My brother & I were sitting around watching tv (“Entertainment Tonight” or some such show) and we came up with a type of “fantasy getaway” service featuring a “Superstar for the evening” service.
Customers, say Mr. X & Mrs. Y, submit their names, recent photos and the titles to about 3 made-up movies. First, two actors playing the roles of bodyguards meet them at their front door and follow them around for the evening. Then, a limo picks them up at their house, whisks them off to a movie premiere where a red carpet is rolled out for them. A throng of actors pretending to be fans will scream in adulation of Mr. X & Mrs. Y. “Papparazzi” huddle at roped-off sides of the carpet frenziedly taking pictures of them.
Following that, the limo takes them away to a posh eatery, and perhaps a high-class bar or club. At each place, there are a mob of actors playing starstruck fans. Everyone’s heads turn as Mr. X & Mrs. Y enter, and people mob them exclaiming “I loved you in (name of fake movie), can I have your autograph?” One of the waiters at the restaurant will “interrupt” their dinner in order to ask them to read “the screenplay he’s just written.” “Movie Producers” will drop by their table to give them their business card and announce “LUV-ed you in (name of fake movie), have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch!”
The final stop for the night is a secretive hideaway hotel. Another “papparazzi” will get a “candid” photo of the couple entering the hotel. The bodyguards leave at this point. The couple spends the night, and in the morning they find a dummy-copy of a tabloid rag with the picture of them entering the hotel on it and the headline: “superstars “Mr. X” and “Mrs. Y” caught in secret love tryste!”
Of course, this idea is just an amusing notion between my brother & me. (The logistics & expenses of this service would obviously be too much to ever put into action.) Still, it’s fun to think about how many people might go for it.
So what’s your brilliant idea for making the big bucks, preferably really fast?
My brilliant scheme is to take bratty teenagers from rich parents, and give them life experience by abandoning them in the middle of Africa with $50 and a swahili dictionary. Tell them they need to get to Mombasa to fly home in 6 weeks.
The kids, of course, can’t know that their parents set them up.
And of course, charge the parents dearly for the cost of tailing them unseen to make sure they don’t get too lost.
Picture a horizontal, upholstered horseshoe-shaped armrest with contoured receptacles for one participant’s elbows, elevated several inches above the floor by a post curving back from the bend in the horseshoe. In the post is a shock absorber. Directly below the opening of armrest, just off the surface of the floor, is a support cusion for a man’s lower back, also with a shock absorber.
Another invention I’d like to patent is a tiny, disposable umbrellas that are jammed up the nose, opened and then pulled out, so that while using the device described above, neither party will be embarassed by boogers.
**Reality TV ** & Divorce Court
I think every five years of marriage there should be a Tribunal of Friends, Family and CoWorkers that come forward in a court like setting before Physcologists, Cops and judges (and the like) to listen to each individual give reason (under amensty and full pardon from the couple) of why they should be married or why they should be divorced.
The tribunal will ask specific questions regarding how well the couple work together, money issues, helping out at home issues…the whole barrel of worms. Enough to get a fair profile of them as individuals and as a married unit.
This way the friends, family and coworkers can get off their chests all the pesky little things that the wife whines ad nauseum about what her lazy good for nothing husband does all the time to them about but refuses either let it go, etc.
And the friends can testify about how much money the husband really spends on a weekend of duck hunting.
And the family can come in to testify that she is a fucking harpie and he is a lazy duck hunting spendthrift.
So, by the time the husband and wife are individually counselled before the Tribunal they have a good idea of the state of them and give them the chance to work on the problem areas or to call it quits and divorce like decent human beings and not physcotic animals fighting over who gets the stupid patio furniture that no one ever sat on.
It would never work, yet it is so voyeristic and calling out to every farking attention whore in the country that it would make Mark Burnett my cabana boy.
A chain of National Lottery Stores. Lottery tickets are only available in their states of origin. I’d create a chain that would sell lottery tickets from any state in the country. My customers in California could play the Megamillions game from New York and vice versa. Retirees in Florida could still buy their favorite tickets from Michigan. Travelers could buy their hometown tickets.
A health food store around here was selling powdered kudzu root for something like $15 a pound. Now, if you don’t know, kudzu is an invasive, fast-growing vine that’s literally covered large stretches of the American South. You turn your back, it’ll cover your yard. And people were paying money for this stuff?
My plan? I’m opening a pick-your-own, organic kudzu farm.
I know that. If it wasn’t for the legal problems of setting up such a business this wouldn’t be my “get-rich-quick scheme”, it’d be my “how-I-made-my-first-million anecdote”.
I’d set up my own operation to take preexisting stuff or make my own kitchy crap, but market it as “new age” or otherwise hip. Hell, if Martha and Kathy Ireland can do it, so can I! Makes me wonder how I can make sidearms “chique”.
Tripler
Buy my revolvers! Their colors are all the rage in Paris this fall!
I’ve been thinking of a simple plan to solve a bit of the world’s road rage. I’d like to offer up this invention: A digital sign on the top of one’s vehicle, which states how fast you will be driving. Then, as you sit at an intersection, you can tell if you should pull out in front of a vehicle, or wait as you will know how fast you will be going and how fast he will be going. Also, other valuable information, such as “I will be turning left in the next mile” or “I’m looking for a strange address, might stop suddenly” will be readily apparent. The last glitch I need to work out is how to not attract the attention of the police when I plan on going 15 mph over the speed limit and have it posted on the top of my truck…
Sigh…all of mine involve “perfect crimes”. Pity…foolproof plans for all sorts of highly profitable crimes just pop into my mind, and here I am, too fricking moral to try and pull any of 'em off. Ah well…
I had an idea years ago…I still think it is pretty good! I would found a whole bunch of grade-school and HS investment clubs…the idea would be to get kids interested in the stock markets. Anyway, each kid would pay in about $1.00/head per day…and the money would be invested in a portfolio of stocks. When the kids graduated, I would return their investment, with income.
I’d be the Magellan Fund of the schoolyard!
Nothing illegal here, is there?
Buy a house. Set up all my sexy single, sexually adventures female friends in it with a room or a few left open. Rent the open rooms for insane prices. For extra income, there would be webcams in most of the rooms and a website where people would pay to look at the webcams or picks uploaded.
