Oh, I get it. Notice the initials.
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Don’t forget researching more effective forms of birth control, which could eliminate or at least ameliorate the problem
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I agree that this would be good.
Then we could have an argument about the existence of oxytocin bonding, how important it is to a married couple, and whether or not multiple sex partners reduces its effect on a long term relationship. 
Dear Smart Alx:
I am having a problem with my ladiefriend and I hope you can help. We both reads your column regularly and is firm believers in your no-secks-ever-or-else -the-Earth-explodes educatering. She (but not me) was skeptical at first (I am Pentecostal) but we have cum to an agreement that seckural intracourse is always wrong unless we are married and boring.
but sence we are human beings we still desired physical touchings and secksural release so we began limiting our intimit activities to buttsecks. This proved to be a problemetic, however, as it made her cry and beg me to stop and call the police. and blead.
Wanting to remain faithful to your well thinked-out educatizing on population control/U-jenicks believes that pee-pee/hoo-haw secks is out of the question is un-natchural and fourbidden, we decide that blowing-jobs were the best course of action. and i thanks you becuz they are feeling good for my pennis.
But here is are problems: everytime i would ejectulate my seed in her mouth she would gurgle that it was unfair—that i was the only one getting secksural gratifying-ation—what about her? Of course, i was asleep by then so i had no answerings. Left to her own wicked female ways she did the only thing her women brains could think abote— she spit my man-spunk onto her fingers and rubbed it in too her evil parts until she siezured (or whatever them calls it).
then one days the female-problems person told us she were with child. we never had the secks inter-course so this was impossible we thinking. but later a miniatyre man came out of her woman-gash.
we killed it, of course, thinking this is whaqt you wood advice us on becuase babies are bad for the earth. but are question is, how did the mini-man grow out of her smelly place when we’uns never had no seckural intercourse?
please help.
Wanting-to-get-off-but-not-sin
Arkansaw
I call bullshit on the claim that married people are more likely to choose “stronger forms” of birth control out of choice. It’s damn near impossible for a young woman, especially a single woman, to get sterilized. So she doesn’t choose not to get sterilized, the choice is made for her. IUDs are not optimal for women who have not given birth, and again, it’s hard for a single nulliparous gal (not that nulliparous applies to men) to choose to get an IUD. So single women are not choosing “stronger” methods of birth control because they don’t want them, but because they can’t get them.
Not every married woman wants kids, you know. I never wanted kids, and knew this from the time I was 12 or so. I still wanted to marry the man I loved, and I got pregnant in a time and place where abortions were not available. I love my daughter, and I wish that I had never had her. Even 30 years after the fact, I am still in daily emotional pain from this dichotomy. So NOT being able to obtain an abortion has caused me serious mental pain for over 30 years.
On a somewhat lighter note, I find the “Girls Gone Wild” ads offensive, but not nearly as offensive as the Chia ads, especially the Chia Obama ads. The Chia ads are just WRONG.
It may be that doctors don’t prefer to sterilize single women and it may be that IUDs aren’t possible for most women who have not given birth. But it does not mean that the numbers of single women getting sterilized would grow by a large amount if doctors didn’t stand in their way.
Then get sterilized. Not that it’s fullproof but it’s an option if you are married and it does reduce the chances that you will become pregnant. If you do get pregnant then your child will be more likely to be supported, just as your daughter was.
I’m sorry that it has caused you so much mental pain. Surely your daughter has more than made up for it. You don’t wish her dead do you? Have you ever told your daughter your feelings? I’m sure she is very happy that you weren’t able to have an abortion. You are an excellent example of what could happen in a world where abortions wouldn’t be available to married women. You suffered but your daughter lived. What parent wouldn’t suffer for the sake of her or his child? You did and I am grateful to you for the sacrifices you made for your daughter.
I have found blowjobs to be 100% safe. They lead to zero pregnancies (if she is a good girl who swallows every last drop) and zero STD’s (at least if I am the job being blown because I am disease-free). The important thing is that oral-receiver is a true jizz-lapper who enjoys it to the last drop. If you have a real purty mouth then you too can do your part by blowing each and every horny guy you encounter. Even better, you can also offer up your little brown-eye as yet another population explosion deterrent.
The question must be asked, and you are obliged to answer: are you,** Smart Alx **doing YOUR part to prevent unplanned pregnancies? You’ve got the orifices, now start swallowing love-spunk and start bending over for man-love enemas. Otherwise, how can we take seriously your fight to reduce unplanned pregnancies? You talk the talk, but can you spread cheeks for the baby-batter? WWJD?
Remember Dr. Jocelyn Elders? Wasn’t she roundly vilified by the puritan knuckle-draggers for her suggestion (just a mere suggestion) that masturbation be intoduced as part of a sex-ed curriculum? Always seemed to me like a positive way to cut down on unwanted pregnancies. Why didn’t all of our buddies on the Right support her? What was the counter-argument? “If it feels good don’t do it?”
Smart Alx, what is your position on emphasizing masturbation as an alternative to sexual intercourse?
Nevertheless, do you recognize that it should have been her choice to make? If not, why not?
OK. I will now offer a more serious answer to you than my previous posts. I think that a certain number of women (I won’t offer up a quantity like, “some”, “many”, “most”, “nearly all”, etc) do indeed have a variety of unpleasant feelings after an abortion; ranging from guilt to depression, anxiety and others. Would it be preferable if fewer women had abortions and thus never had to confront these emotions? Yes. So how do we achieve that?
