thanks to your little KKK look-alike statue. 
when I was 8, I think, my aunt gave me a pair of pink, corduroy trousers and a pink sweater to go with it.
It looked horrible.
I was made to wear it.
I still shiver when I think back on it.
Since then, I’ve found pink the ugliest colour there is.
i’m a girl, by the way
All my family know that I really hate Christmas decorations–the little knick-knack type things, the tea pot in the shape of a Christmas tree, the crocheted Santa toilet paper cover… Also, I have allergies and avoid scented things. So last year for Christmas my cousin got me two velvet Christmas pillows that are scented.
I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination and yet every year someone in my family gets me something “inspriational”–book, framed print, figurine… Maybe if one of them drove by my place on the first trash day after Christmas, they’d realize I’m not into this stuff.
A friend of mine gave his mom craft kits. Apparently she loves to do different kinds of craft and has tons of things all over the house that are half finished because she never seems to get back to them or she gets tired of them half way through. So, he half finished each one 
I have an aunt who does that plastic needlework crap. My family has received piles of it from her- toilet roll covers, Christmas ornaments, decorated magnets etc.
I can’t compete with any of this stuff. Most of the things I receive are in the good-I-like-it to it’s-nice-but-what-the-hell range. Nothing awful.
Really? Cool. All I know is what I was told. And I don’t have him anymore. He was mysteriously slipped into one of the bags of trash from Christmas and never seen again. Yes, I could’ve kept a little info card handy, I suppose, but I’d rather not live down here and have a guy who looks like a Klansman in my room.
My 17th birthday. Got a snow shovel and long underwear.
I think Dad was trying to tell me something.
My family is pretty good about gifts. This year I asked for a sewing machine. It probably won’t be the only thing I get. But over the years, my mom has gotten amazingly good at finding things I’d like, from clothes to whatever, and she tends to guide my siblings as well.
I’m usually broke or close to it, so people tend to get artwork from me.
The ex boyfriend’s family was terrible. Scented body lotion, earrings (I never change my earrings, ever, and they always match, I have 17 of them for heck’s sake). One year the ex gave me an ugly silk scarf he found in the bottom of the closet in the house he was renting part of. He also gave me money earlier to buy a corset that I wanted, but I don’t understand why he felt the need to give me the scarf at all. Before that he always gave me books of things he thought I should read or use, not necessarily something I’d ever buy of my own volition.
I already got my Giftmas present this year.I found a broken bike outside that someone abandoned, and my room mate is gonna help me clean and fix it up.
I always get exactly what I want for Christmas from my MIL, because she always demands to know exactly what I want. I have tried getting away with, “Oh, anything’s fine,” or just vague hints, but, no, she must have a list of specific items. I can’t even just say I need some mittens, I must tell her what color and style and what store she can find them at. Then she buys everything on the list. If I don’t tell her enough things, she gets all mad, but I’m always worried that I’m going to tell her too many things, and I think it’s just awful that I’m basically dictating to her to spend her money on things I would otherwise just buy for myself. I’d think she was just apprehensive about buying things for me because she doesn’t know me very well, but she does the same thing for my husband. You know, her son?
Lately we’ve just directed her to our Amazon wishlists. I put a bunch of stuff on mine in October and then don’t look at it again until January, so I’m kinda surprised by what I get.
Another mother in law gift…
An “Southwestern Highways” or some such scenic calendar rolled into a tube to contain three grapefruit. Also, a plastic container that in its original life held margarine now filled with a mix of Oreos and jellybeans. At least the calendar was for the next year and usable, if a bit curly.
From blood relatives who aren’t paying attention, I got cologne and two neckties two years ago. I don’t wear cologne. I don’t walk near the cologne/perfume section of stores. I don’t even sit near people wearing cologne. I don’t wear neckties either. Who am I going to impress? The Unix programmers or the ATM Operations staff? 
I thought my anaphalaxis toward cologne and allergy to neckties was pretty well known. At least the department store they bought it from is related at the corporate level to another department store near here, so I was able to exchange the surprisingly expensive gift gaffe for something I could use - a couple new Calphalon pots.
…oh, now, that’s cruel.
I mean, I’m a guy. I’m a father. Me and my kind are the EXPECTED recipients of weird handcrafted stuff the kids made at school. We are the entire market for Soap-On-A-Rope, as far as I can tell. We are the ones the kids get the cologne gift packs for, because no one ever knows what to get us.
But gift-wrapping LUGGAGE for an eight year old child is just cruel, man. Either that, or it demonstrates a complete and total failure to understand the mind of an eight year old… which is nearly as bad as cruelty if one is going to try to get GIFTS for an eight year old…
A few years ago, from a lady I have a rather complicated relationship with- lets call her my step- grandmother, I got a video about line dancing. Not top of the wish list of a desperately- trying-to-be-trendy 18 year old.
Apparently, she was trying to lure me aware from clubs, which she disapproved of, by showing me how great line dancing was. To give her credit, even though I never saw her apart from Christmas time, she normally gave me very thoughtful gifts- things that I was still using years later, which made this one lapse seem like a big disappointment.
Back when I was young and my mum hadn’t quite figured me out yet, I got a few weird presents- like a sewing machine- which would have been great, had I ever shown the least interest in sewing- but I was the girl that once managed to sew my sports skirt to my bed cover whilst trying to sew a badge onto it (still haven’t figured out how I did that…)
This brings back painful memories. When I was about thirteen, my older brother who was about nineteen, bought me a plastic model of the human ear. It had all the structures of the ear in “skintone” plastic, while the outer ear itself was clear so you could see the inner workings. Not something I was looking forward to.
Seriously! What was is filled with – sensible black socks and dishtowels?
Hey, I got the luggage when I was 17 and my reaction was pretty much the same. My 7 year old sister? SHE got the new computer. I got the luggage.
It wasn’t Christmas but I have to tell you my wedding gift story. We had a HUGE wedding. We had to cut the guest list down to 400 to fit everybody in the church so we didn’t want to spend all our reception time opening gifts but had them sent to the house to open later.
I remember opening this gift that was wrapped in butcher paper - you know the stuff you can buy to wrap meat in? It was an ameoba shaped bowl painted green on the inside and yellow on the outside. I checked the card and asked my husband who it was. He almost cried when he realized that it was from this really sweet little old lady he knew who was too old to drive and couldn’t get out to get us a gift, She had obviously found something from her house to wrap for us just so she wouldn’t show up empty handed. We had so many crystal bowls, toasters and towels but this is the one gift that stands out in my mind and we cherish the hideous thing.
Man, agreed on the luggage thing. You don’t gift wrap luggage for a kid, unless you’re about to say something like, “SURPRISE, you’ll need that for our trip to Disney World tomorrow!”
I have an uncle… nice and lovable as all heck, but has a couple of screws loose… and when I was little he bought my brother and me underwear every year. Now, you can’t go wrong with boys’ underwear, at least style-wise, so even though it’s kind of an unexciting gift, my brother was OK… but for some reason, he bought me LADIES’ underwear (I was young and WAY too small for even the smallest ladies’ underwear), and it was satiny and lacy! For an 8-year-old girl! Sexy underwear is just kind of a gross gift to get from your uncle when you’re 8. He’s not a pervert and meant no harm, though.
My mother was not at all appreciative of the Pink Flamingos DVD I got her for Mother’s Day (yes, slightly off topic).
My son’s father gave him a coupon for 75 cents off a box of frosted flakes for his 14th birthday. Last Christmas, he gave him a tin of cheese, which is of course at the top of every 16 year old’s wish list.