What's wrong with new or different names?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I don’t want to Pit this, since I am really, genuinly curious. This is inspired by a couple of recent threads in which some posters mention names they are considering for their children, and the disgust they seemed to be greeted with.

This is the thing: there are so many children now with “new” or “different” sounding names. I personally grew up with a Starr, an Orly (Orlando), several hundred spellings of Crystals, Kathleens, or Christinas, all kinds of new and unusual names. My name is uncommon, and I had an old lady say to me, upon hearing my name: “Oh, you poor dear!” WHY? No one bothered me about it, or the other kids with unusual names. I wonder if it’s just because I’m from a younger generation? Most of us as kids, we didn’t care.

Personally, I think it’s great that we’re finally getting some new names into the world, some new identities. Sure, some of the names are trendy, but trends appear in every generation. Big deal. As for common names with new spellings, what the heck? No matter how common your name may be, there will always, always, ALWAYS be people misspelling it. (Check out this thread in the Pit.

Honestly and humbly, I am asking: why is everyone so afraid of change? Why the ridiculous threats of “Oh, your kid will be made fun of!” or “Oh, that name is so stupid!” Is it really the kids? Or is it, perhaps, the adults? If you teach your children tolerance, they won’t bug others. Of course there will always be the bullies who pick on others for whatever reason they can find, but if it’s not their name, it will just be something else. In my very humble little opinion, I think it is the adults who are the bullies.

Why not let the creativity flow? I’m not giving my kid any common name - considering my child’s last name will be one of the top twenty most popular names in the US today, why should I name him or her after half a million other people? Honestly, what is wrong with new possibilities? If my child doesn’t like it, they are welcome to change it one day. My parents gave me that option, but I never took it. I like my name and I like who I am, and people in my generation often compliment me on it, even when I was a child. I grew up in a very, very small town, and now I’ve moved to Seattle, and I hear lots of new and unusual names, and not many complaints about it. New babies are being born here everyday with beautiful new names.

So honestly, what is your genuine beef with new names? I ask this in all sincerity. I’m truly confused :confused: :confused: :confused:

2

(Apologies for any misspellings or grammatical errors, it’s quite late and I should be in bed, but by God, I had to go out and get myself a Slurpee. This does not help the brain function. Or the waistline, for that matter.)

3

sigh One last thing before I get to bed. I didn’t Pit this because I didn’t want to be called an idiot for my opinion - so I just want to get this completely straight: Don’t treat me as though I can not or will not ever change my mind. :slight_smile: I ask for others opinions because *I want to see * better. So don’t attack me, enlighten me :wink:

(I say this because some people seem pretty… well, vehement about the subject, though I don’t know why, and feel the need to condescened people who have a different opinion. I won’t respond to those people)

4

Well, Anastasaeon is quite unusual. I know the position you’re in, though. All the kids at school used to tease me for being called Atticus.

5

Well, dear, you obviously didn’t read the whole thread. Why not?, you ask. One word:

Hummer.

I rest my case. :smiley:

6

Several years ago, I read about a study that showed that boys with unusual names recieved lower grades than boys with common names or girls with either type of name. People have perceptions of names that - be it ever so unfair - can colour their judgement when they’re dealing with someone by that name. If you don’t believe that perceptions of names are that widespread, try checking out some samples on BabyNamer.com - Bertha is thought of as “ugly, fat, evil”, Tiffany is “a bimbo, a dumb teenage girl, an airhead”, the boy’s name Ashley is slammed as being for a girl (“I’ve never heard of Ashley for a boy”, “The poor kid whose name is Ashley! It’s a girl’s name”), Ralph reminds people of vomit and one reviewer for Britney says “I would rather walk on hot coals than call my daughter Britney. I feel that people would automatically assume she was stupid, untalented and promiscuous.” People have strong opinons and prejudices about names.