I think you, I, and many others would agree that trying to prevent unplanned pregnancies is the best way. So how do we achieve that? We could make all pre-marital sex illegal (which would hardly make a dent in the problem and grossly violate civil liberties); we could try to indoctrinate complete sexual abstinence to all unmarried couples (studies have shown that this is not effective and possibly counter-effective); or we could increase reproductive education and offer easy, free, universal access to birth control to everybody of child bearing age.
I think the last idea is the most promising–even though we know that most birth-control methods sometimes fail. Because even with that caveat, if we made it possible for everyone to know about the possible consequences of having sex–namely pregnancy and STD’s-- AND offer them low-cost or free access to the most effective means of minimizing those risks (yes, including mentioning that not having sex at all is the surest way to avoid those risks), then we could and would go a LONG way toward eliminating unplanned pregnancies and STDs.
As she and other women have said, quite often women can’t get sterilized. “Just do it” isn’t a solution when doctors won’t cooperate.
Disgusting, but predictable. When push comes to shove, that’s what the pro-life position always boils down to; “Make the sluts suffer!”
Sure, assuming they don’t want it. Again; “unplanned” and “unwanted” aren’t the same thing.
Garbage. She gets a pregnancy she doesn’t want or can’t handle; she terminates it. That’s taking responsibility; she had a problem and she solved it. Quite often, the most responsible path is to get an abortion.
Hmmmm.
I had a long reply typed out, but I think that I’d better not put that info online. I will just say that you are just about 100% wrong.
Women WILL abort in about the same percentages, whether it’s legal or not. You can say that it’s wrong, but you won’t change that fact. Back when abortion was illegal, certain doctors were well known to be sympathetic to women’s problems, and then there were times when a girl or woman went to visit an aunt or something. The doctors were abortionists, some out of greed, some out of genuine sympathy. It’s very, very easy to perform an abortion. I could do it, with a minimum of equipment. Most of my patients would probably live, too. The difference between legal and illegal abortions is the survival of the women. Have you read the reports of women arriving at hospitals, hemorrhaging because of a botched abortion? That’s what happens when abortions are illegal…women get them anyway, and many times they have complications.
Lynn,
I do care.
Not enough to respect women’s decisions about their own bodies.
Who is claiming there is “truly safe sex”? I first had a sex ed course in a rather liberal state in 1992. The message was the same between then and the end of grade school:
[ol]
[li]Abstinence is the only way to be 100% sure you won’t get an STD or cause a pregnancy.[/li][li]If you do have sex, here are some options to help reduce the risks.[/li][/ol]
IME, we’ve been trying our hardest to convince everyone that sex has consequences, while at the same time trying to protect those who do choose to have sex.
Safer sex has already solved the problem of millions more unwanted pregnancies, in this country and many others:
Availability of contraceptive methods in Eastern Europe has lowered abortion rates (and thus, unintended pregnancy rates) significantly.
I’m not American, and a bit too young, so i’m afraid I don’t have much in the way of memories of Three’s Company and Animal House (i’ve heard of them, but that’s it).
Are you saying here that we should change the media in order to change culture? I really don’t see how that’s doable without ending up with something worse. Sex sells, as they say. You’re not going to be able to persuade media groups to remove all content you’d consider salacious or hurtful, because it makes a lot of money for them. So the only alternative is to mandate it, and I imagine you can see the problems with the government stepping in to enforce views on the media for yourself. And I doubt it would work anyway.
Here’s a idea. You’ve suggested that the media and culture feed off of each other, and i’d probably agree. But that can’t always have been the case, or the exclusion of every other factor, because then we wouldn’t have got to this situation in the first place. There must have been some defining factor, or factors, that led to the situation you see in the first place. A cause, or causes. If you can identify that, it seems like that’d be a good way to go about things; after all, it’s already worked at least once.
And people think I peddle snake oil.
Seriously, being “addicted” to the person you marry sounds like a recipe for a disasterous marriage. Mental health requires the ability to form adult friends and have interests beyond your spouse.
My mother killed herself not long after I was born. She wanted an abortion. She was prevented from having one by the state and I had to grow up with the guilt that my life drove her to suicide. But I’m sure you think that is an excellent example of what could happenin a world where abortions wouldn’t be available to married women, also? Everyday in my counseling, I see clients who are the products of unwanted pregnancies. They range from the suicidal to the highly dangerous.
A misconception based on an erroneous publication from a pro-abstinence group. See here:
This turned out to be a misrepresentation of Dr. Turner’s study:
Off topic or not, just thought you might appreciate being corrected.
I’ve told you repeatedly what my solution is: free birth control for anyone that wants it, easy access to abortion, and better sex ed for teenagers that deals honestly with the reality that sex is a natural part of adult life and therefore is something every teen will want to explore.
And I’ll add - better prenatal & maternity care, as well as generous child support, for those who want to have the child but feel compelled to abort because of poverty.
As for your friends -
It’s true that some women suffer because they had abortions. It’s also true that some women suffer depression, anxiety and suicidal behavior because they -didn’t- get an abortion.
It would be as foolish to outlaw abortions based on the first group’s reactions as it would be to mandate abortions based on the second.
Did I type that? Sorry, I don’t know what could have come over me.
All on its own.
Crap. Now I have to go to confession.