Well, the big day is almost upon us. Mrs Lizardo and I are prepearing for the imminent arrival of not just one but TWO little Red Lectroids! I know there have been a lot of parenting threads in many of the forums, but I thought I’d ask people to condense the benefit of their accumulated years of experience and share what you’ve learned. Twin-specific information is also much appreciated. Thanks!
DON’T PANIC !
Your kid(s) is gonna fall of the bed or down the stairs at some point - this does not make you a bad parent
When you are up in the middle of the night and can’t remember the last time you had a good nights sleep you will wonder if you did the right thing becoming parents - you did - everybody gets low when they are short of sleep
Remember that no matter how it feels, you are not the worst parent in the world, all other new parents are just as clueless as you
Croup - all parents know the sound, it can be frightening - fill the room with steam it works wonders
Enjoy it
Congratulations
Routines prevent nervous breakdowns.
Clutter contributes to nervous breakdowns.
The first six months = the endurance test
Eat well. Get your immune system in gear. Exercise and stay fit. This is preventative medicine. Stress will soon make you vulnerable to disease/illness. You’ve been warned.
Do not lock the children in a bubble, but expose them to the world.
If you have seven dozen of "X’ on hand and you have money for four dozen more, go get four dozen more right now and put them in both cars, briefcases and handbags.
It is all right to be afraid and to have doubt. We all do. Just know you and your babies will be fine.
The first few months are rough. No way around that. It will end and suddenly it gets easier. Until that time…Try to be nice to each other and be supportive.
Sleep now. You won’t for a while. Food network is on until around 4am. Why not learn to cook since your going to be up anyway.
You may get LOTS of advice. Follow your head and your heart. You will know what is best for your babies and your family.
Believe it or not they only stay that tiny and needy for such a short time. Enjoy it.
Congratulations!!! I wish only the best for you all!!
Sleep when the babie sleep - seriously. Sleep whenever you can, the chances will be few and far between.
Don’t feel guilty about getting someone to watch the kids for a night once in a while. You’ll flip if you don’t get SOME break from them.
Remember IT WILL GET BETTER! You just gotta ride it out for the first few months.
Don’t feel compelled to go out and buy warehouses full of baby stuff. With babies as with most other things, less is more.
Get real live face-to-breast nursing support. Twins are tough, but don’t believe that having mulitples excludes you from exclusive breastfeeding.
Have fun, damnit!
Be nice to your wife. She might not be nice to you all of the time, but be extra nice to her.
Don’t listen to half of the stuff people are going to say to you. You’ll get a lot of, “I can’t believe you do that! I never did that with my kids!” In one ear, out the other. Do what feels right to you and your wife and don’t worry about what other parents are doing.
Someone’s mentioned it already, but it bears repeating; Sneak away to spend time with each other. Your children will not be scarred for life if you leave them with Grandma for an evening. There’s a good chance you might go insane if you don’t. I don’t have twins (just one little guy), but you’ll need a break. Also, take alone time for yourself and be sure to give your wife plenty of opportunities to take her own alone time.
Please don’t dress them the same all of the time. 
Be nice to your wife. She might not be nice to you all of the time, but be extra nice to her. (Sorry, I just had to say that one more time.)
Your friends/family will be there to help you. If they ask if their is anything they can do for you, don’t be shy - tell them.
When my cousin had twins, we went to visit. She had dishes piled up to the ceiling. It wasn’t because she was a bad housekeeper, it was because she didn’t have a chance to do them. One baby is a lot of work, two babies is an amazing amount of work. They didn’t sleep at the same time so she was always busy with one of them. We brought take out, and after we ate, I started doing dishes. She told me I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. My mom was rocking one baby, my dad was holding another and my cousin fell asleep on the couch. She said that was one of the best visits she had. This was before I had kids, but boy, do I appreciate all the help I got.
–Think about which of your friends have kids that you like and a lifestyle that you admire. Ask THEIR advice. They’re the ones most likely to give you advice that is suitable for your particular needs.
–When your wife is nursing, bring her a glass of water. First, she needs it. Second, it will help with the psychological aspect of nursing. Third, it will make her feel good and love you even more! Remeber–sippy cups aren’t just for toddlers. If she’s nursing in bed, a spill-proof sippy cup will enable her to get the fluids she needs without worrying about spilling.