Some of my major gripes with “new” names:

  1. Spelling an old name in a new way doesn’t not make a new name. It makes life confusing and difficult for everyone especially the child, but it doesn’t make the child “special” or “unique”. I hate misspelt words, and I hate misspelt names. I don’t care if it was done intentionally, it makes me think less of the namer’s intelligence. An example is a birth notice I saw once for “Perseffany” - it’s possible that the parents just wanted a phonetic name, but to me it looks like they didn’t know how Persephone should be spelt.
  2. Giving boy’s names to girls is just wrong in so many ways. Mostly I am annoyed that it eventually ruins the name for boys. Also, I hate seeing girls with names that end in -son or begin with Mc-. They both mean “son of”.
  3. Names have fashions like anything else. You give your child a trendy name, you date that child. The names that we consider “old ladyish” now - Mavis, Gertrude, Marjorie - were the popular and trendy names of their day.
  4. Look at your parents and try to imagine calling them Axle or Ebbonii or whatever the trendy name of the day is. It might sound cute on a three year old but the name you give your child will follow them for the rest of their lives. Don’t you think Emmaleigh looks a little odd on a 50 year old woman? Do you think Hadley is a good name for a grandparent? Would you see a doctor named Wattle (I saw that name in the birth notices yesterday)? Would you vote for a man named Precious?
  5. What’s wrong with a good, solid name that’s been around for generations? Obviously if it’s lasted so long, it works. James, Thomas, William, Joan, Margaret, Sarah - these names have history, have served millions of people well and are instantly recognisable as names of people. Everyone knows how to spell them and say them (well, allowing for some variations…), they have established nicknames that may be used if you’re so inclined and they’re just nice names.
7

When I see these new “trendy” names, spellings, whatever, I get the same impression that I do when people pierce their infants ears or when celebrities parade their children around in designer duds- that the kid is just functioning as an “accessory” for the parents… like, a “look how trendy we are!” sort of thing. If you want to show the world how unique you are, fine. Paint your car pink. Wear a cape. Pave your driveway with beer bottles. But don’t make your baby an extension of that attitude.

8

Well, there’s a difference between a name that’s unusual and a name that’s totally stupid. More often than not, when a parent wants a “modern” or “unique” name for their kid, what they’re suggesting falls into the “totally stupid” category. And sometimes, in the rush to be “unique” parents wind up sticking their kid with a name that’s unusual and popular (which is why a kindergarten class can have two Kaitlynnes, or a boy and a girl MacKenzie), which defeats the purpose of the unusual name. If you feared your kid being one of two Michaels, what happens when he turns out to be one of two Xaviers? He’ll be picked on and still have to put his last initial on all his spelling assignments.

I think the trick to picking a unique name for your kid is picking something that was popular in the not-too-distant past, but isn’t popular now. For instance, a girl’s name I like a lot is Linda. It’s unusual in that nobody under forty has that name, but it’s not old-ladyish either, and everyone can pronounce it. I also like the names Trudy (yes, I know the long form is Gertrude which is an old-maid name, but the diminutive is nice) and Justine, for the same reasons. (Boys’ names are a lot tougher to come up with.) I agree that picking something really common is almost as bad as giving a kid a weird name, but you don’t have to be weird to be unique. There are hundreds of uncommon names that will sound fresh without a spelling or gender change.

9

Actually, the trick to picking a unique name is simply to move to where everyone is of a completely different culture than yours, and give your kid a perfectly ordinary name from your home culture. That’s what my father did, and there wasn’t a soul with an even remotely similar name for miles around. And now, I can name my kid “John” and feel confident that there won’t be a single kid in his school with the same name.

'course, that won’t guarantee he doesn’t get picked on. Or that anyone will be able to pronounce it. But you can’t have everything.

