What's your stance on going to a bar alone?

[Soylent_Juicy]

Back in my Single Days I lived within walking distance to all the bars in my city so I used to go out all the time by myself. I’d always run into somebody I knew and would end up hanging out with them for the evening then just walk home after. No problem-o.

I only ONCE felt uncomfortable and that was when some guy would JUST NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. He was grabbing my hands all like, “Do you have a ring? Are you married? Where is your boyfriend?” and every time I took a step back he’d take a step forward until I ended up backed into a corner, so I managed to get him to go away and then I walked up to the biggest, most muscular guy in the place and said “May I please stand here with you? I’m getting hit on and it’s really annoying.” Of course that was fine and I ended up having a pleasant evening after all.

I’m a very independent person so I’ll go pretty much anywhere by myself and just follow my gut instinct. I think people who don’t go places because they don’t have “someone to go with” are missing out on a lot of fun.

[Jackknifed_Juggernaut]

I do it all the time. When you’re divorced and most of your friends are married, there’s often little choice between going alone or staying home. I’ve never vacationed alone, but will probable do so soon.

[Dustin_Jake]

Welcome to the SDMB, Dustin_Jake.

It’s no big deal to put something in the wrong forum, and a mod will be happy to move it for you (as I have done). You can report the post yourself – click on the little triangle with an ! in the upper right corner of the post, and you’ll get a message box. Just put your message in the box and submit. Despite the standardized language under the box, it’s not just for emergencies – it’s a way to let the mods know there’s something they can help with, since we don’t read every post in every thread.

Again, welcome! Hope you enjoy your time here.

Hey twickster,

Thanks for the welcome and for moving it for me! That’s good to know, cuz I couldn’t figure out how to do it to save my life. ha

[Dustin_Jake]

@msmith537

Well, I have nothing against it, but I would usually prefer to go with people!

It also has a little to do with perhaps feeling “loserish”. Or at the very least, a bit bored. When I go to a bar alone, I have trouble figuring out what to do with myself other than sit there getting wasted. Especially if everyone there is in groups of people.

A lot of it depends on the bar though. College bars are tough because they are noisy and usually consist of small groups of 20-somethings getting shitfaced. Then again, if you go to the college of the people who frequent that bar, chances are you will know someone there or at least wont be perceived as a weird outsider if you don’t.

Meat market bars are sort of the same. But one advantage is that people are there to pick up people so it’s not totally weird to have a stranger strike up a conversation.

Quiet pubs, whisky bars and such are probably the best if you just want to have a drink or six while reading the paper.

Ideally though (and this may be more of an urban thing), you want to find a local bar where you can just go and become a “regular”. So even if you go there alone, there will be someone who recognizes you.

I totally agree. I actually ended up going to a bar last Saturday, after asking the question, and had a really good time. It was a very low key bar (which is definitely essential), and the Diamondbacks game was on tv (sports tend to make it much more enjoyable :p). I actually ended up meeting a guy around my age who was there alone as well and hadn’t met many friends. It’s always a cool feeling meeting new people outside of your comfort zone.

*side note… Being there alone and enjoying myself made me feel a lot more confident (admittedly after a drink or two ha!) and I wound up getting the cute hostess’s phone number. If I was with a friend, I never would have done that. For some reason, I feel awkward flirting with girls in front of people I know.

[CrazyCatLady]

I don’t see the appeal myself, but then I’m not a fan of going to bars with people either.

I got great food, great beer and mixed drinks, and a large tv right here at home, without the mark-up. Plus there’s a couple really cool dogs, a library, and I can wear my underpants, scratching my ass and watching cartoons or costume dramas instead of stupid, boring sports.

[SeaDragonTattoo]

I’ve done it twice, and was hassled both times, and was followed out of the bar the second time - once I realized the guy was following me I pulled into a gas station where a squad car was parked. So, no. I don’t go to bars alone, and certainly never leave one alone! I’ve always thought it would be nice to hang at the local bar I can walk to, but I’ve been forever put off doing it.

[Rhiannon8404]

I used to go to this pub (does that count? not really a bar) by myself for an hour or so every Tuesday afternoon while Ledzedkid was at CCD (catechism). I would sit in the corner and knit and have a pint. Pretty soon I got to know the regulars and the bartender and started sitting (and knitting!) at the bar.

Funny story: one day I am sitting at the bar chatting away, enjoying my pint and the bartender looks to my right and says, “What can I get ya?” Small familiar voice says, “Coke please!” and I look over to see the Kiddo pulling up a barstool. Seems class was cancelled and he just walked himself over to the pub (less than half a block) instead of calling me. A mixture of pride at his resourcefulness and “Omg! You could have been kidnapped” ran through me, but I settled on pride for remembering where I was and not panicking when he couldn’t call me. He was probably 8 yo. at the time.

[Lacunae_Matata]

I like going to bars by myself. Either a neighborhood pub, where “everybody knows your name,” or at least your drink, and you’re likely to run into a buddy or two, or sometimes a totally new place where you might strike up a conversation with anyone. Even in my younger cuter days, no one ever hassled me memorably nor made me feel like a loser or (conversely) a hooker because I happened to go to a bar solo.