–It gets easier. Hang in there.
I’m with Silver Fire. Be nice to your wife. A lot of new mothers feel disconnected and overshadowed by the new arrival, contributing to the onset of postpartum depression. Don’t try to do everything yourself, because you’ll end up getting overly exhausted, and she will need the practice just as much as you. But make sure that her physical and emotional needs are well tended to.
Put a CD player next to the crib(s), and put some soft music on repeat whenever they are sleeping. And remember that keeping the house silent all the time when they’re sleeping is effectively training them to be light sleepers. Make noise. Talk on the phone. Get them used to it.
I also agree about not oversterilizing their enviroment. At some point in time, they *will * be going outside and eating dirt. Oversterilization retards the natural development of the immune system.
And do remember to relax and not panic. BTW, congratulations!!
Excellent advice!
Love those babies - the time will fly. Enjoy each and every stage of their lives. Each stage comes with its difficulties, but it is also full of incredible, unforgettable moments. Enjoy the little things - their smiles and coos and laughter, their questions and answers, their mispronounced words…
Congratulations!
Here are the two bits of advice that stood me in great stead when my kids were babies and that I pass on to anyone who asks (and plenty of folks you don’t 
).
- NEVER, EVER do something when your babies are alseep that you could do when they are awake.
Those moments are precious and rare and should never be wasted.
- As long as your babies are growing, hale, hearty, and have good appetites - pay no attention to what their poop looks likeor how frequent or infrequently they pass their bowels.
I think I drove my mother-in-law crazy because every time she came to visit she’d come racing to find me to breathlessly inform me that one of my kids had poop that was a little greener or runnier, or something else than she expected or the day before. Instead of joining her on her little hysteria trip and speed dialing the pediatrician and assertained that the child was not dehydrated then told her to “fugged abbowt it” I suspect (although I’m not positive) that now that they are a very healthy 17, 14, and 12 she’d admit that I was right about that one thing.
Not immediate help, but for the future:
The kids are going to fall down and go boom. The correct response (provided they do not have a nail embedded in their forehead or an eye dangling out of the socket) is to say, “Ooops! C’mon and get up!” or “Did you hurt that floor?” The proper response is not to scream “Oh my poor baby! Are you hurt? Let me see how bad it is!”
(If it really is bad, you’ll know soon enough and communicating your natural terror–and you will be terrified–to them will make them feel that you (who can do everything) cannot handle this, causing them to panic and exacerbate the problem.)
Go with your guts.
If you really, seriously, think something is wrong but they don’t seem that bad go get them checked over anyway. It may be nothing but you may be right. (I did this one myself, it turned out to be more than I thought it was but I followed that instinct and everything was good in the end.)
Don’t worry about the mess, keep stuff you need scattered all over (ie a cloth for over the shoulder when feeding them). Often I will pick up my son and wander to another area of the house, sit down and realize I left something I needed back where he was before, I still haven’t got this down.
Watch them sleep and take some pictures, they’ll never be this peaceful again.
Cuddle them daily.
Love them.
Bark at 'em if they get outta line, and wash them twice a day with your tongue.
…Oh wait, that’s advice to DOG parents.
As a non-parent, I have the following advice;
Don’t inflict your screaming child on the rest of us. You may be able to ignore your crying infant, but everyone else in the store/restaurant/airplane shouldn’t be expected to do so. Please be considerate of the other people around you.
Believe it or not, there are other people in the Universe. Don’t get so focused on your children that you act as if you and they are the only real people around. This means not only not talking about them endlessly, but ignoring the real world and other people around you while you focus on your kids. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a young mother corral her young kids right in front or around me to yell at them, completely oblivious to my presence. Ma’am, I was trying to look at that shelf. Get out of my face and quit screaming in my ear.
No, you don’t have to take anyone elses parenting advice. But it doesn’t hurt to listen. You can always ignore it. Getting pissed and telling people that you know everything there is to know about raising children and/or that they have no right to tell you anything (which former friends did to me) is supremely arrogant and will only cost you your relationships. It just isn’t worth getting worked up about.
