Jaws: The Revenge
::shudder::
I saw this turd in the theater back in 1987. Universal Pictures, I want that 90 minutes of my life back.
No, it wasn’t. Highlander II was THE WORST movie ever made. By a wide, wide margin.
You mean to was worse than Highlander:Endgame?
I find that rather hard to believe! :eek:
Moment by Moment
the horror…the horror
Mission Impossible made me want to poke my eyeballs out. Over-directed, over-acted, over-scripted, under-thought piece of crap. Ptui!
Thankfully, my “Tom Cruise Early Warning System” saved me from this (and its’ sequel).
Come to think of it, Mr. Blue Sky, I don’t think I’ve seen a Cruise film since then, so maybe I’ve developed one of those T.C.E.W.S.'s.
Oh, no, wait. I take that back. I saw Eyes Wide Shut. Eh. Didn’t particularly like it, but it didn’t offend me either. Think I’ll avoid Minority Report, though, which just sounds silly.
Dragnet rocks. The worst movie I ever saw, by far, is one most of you never heard of: The Slugger’s Wife . Screenplay by Neil Simon. So how could it be bad?, you ask. That’s what I thought, and so I went to see it–in the theatre, about 15 years ago (Plus, I’m a total sucker for a baseball movie–pretty much any baseball movie.) Astonishingly, I think it’s available on video (not that I’m encouraging anyone to see it). I probably would have forgotten about it, except that a few years ago my kids asked me the same question as the OP. I felt they deserved a thoughtful response (just like when they asked if bears have tails, if Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman, and if San Francisco 49er sheets are available in king size). Accordingly, having pondered the question for a while, I now have the answer on the tip of my tongue anytime I’m asked. No question about it: The Slugger’s Wife
The Pest-just horrible, the only movie I considered walking out of. I was there with a girl friend (now ex) and was appalled at how bad it was.
Lost Souls.
Horrible. Simply horrible. I watched Left Behind immediately before it, and found that the more entertaining of the two.
The Horror at Party Beach
Though I stick by Nothing But Trouble as the absolute worst, I’ll also say that the only time I’ve ever fallen asleep in a theater was watching Get Shorty. And it was on a first date with a girl I’d liked for some time too, so I had extra incentive to at least stay awake for the thing – but it was so lame I couldn’t help it. Lotsa folks liked it though…
It’s not exactly a blockbuster, but I saw a little foreign flic called “Hundstage” (Dog Days) at a festival last year.
There. Are. No. Wrods.
Well, asll right, there are. I wrote a review of it at imdb.com. Honestly, though, if I ever see its writer/director on the street, I’ll reach for the nearest blunt object. Then, in court, I’ll show this film as my defense, and, no doubt, get off scot free, and perhaps with some kind of bronze bust or medal from the mayor.
I would rather light myself on fire than subject myself to Julia Roberts’ Dying Young again.
I’d like to piss on the only remaining copy of Armageddon, but it would be a waste of my urine.
But I would be willing to take a nice, long diarrheal dump on Broderick’s Godzilla.
Maybe take Police Academy and add any number to the end. But those types of movies are not really supposed to be good, just have a certain appeal. Of movies that were trying for good and cruelly missed their mark, two that just didn’t work for me were Beyond Rangoon and Out of Africa. The former has Patricia Arquette in what I felt was one of the worst ever performances. The latter was just pretensious and long winded.
I presume that porn flicks don’t count.
Not that I’m a big porn fan, but I’ve seen a few. There was one that startled me because it scaled the heights of mediocrity.
Almost had a plot. The acting was nearly believable. Good music. Nice cinematography.
I have no idea what the title was.
Anyway, my vote for “worst” is every other film of that genre I’ve ever seen.
Not that this critique will get any respect here or anything.
Otherwise, anything starring Arnold Swastika-whats-his-name surely must be on the “worst list.”
Peace,
TN*hippie
Most of the time, I walk away when I’m watching a bad movie. Pretty easy, since I rent 90% of the movies I watch.
Movies I took extended breaks from in the theatre? Pet Semetary and Planet of the Apes, the new one. I just wouldn’t make it. I started wondering what was happening in the lobby. I thought that deep enlightenment might come from the popcorn maker, and it was worth investigating.
Rentals? I made it through five minutes of Dr. T and the Women. My husband made it a half hour or so, before he started doing dishes out of boredom. My sister, the trooper that she is, made it all the way through, desperately hoping it would get better. It didn’t. She’s still upset about the two hours she’ll never get back.
Hudson Hawk. My ex-husband’s favourite movie. Ask me again why he’s my ex.
I’m sure I have tons more buried in the back of my brain. Damn The Movie Critic site for going down. I remember rating a lot of movies I’d forgotten I had ever seen.
Most of the time, I walk away when I’m watching a bad movie. Pretty easy, since I rent 90% of the movies I watch.
Movies I took extended breaks from in the theatre? Pet Semetary and Planet of the Apes, the new one. I just wouldn’t make it. I started wondering what was happening in the lobby. I thought that deep enlightenment might come from the popcorn maker, and it was worth investigating.
Rentals? I made it through five minutes of Dr. T and the Women. My husband made it a half hour or so, before he started doing dishes out of boredom. My sister, the trooper that she is, made it all the way through, desperately hoping it would get better. It didn’t. She’s still upset about the two hours she’ll never get back.
Hudson Hawk. My ex-husband’s favourite movie. Ask me again why he’s my ex.
I’m sure I have tons more buried in the back of my brain. Damn The Movie Critic site for going down. I remember rating a lot of movies I’d forgotten I had ever seen.
You are all lightweights.
Most of the movies y’all list are sad, sure. Below average, certainly. Not enjoyable, definitely. But they’re not awful, not truly wretched, not so ineptly done from opening fanfare to closing credits that you gnash your teeth, rend your garments, and question the very existence of God. Cripes, even Freddy Got Fingered has one laugh in it. (To spare your having to watch the movie for it, I’ll give it away here: near the finale, when you’re somewhere between bored and suicidal, there’s a shot of a crowd at an airport. One person in the crowd is holding a sign that says, “When is this movie going to end!?” That’s the only laugh.)
I have seen the worst of the worst, and its name is Glen Or Glenda?, a labor of love for the colossally untalented Edward D. Wood Jr. Until you too have seen a movie where buffalo stampede across the screen in an overlay shot on top of a shot of Bela Lugosi shrieking, “Pull the string!”, you have not gazed into the abyss.
But, see, here’s the trouble with picking a “worst movie”: some bad movies are so bad they’re good. Meaning, they’re just so darn goofy that you have to laugh at them. In which case, you’re actually enjoying them, despite their badness. The very worst movie of all will not merely be inept, it will be boring. You have to keep that in mind, or it ain’t really the worst of the worst.
What, no mention of Battlefield Earth?
(And I actually had the dubious honor of sitting through Dr. T and the Women in a theater. My wife would pay $10 to see Richard Gere read the phone book…)