Darkman.
It was billed as a modern film noir. What it was, was a load of crap. How can you talk with no lips?
I didn’t even see this thread when I responded to the other one, but it merits repeating if I can prevent even one innocent soul from being exposed to Klippendorf’s Tribe. Richard Dreyfuss must have been really strapped for cash to make that piece of crap.
Three come to mind, from the days when I went to the movies much more often:
Reds, with Warren Beatty. The last movie I remember seeing that actually had an intermission because it was so damn long.
Alan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold. Richard Chamberlain stooped to making this ridiculously bad 3D movie. They were so hard pressed to come up with action worth wearing the glasses for that they did 3D shots of Alan passing coils of rope to his lady companion, for God’s sake.
The Island of Dr. Moreau - The remake with Michael York. Kind of disappointing to me, because I really like Michael York a lot.
One of the few movies I’ve paid for and walked out of is the Paul Mazursky opus for Jill Clayburgh, An Unmarried Woman.
Oh, poor baby. Your hubby leaves you. After about six days you end up with not only a warm, caring, sensitive new mate (Alan Bates), but one who also happens to be a Big Famous Artist (dumping buckets of paint onto canvases) with a 50,000 square foot studio in SoHo AND independently wealthy, too!
Bugs the shit out of me that everyone calls this a modern classic, oh so intelligent and sensitive and caring and truthful.
Fucking Jill Clayburgh character is a Vassar graduate with a hip NYC art gallery job, a glorious apartment (both before and after separation from spouse), a perfect daughter, and as soon as her marriage sours she has men FIGHTING OVER HER.
I remember walking out at the point where she’s playing the piano with her daughter and they both’re singing “Maybe I’m Amazed.” I was ready to puke at that point.
“Star Wars IV” (or I depending on yer point of view). They shoulda checked IDs at the door and kept out anybody over the age of 12. Dumb story, bad acting, no humor, annoying characters and utterly overdone special effects. Bleah.
Well…
The Haunting
The Thin Red Line
Universal Soldier 2 (I was even expecting the movie to suck. I went and saw it for the cheese factor. It was simply awful)
Eyes Wide Shut
Natural Born Killers
Crappy movies all.
Without question, hands down, absolutely no contest: Color of Night with Bruce Willis and Jane March. Easily the worst movie I have ever seen, and that includes B movies, straight-to-video, etc. I saw it at the drive-in theater in Jefferson, WI and it ruined the whole drive-in experience for me.
“The Fan” with Robert DeNiro
“The Haunting” (" AAAAh must thave da children!" DIE ALREADY, you UGLY BITCH!)
“The Specialist” with Sly Stallone and Sharon Stone. 0 + 0=ZERO!
“Zapped!” with Scott Baio.
I was in tenth grade, if that excuse absolves
me of anything.
And I walked out on it.
blushes
“Children of the Corn II”. Though we did get into throwing Milk Duds and popcorn at various actors each time they’d appear in a scene.
“JFK” was pretty bad too. My butt actually fell asleep during this movie.
“Blair Witch” - my folks were watching our son, so we had our annual date night - and wasted it with this crap.
–tygre, who has to take the kids to Pokemon II next week - wish me luck!
“Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot”
I lived in a small town in Wyoming, and it only had one movie theater. There was little else to do, so we often went to see whatever movie was playing at that time.
You see, this is my excuse for seeing this movie that most people probably knew was awful without having to actually sit through it. Even the title was stupid.
Mortal Thoughts starring Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. This was early 90’s and Mr. Sunshine and I went to see it at the dollar movies. But when we got to the booth to buy tickets, nobody was there to sell them. We waited around a few minutes and then just went inside, thinking maybe the person was at the concession stand or something. But nobody was inside, either. Nobody was anywhere. No employees, no other moviegoers. So we looked at eachother and said, “Well, it’s only $1. Let’s just go see the movie.” (We were only 17 at the time, forgive us.)
Anyway, we went in and were the only people sitting in the theatre. The movie started, so obviously there was at least one employee in residence. When the darn thing was over, we sat there for a minute…and then I said, “If we had paid for that movie, I’d go ask for our money back. Too bad they can’t give us 2 hours of our lives back!”
So even though we technically didn’t pay for the movie, we were willing to before we saw it. To this day we consider it the worst movie ever. Battlefield Earth was better, and that’s saying something, considering how horrible BE was.
A lot of my favorite Bad flics have been mentioned. The Bo Derek “Tarzan” (An ambulatory Playboy pictorial). “Battlefield Earth”. “The Fifth Element” (Now, since "Sixth Sense is out, Bruce Willis has to make a movie with “Seven” in the title), “Waterworld”.
I know I’m going to catch grief for this, but the ONLY mvie I’ve ever fallen asleep during was “My Dinner with Andre”. It was boring.
Soldier, with Kurt Russel. My buddy fell asleep, I was in awe of just how bad a movie it was.
Instinct, with Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding, Jr. The previews showed it as an exciting action thriller…it was anything but.
I take it you mean the one that came out in 1999.
There’s Something About Mary - I owed my wife 10 turns of movie picking after we saw this dreck.
Billy Jack - Maybe I was just too young, but it was pointless to me.
Star Trek V - And I’m a Trekkie! They should just let Shatner walk instead of letting him write, direct, and star in a movie. He may’ve been a good actor at one time (Brothers Karamazov), but after he got type-cast…
Man Trouble - Jack Nicholson and Ellen Barkin flop
Batman And Robin. I still get physically ill at the thought that I actually spent money to see this tripe.
Supernova. Ick.
From the mind of Michael Crichton:
Congo. No comment.
Sphere. As I walked out of the theater (I stayed until the end, regrettably), my only thought was, “So?”
Jurassic Park. Good special effects do not a good movie make…
Oh my, how I’ve wasted my life…
Anybody ever see “WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY”? I was actually hoping that Richard Dreyfus would die quickly in this one!
Twister
“Hey look, there’s a tornado - let’s get closer!”
WHOOOOOOSH!
“Oh, no, we almost got killed by a tornado!”
(pause)
“Hey look, there’s another tornado - let’s get closer!”
WHOOOOOOOOSH
“Oh, no, we almost got killed by a tornado!”
(pause)
“Hey look, there’s another tornado - let’s get closer!”
repeat until sick
Eye of the Beholder and Showgirls. If extensive nudity can’t save a movie, nothing can.
I have a friend who walked out on Schindler’s List saying that it was the most boring movie they had ever seen. It’s my all-time favorite. To each his/her own, I guess.
The worst movie I paid for was, without a doubt, Escape From LA.
I didn’t pay to see these, a friend who had a friend who managed a theater got us in to see them for free, but that didn’t make them any more likable: Showgirls, and Se7en. The truly agonizing part was Showgirls was rated NC-17 so, as I understand it, they could show whatever they want. So was there any male full frontal nudity?? Noooooooo, I had to wait until Se7en to see that, and then it was on a corpse! Bleah 