10

I want to thank you for your civil responses. Particularly what cazzle posted. I have to sit back and wonder if I’m a little biased, since I knew so many people growing up with “unusual” names (I knew five male Ashleys, and one female Ashley - no one was picked on for it. One of my uncles, a very intelligent man, was named Precious Roy. He was well respected despite the odd name - let me confess, though, even I think that is weird, weird name. I might vote for a guy with that name, though, if I liked his ideas. But maybe that’s just me). I understand that there are associations with names that are unfair, but they do, of course, exist. My parents wanted to shorten my name, Anastasia, to Stacie, but I… well, I didn’t think too highly of it, and I use my full name today to sound more “mature”. That’s just it, though: it’s a fact of life. Where I’m from, “Mary” means “tramp” (because anyone given a religious name supposedly goes against all religion), all Peters are dicks (I can’t make this crap up!) there are more, but they are ridiculous. Because all stereotypes are ridiculous. They exist, and that’s sad, but true.

I want to get something straight, though, as I think I was too vague in my first post: I’m not talking about those weird names that are so strange they border cruelty. And I, personally, will never give my child a “trendy” name - I just wanted to point out that it’s unstoppable, though that is an obviousity, I suppose. Spelling… ehhhh, for me it really depends. If it looks like something a kindergartner wrote, then no. If it looks acceptable as an alternate spelling (in the same sense that there are "Sara"s and "Sarah"s) then I might consider it.

I guess in the end I can’t have it both ways. I’m kind of in the middle on the whole thing. I say “What’s wrong with unusual?” but then “Well, not TOO unusual.”

Old names are fine, and I have nothing against them, but I don’t plan on naming my child an old name. I’d like to find something new that could become a classic - anyone know what I mean? You know, without naming my kid Guppy or Doughnut or Pilsbury or Pepperjack. (It’s late, folks). I had a neighbour who had a beautiful little girl with a name I’d never heard before: Demika (dem-MEE-ka). It didn’t sound like a misspelling, or an object, but it was new, unusual, and interesting. Maybe it really is an old, existing name, but I’d never heard it. I wouldn’t name my child that, personally, but I liked the idea. It was a name. It stood on it’s own.

I should have gone to bed a couple of hours ago… I apologise once again if I’m making very little sense. I’ll give it another go in the morning. Thanks again for giving me something to mull over.

Oh, and Mr. Finch? How are the kids, Jem and Scout, doing? Do they suffer as much as you have? :wink:

11

Anastasaeon, I’d like to add that my taste in names does go both ways - old and new - but that I tend to prefer the less extreme of both. My favourite girls name is Alanna, which is not traditional, can be spelt a number of ways and has a couple of different pronouciations.

12

I couldn’t agree more with this. Isn’t it rather insulting to children to suggest that the only way they can be unique is by having a misspelt name?

So you object to ‘Alison’?

13

I think cazzle chose a lot of good reasons. A name that’s new is one thing. A name that’s deliberately trendy is irritating. It reads as a failed attempt to be unique, or an attempt to be unique like everybody else. Blech.

As somebody who has a name that is often a surname for a first name, I think there are real limits to how far that trend can go, and it’s gone much too far.

14

Oh, and my own personal gripe - people who decide to go back to their roots and give their children celtic names, but don’t bother to find out the correct pronunciation. :mad:

15

My first name is generally considered a girls name. It’s not even a very common girls name. I still get letters and stuff address to Ms. China Guy. My entire life I use my middle name and first initial. It’s a pain in the ass, and become more so in the computer age where an awful lot of "official’ shit is first name middle initial.

I got teased about my first name a lot growing up. I refered to teaser as “asshole” or something else, and had my first trip to the principals office in 2nd or 3rd grade because of this. I survived but my parents could have been a bit more thoughtful and not used it as my first name.

If you want to inflict an unusual name on a child, I strongly believe it should be the middle name.

Now I’m in the driving seat. First daughter is Jacqueline, buns two and three due in January are likely to be Audrey and Serena. Middle names will be Chinese.

16

Giving your offspring an unusual name tends to be attention drawing. The more unusual and made-up, the more it screams “Look at me! I’m extra-special, unique and extraordinary!” In general people don’t like those who feel a need to proclaim how special they are. If you’re a particularly unique person it’s up to everyone else to decide that, not you. They also strongly suspect that Ms/Mr Special-Name thinks they’re better than everyone else with their boring, everyday names.

