Fuck off asshole. All your posts are garbage anyway. I’d miss you not if I never saw another one.
Thank you for sharing this story but I have no idea what relevance it has here in this thread. Unless you’re (fucking ignorantly) telling me I shouldn’t ever get frustrated and vent on the stupidity of the way I’m treated sometimes?
Good for you! Somewhere someone has a scoobie snack for you. You won’t find it here, though.
Thank you. I appreciate this more than you know. 
Don’t hope. Just be fucking shocked and amazed if it ever does. The satisfaction is much more immense that way. Plus there’s no disappointment. That’s already settled into my bones. 
My friend in a chair said it’s ok to use that stall when the other ones are full. She expects to wait when everyone else does. She’s uncomfortable when people let her go ahead of everyone else when the stall’s empty. Says it highlights that she’s different.
No, I won’t be showing her this thread.
ETA: I do realize that people are different, and that some people may need to get to the restroom more urgently than others. Ask, don’t insist.
No, Dopers are much worse. It’s why I used to fly off at the handle over this bullshit. They came off as such horrible human beings, the only thing I could think to do was hurt them and hope for a conditioned response. Empathy for others is what makes us human. If you don’t have that, you’re a low-brained animal.
Now, of course, no one is perfect. Everyone has their times when they slip up. But you don’t need to be perfect to make a public comment on a messageboard. You have plenty of time to stop and think. And you know it’s going to be seen by 100s of other people. It takes being a pretty horrible person to post what people here do.
The only thing that changed things for me is realizing that the rest of the Internet is far, far worse. And seeing that, while some Dopers are like that, some are good people who step up to the plate, making me no longer feel like I’m the only guy fighting the fight.
That is the ABSOLUTE CORRECT ACTION!! And THAT is all I EVER, EVER, EVER ask for! I don’t expect to have to wait any less than any able-bodied person to use the stalls. I just don’t want to have to (unnecessarily) wait LONGER for a stall than an able-bodied person. Fairness! That’s all I want. The handicap stall is there for EVERYONE. As a stall of necessity. For able-bodied people, that stall is a necessity when all other non-accessible stalls are full. For disabled people, that stall is a necessity each and every time a trip to the restroom is needed. If I encounter a long line at the bathroom, I wait just like everyone else.
Arf! My point is that attitude is what most people remember overall and can shape us, inside and out, and is what we retain most of all, too. If that’s lame well then, I am, so how about exercising some of that there empathy? 
BTW I did tell Ambivalid I relate some of the times. But this is the pit so have at it.
Again, I’m still bit confused. So are you making a criticism of my attitude here in venting about my unpleasant experiences? Should I have remained a “happy gimp”, like so much of the world seems to expect of me? Please be clear in the intentions of your remarks, because you really seem like a nice lady and I don’t like the idea of what you seem to be implying.
I don’t know what the deal is with some of the haters in this thread.
Sure, when Ambivalid first joined this board, all he ever talked about was being disabled. Then people (rightly) criticized him that maybe he should talk less about his disability and more about the man himself.
And guess what? Ambivalid did exactly that. He turned his shit around and is what I consider to be a valuable member of this board. We don’t always agree, and we may have even bumped head a few times. Even so, I’m glad he’s a poster here.
And fer christ sake! He’s allowed to bitch about his disability every once in a while!
I don’t know if I’m a nice lady or not.
“…what you seem to be implying” sounds ominous but I choose not to think you mean it in a bad way. Apparently I haven’t made myself clear.
or
(I’ve rarely read a thread in the Pit where everybody agrees with the OP but if that’s the case here, I didn’t get the memo and let me get in the Amen Corner real quick or else let me just STFU.)
I’m saying that dental assistant tried to be helpful. When she offended you she tried to explain why she tried to be helpful. But you were still ticked off enough to come in here and rant. I’m saying that everybody in the world feels like they have something that makes them “different” but getting mad at a “positive” because you take it “negatively” doesn’t help anybody and can cause hard feelings all around. Better to be independent without being in-your-face.
To be crystal clear—No, I don’t support this rant. Yes, I think you can do better and will feel better for it.
Well, that was what I was thinking of I guess. However, I was in a really shitty mood yesterday and went way, way too far. I am sorry and I would like to apologize to everyone involved.
The OP was never rude to the dental assistant. He was merely venting at a cumulative build up of annoyance towards people who cluelessly patronize him. Sure, they’re are well intentioned folks, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still annoying.
Read the OP’s first paragraph again:
Basically, what you’re doing is invalidating the OPs feelings. As if he’s wrong to feel that way. He would be wrong to act on those feelings but he’s certainly not wrong to feel those feelings.
Have you never heard the saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions?”
I’m sure the hygenist meant well. That doesn’t mean she was right to treat the OP like an old woman or a child even after he showed he was perfectly able to get around on his own.
Again he didn’t go off on her in person so I have no idea where these “hard feelings” you keep saying he caused are coming from. He had an experience that annoyed him and he came here to bitch about it anonymously.
Let me give you another example. A good friend of mine is going though a really rough patch in her life. She is in therapy but getting to the root of her problems involved working through problems she’s avoided facing and stuff she has been keeping secret since childhood. She is making progress but it’s slow and hard for her. A lot of the time she is exhausted and when not working tends to opt for easy and shlubby clothes, no makeup, and acts very quiet and reserved.
People tell her to smile because she’s prettier when she smiles. Cheer up, it can’t be that bad. Breakups are hard but there are plenty of fish in the sea (this was way worse than just a breakup.) She’ll never get another man if she doesn’t start taking some pride in herself. Forget the past because it doesn’t matter.
They mean well. But it hurts her that they think hiding her feelings and finding a man will make all her problems go away. That she can just forget her problems and be Little Susie Sunshine (because if it was that easy she’d have done it a long time ago.)
She’s polite to these people’s faces, but is she not allowed to rant to me or her therapist or someone else she trusts about how hurtful it is? Or is she just supposed to suck it up and be grateful that they didn’t laugh at her or ignore her?
How about asking? I generally ask if the person needs my help. If they say yes, I ask them to tell me what and how if it’s more complicated than just opening the door and getting out of the way. If they say no, I smile and tell them don’t hesitate to ask if the situation changes and they do need some assistance.
I think that’s part of the problem. If you ask if any help is needed you come across as patronizing. If you don’t ask you might miss an opportunity to honestly provide help that is needed.
Frankly I’m a little uncomfortable with the whole situation because, as I’ve stated, I do not have any experience in this field.
Most of us aren’t jerks, ya know. We just find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. That’s directed at Ambivalid.
Well, in that case, to be crystal clear, I do not support your opinion. Like in any possible way, shape or form. So I guess we’re good. <fist bump>
How about you just apologize to me?
Has a disabled person told you that asking if they need help comes across patronizing? Or is this just your projection?
Repeatedly, Ambivalid has said that he isn’t bothered by people asking. It’s the insistence of help and the additional commentary (like what the dental hygenist said) that is annoying. If you don’t do these things, then I can’t see how you could possibly screw up the interaction.
A week or so ago, I was at the grocery store and there was this lady in a motorized scooter struggling to get a can off the shelf. I asked if I could get that for her. She thanked me profusely as I handed it to her. I said “any time” and then walked away.
It wasn’t awkward at all.
No. Never. But I’ve never been placed in this situation in my life.