Kids get hurt. They heal fast. Don’t panic and get all hysterical when your kid gets hurt. Not only does it not help, but they pick up on that sort of thing. (“wow, mom freaked out!”)
Don’t be afraid to discipline your children. Don’t be afraid to set limits and enforce them. Don’t try so hard to be their friend - that isn’t your job. Your job is to be their parent.
And finally,
Your job as Parent is not to childproof the world, it is to worldproof your child.
And you can quote me on that.
They will eat when they get hungry so don’t force it.
Don’t give them stupid rhyming names.
My best friends in high school were identical twins. Do everything you can from day one to encourage them to form their own identities. My friends were NEVER allowed to have their own lives and now, at 25, still don’t have their own lives/identities and probably never will because they are so stunted socially/emotionally/etc.
You need to go to Wal-Mart before the kids are born and buy a whole bunch of cloth diapers. They will be white, probably, and look really flimsy and not fit to serve as a diaper (which they aren’t). Use them for everything: light blankets when they’re asleep, barf rags, etc.
Hold them as much as humanly possible when they are babies. The more you touch 'em, the more secure they are going to be and also there will come a day when they will be more interested in Blue’s Clues than cuddling. Stroke their little heads a lot, it encourages brain cell growth.
If you let others babysit them now (every now and then), they won’t be clingy later on down the road. They, and you, will not suffer trauma if they spend the night with a relative once in a while. Especially when they learn that Grandma is much more liberal about chocolate pudding than Mom and Dad are.
Send your wife out of the house at least once a week for some alone time. Or, better yet, take the babies to a friend or family member’s house and let Mommy get some sleep. The #1 best thing you can do for your wife for the next 2-3 years is to shield her from as much sleep deprivation as you can.
The first time they fall off the couch will scare the hell out of you. Relax, they’re fine. Keep pillows on the floor bordering the couch.
Don’t let the Milk Nazis tell you that your kid will have all manner of allergies and disease if you don’t breastfeed and put you on a guilt trip. Kids can be just as healthy bottle fed as they can without. I’d put my kid’s health up against ANY breastfed kid’s, any day, any time.
You will go nuts if you try to wait 6 weeks before taking them out of the house.
And finally, yes, they really will be the most beautiful babies that ever lived.
Oooh… Good one!
Realize that, although they are very, very tiny, they are still human. Your normal speaking voice (well, maybe a tad quieter than normal) is just fine when you’re talking to them. “Baby talk” isn’t even kind of amusing.
Someone mentioned holding them as much as possible. While I do agree that is a fine idea, you will need to learn to put them down eventually. I held my son almost constantly for the first 3-4 months or so and, when it came time to do things like sit up, army crawl, etc. he hated the floor. He loves it now that he can move, but it took a long time* for him to “get there” because he was too busy screaming on the floor to learn.
Alex will be ten months in a few days. When I think about newborn baby Alex, I get all weepy. I can’t believe this little Big Guy was a tiny little baby once. Do treasure these next few months, they’ll be gone before you know it. And soon they’ll be asking if they can borrow the car for prom, and then they’ll find a college as far away from you as possible and they’ll never write and then they’ll get married and you’ll be Crazy ol’ Granddad…
Huh? What? Oh, right… The rhyming names, bad idea.
*A long time in Baby Years™ is about a month and a half Real Time.
more advice: be thankful for every moment you have prior to their teenage years. Crayon on the wall, PBJ in the VCR and CheeriOs in all available seating crevices including the car? All blessings.
I have to say, the thing I am most proud of as a parent is me as a parent. Kids know their job and just go about it. Parents need to get some training.
Twins? A few friends report that early difficulties are made up for later when they have eachother to hang out with.
It’s exactly stuff like this that makes new parents so crazy. What if I told you that I didn’t hold my baby very much for the first few months? Oo, bad mommy! What if I told you that it was because I sustained a pelvic injury in the birth and I didn’t hold him very much because I couldn’t? Oh, then I’m excused, right? It can’t work both ways.
Besides, this idea that you must hold your child AT ALL TIMES is one of the things that contributes to new parents feeling so overwhelmed. If you’re into “attachment parenting,” cool. But don’t feel like you’re a bad parent if you don’t hold them “as much as humanly possible.” Especially with twins! Zoinks.