It’s unfair, it’s prejudice and it would be your parents who are to blame. But that’s how it goes. Give your child a made-up, unique name if you want people to take an almost immediate dislike to them when they’re introduced.

17

Lady Chance and I both have unusual names. Not bizarro ones but ones that are either outdated (such as it is) or at least not in wide currency for our demographic (mine, for example, is vanishingly rare for a white middle class male of my age while much more common for black middle class males).

And we both like that. The two girls we have both had names chosen for that angle. Established names that have fallen out of currnecy for one reason or another.

The older one is Kathleen called Kate. You’d be surprised how few actual Kates there are out there. Tons of Caitlins and such but few Kates.

The younger one is Gwendolyn called Gwen. Suits us and is unusual enough to stand out.

Oh, and we use the supreme court test. That is, will a future President when considered nominations for the Supreme Court think “Hmm…I just can’t see nominating a Supreme Court Justice named ‘Vernenstein’. I better go with that Kate chick instead.”

And no kidding. We know an adult named Vernenstein. Poor woman.

18

I absolutely hate trendy names like Madison, Brittney, Jayden, etc. All it really says to me is 'Hey, my kid was born between 1995 and 2005 and I wanted him/her to have the same name as everyone else!".

My cousin named her daughter Destiny. I’m doing everything in my power to make sure the kid doesn’t grow up to be a stripper.

One thing that does kind of bug me is how an older name is suddenly trendy again - the Avas, Emmas, etc. We’d originally wanted Ava for our first daughter (see user name), and now it’s way too high on the popularity list. We wanted it because it goes well with our very German last name, and because it was less popular, but still a very pretty, traditional name. Now it’s something like #40 on the name charts. So Ava’s probably going to be passed up. Miranda is high on the list since it’s at about #150, but my worry is that it’ll fly up the charts before we decide to have our first kid next year. Anastasia is actually on my list, but not my husband’s - he thinks the kid’ll get beaten up. I’m still working on that one - did you get a ton of flack as a kid for being named Anastasia? (I love the name because I’m a history buff, and read everything I can get my hands on that’s about the Romanovs).

Boys’ names are easier in that neither of us likes ANY trendy/misspelt boys’ names. We’re leaning towards Malcolm right now - not popular at all, but definitely a nice name. Atticus is on the list because To Kill A Mockingbird is one of my favorite books. My husband may scratch Atticus when we actually have to make a decision, but right now, he actually likes it somewhat.

I’ve noticed a tendency for lower-income folks to give their babies the trendier/badly-spelled/unique names. Those are the Destinys, the Cadens, the Britneys when I see them. My friends, who are probably mid-middle-class, have the Jonathans, the Jacks, the Elizabeths and Emmas.

Ava

19

Me too. I griped in the other thread about people pronouncing “Caitlin” wrong, but that battle’s been lost as I read recently that “Kaitlyn” and variants thereof, such as “KateLynn”, was the most popular girls name in at least one year of the 1990s. I wonder if there are any Caitlins outside of Ireland these days that are actually pronounced the way nature intended…

Talking of KateLynns, that’s another pet hate of mine. DumbCaps. Putting stuPid capital letters in the middle of names is bad enough for companies and software products. But labelling a child with a name like LaPrecious or DelRoy or ChyldeBennéfitt is just mean. They will sound like Sarah Jessica Parker in LA Story every time they have to spell it out: “Big S, little a, little n big D, little e, big E… and a star!” :smack:

20

I always associate “Britney” with the 1980s. All the “Britneys” I grew up with were stuck up snobs that found glee in making life hell for the unpopular kids.

My first name is Erin. You wouldn’t think that would give me many problems, but I always have to spell out my name because people will always spell it “Aaron”. I almost wanted to change my name to “Stephanie” (my middle name) when I went to a new school in second grade, but to me now, Stephanie is also too 1980s and I’m glad I never went through with it (forgot about it when I registered).