32, Average White Male, geek, in a happy, stable, monogamous relationship. Been with the Mrs for 10 years now. Engaged, not married. My folks love her, her folks… tolerate me.
36 and happily committed for the past 2 1/2 years.
On the verge of 28, and resigned to being single, probably forever. Not completely happy or unhappy, but facing reality. I’m doing a lot to get my life in order, but I don’t ever want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness, nor would I ever dare pin all my happiness on another person. Not that I think most people (myself included) are capable of reaching the state of “happiness” (I think “contentment” is enough to shoot for, personally).
I’m 37, Suburbann Plankton is 38 we’ve been in a happily committed, though not always physically or emotionally exclusive relationship for 15 years.
18 and happily committed. Been dating for around 6 months, and other than small healthy arguments and disagreements, everything is going quite well. It helps that both of us are relatively mature for our ages, and think relatively alike. I have my fingers crossed for the future!
56, gay male, happily committed since 1992. He finally met my father last year (Dad finally came to visit), I met the two of his sisters whom I hadn’t met before also last year. There are many tiny ways he drives me crazy, but I consider myself to be extremely lucky, because I don’t seem to be much of a catch on a personal level. We are a true case of opposites attract. He brings energy and creativity, I bring practicality and prudence. Between us, we make a great pair, though I say it who shouldn’t.
Roddy
58, “resignedly” single. I have two daughters, and when their mother remarried and moved out of town last October, they elected to live with me. At the end of the month the younger one (now 16) started to get seriously ill, and entered hospital the day before Thanksgiving. She emerged on the 24th January sans large intestine (ulcerative colitis). So even if I were inclined to pursue a relationship—I’m not—I have other priorities at the moment.
Oh, and an aside (on preview) to Big Bad Voodoo Lou: don’t deal yourself out of the game just yet. I fell into marriage at the age of 37, after having resigned myself to your situation for several years. That it didn’t work out in the long run doesn’t change the fact that it happened when I least expected it. I’m not saying you should start frequenting singles bars; just keep yourself open to the possibility.
I’m 23, male, single (for 3 years), and indifferent. I do not actively seek a relationship, but if opportunity knocks then I may open the door to a new relationship. Life as an engineering student and musician has been a busy one with little extra time and few opportunities to meet new ladies.
I had been in an excellent relatinoship from age 17 to age 20. Long distance became an issue after she went to college and are lives just carried on in different directions. I’m optimistic about the future because I’ll meet someone else…eventually. No hurry.
It’s spring break now so I have more extra time this week to surf the SDMB.
27, bi female, happily married. My husband says he is 26, male, happily married. And then he called me a goose.
My girlfriend is 49 and so am I. Also about 2 1/2 years along, have separate homes but spend half of every week together. Like kambuckta we struggled for a while with terminology for exactly the same reasons. After some discussion we realized neither of us really worries too much about the implications and “girlfriend/boyfriend” is better understood by most, so that’s been it.
Happily committed, by the way.
54, happily married for 27 years, and we were on again off again for 6 years before that.
40, male, comparatively happily single, have been for nearly two years after a four-year desperately unhappy commitment. Doubt I’ll want to risk another, but one never knows.
35, male and apatheticaly single.
Currently, I have a couple of “Friends with benifits” going on right now. So I’m not really feeling the lonely-ness that normally comes with being single.
However, it would be nice to have somebody to plan a nice vacation to Cancun with.
35 (almost 36), female, very happily married for almost 1 year now.
Had 3 unhealthy unhappy longterm relationships before I met Mr Right.
46, happily married THIS time. Been married twice before, first for what I thought for love, second turned out to be for money.
Advice I can give anyone: be prepared to love your SO past wrinkles, bad disgestion, loss of teeth etc. Heh.
Currently my hubby and I are embarking upon a trip to the family counselor to iron out a few differences between us - we don’t want to give up on the “I” that is the each of us, but we love and cherish the “us” which isn’t possible without these other “I”'s.
To strike out into un-discussed territory, I’d say that being unhappily single is MUCH to be preffered over unhappily married. Don’t rush into relationship or marriage without being ok with the hard work which relationship takes. Take a break. Or just stay single. If I hadn’t met my current hubby I’d probably still be single, happily, to my end. With my puppies, of course.
Male, 25, quite happily single; not actively looking, but not closed to possibilities either. Unfortunately, my talent appears to be to make every woman I’m interested in into a good friend.
24, male, and ambivalently single. I really don’t know what I want.
26, male, single, not unhappily, for a while now, after what I’d consider a pretty serious long-term relationship. Well, I was unhappy for a while, but I’ve come to realize that I’m now able to make a mess in the kitchen as much as I darn well please, leave my dirty socks on my desk and be blissfully free of the constant nervousness and insecurity that a relationship always brings with it… well, for me, anyway. So, now I’m pretty comfortable with it.
At the moment, I feel like I really can’t be arsed to go through the whole shebang of falling in love, getting to know someone (yeah, for me it’s usually in that order), the whole blah blah all over again with someone new. I went down that whole road once, I’m amazingly happy to have experienced it, but doing it all over again? Man, that’s a whole crapload of work for something that will more than likely just not work out again. I’ve also had my fair share of less serious stuff, too, so I feel like I have the whole thing pretty much covered. As it stands, I think it actually would take an absolute miracle for me to ever fumble my ass into another relationship again. I have no desire at all to procreate or have myself a nuclear family - none whatsoever. I’ll happily leave it to my brother to carry on the family name. If I can only get a one night stand about once every eight months until my libidy peters out due to old age, I’ll be just fine.
OK, so I guess I’ve either become a cynical old geezer, or I’m in some kind of state of denial. I’ll guess time will show which one it is.
18 months single after the nasty end of a 7 year long, destructive living-with relationship with a clever sociopath. Married for a long time before that, with some fun wild-assed dating in the interval.
Quite OK with being single for now. Listlessly dating someone, but have declined benefits. (Starting to really miss benefits though.)
On the what do you call the partner thing. After about the mid-20s, "boyfriend/girlfriend just sounds odd. I never could come up with a good moniker. So I’d just refer to the guy by name and if relevant, tack on “the man I’m living with” or something.
Oh, I’m 48.
I’m female, over 40, and in a very happy, committed relationship with a engineer I’ve been dating for a couple of years now. Before that, I was single and happy and didn’t really want or expect to get into a relationship.
Kambuckta, since I’m not overly fond of the term “boyfriend” myself, I’ll refer to him as “the gentleman I’ve been seeing” if some sort of term is needed.
CJ