What's your favorite example of zeugma?

Cafe Society
1

I’m sure I don’t have to tell my erudite fellow Dopers that zeugma is

I happened to think about zeugma last week because my wife directed her school production of Fiddler on the Roof, and the song “Matchmaker, Matchmaker,” about making marriages matches, includes the line, “Playing with matches a girl can get burned.”

That reminded me of a lovely Tin Pan Alley song sung by Annette Hanshaw, “Mean to Me,” in which the singer bemoans how mean her boyfriend is, starting out

You’re mean to me
Why must you be mean to me?

And at the end of the verse lamenting,

It must be great fun to be mean to me
You shouldn’t, for can’t you see
What you mean to me?

Here’s her delightful recording of it.

But I’m holding out the following example as the gold standard that you can attempt to beat (but probably won’t).

“Madeira, m’dear,” by Flanders and Swann

Each of the song’s three verses contains a line that features a three- or four-way zeugma.

And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar, and the lamps:

She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes.

When he asked, “What in heaven?” she made no reply,
Up her mind and a dash for the door.

(It has not escaped me that this lyrically and musically sophisticated song, written by two refined and well-educated British gentlemen, treats date rape as a suitable topic for humour. The “smile on her lips” softens things a bit, but there’s no question about his motives. And believe it or not, this is not the only one of their songs to do so. See “Tonga Maiden.” But let us not get sidetracked on this issue here.)

So what memorable examples of zeugma would you like to share?

2

Speaking of questionably aged humour, some zeugma from the the Two Ronnies’ “Minister of Communications” sketch:

…we are constantly on each other’s toes, and secretaries…are, I mean she’s always buzzing round, making tea and ends meet…

3

I’m not quite sure if it is a zeugma (a new word for me, but I knew the concept), so does my favorite line from the Temptations’ “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” count? (the last line from the chorus)

Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died
All he left us was alone

4

Not sure if this form counts:

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

5

It really is the best example of it, so I’m not sure it’s beatable.

Not sure if this counts, but I’ve always been a fan of Pat Paulsen’s “I’ve upped my standards; now up yours”.

6

“The pious ones of Plymouth who, reaching the Rock, first fell upon their own knees and then upon the aborigines.”

7

I’m pretty sure the original singer of that song was Ruth Etting who was involved with a gangster, who was, well, mean to her. Doris Day of all people played her in the movie about Etting’s life.

8

From Firefly, as Zoe (the ship’s first officer, and married to the pilot) is being questioned by The Authorities:

“What is your connection to Captain Reynolds?”
“I fought with him during the war.”
“And your husband?”
"Sometimes I fight with him, too.

9

All over Indiana farmers grow corn, soybeans and bored.

10

Well I’ve learned a new word today so that’s good. It can be an elegant little peice of wordplay and I suspect one that Terry Pratchett has used time and again. It feel very Pratchett. I’ll have to go looking for some.

11

From Duck Soup:

You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

12

She blew my nose and then she blew my mind.
It’s the honky tonk women . . .

13

There’s one right in the title of “Please, Please Me”

14

The National Spelling Bee is coming up in a few days. That could very well be one of the words.

15

I’m afraid I can’t think of another example right now, just wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed performing this song a number of times, and IMHO it benefits from really emphasising the wordplay (which can be harder to appreciate when hearing it sung compared with reading it) by almost putting a comma after “put out”, “raising”, and “made” - so it’s clear that each of the 3 or 4 items that follow relate back to the same verb. No doubt some may find that too obvious, but that’s simply a case of chacun a son gout.

The last few times I’ve performed the piece, I’ve prefaced it with a disclaimer that the ‘plot’ is clearly not acceptable these days (actually, it never should have been) but I feel the wordplay is too good to ‘cancel’ the piece entirely. As time goes on though, I’m not sure this is sufficient justification (it’s about half a step removed from “it’s OK to tell a racist joke if it’s funny”). However, as per the OP, this isn’t the place to discuss this - I’d be happy to do so in another thread if someone wants to start it.

16

Can’t remember where I saw it, but this is a favorite of mine; “You can catch more flies with honey, but you catch more honeys when you’re fly.”

17

Glad the OP defined the term.

I was thinking it was the stuff that oozes out of epidermal inclusion cysts. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

18

In one Richard Matheson story, he has this rhyme:

Man, the better!
Man, the higher
Man the pumps!
The World’s on fire!

19

Today I heard Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” (written and produced by Jim Steinman) on the car radio and immediately thought of this thread. It has the classic line

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart

20

Eminem is famous for this kind of bar; e.g., “We gon’ make you bleed with every cut from this album”, “I’m so far past the bar, I should practice law”, “If it weren’t for blow jobs, you’d be unemployed”, etc. but I cannot recall off the top of my head the best ones, or which ones are actually instances of zeugma.