When a man runs over a dog, it's not news...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

When a dog runs over a man, it is.

2

Now the animals have cars
They’re starting to run us over
Notches on the steering wheel
My pet is calling me Rover

3

I’ve been run over by my dog many times. Nothing like 140 pounds of scampering puppy the size of a young colt to liven up your morning.

4

This is why I won’t let Blackjack drive.

5

If the dog goes to Traffic School can he avoid getting a point on his license?

Man’s Best Friend my arse, I bet the old guy made the dog stay off the furniture.

6

Hmmm. Man & woman are living together, they drive up together, SHE is at the controls. HER dog jumps in and gooses the accelerator. She is not being charged.

Hmmm. Do I have a suspicious mind?

7

Police: Can you describe what happened Ma’am?

Wife: (In the voice of Tommy Flanagan, The Pathological Liar) Uhhhhh, the dog did it. Yeah, yeah, I was justing sitting there and the dog jumped on the gas pedal. Yeah! That’s the ticket.

*Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 1985–86 - Wikipedia

8

??? The car will always move forward if you’re stopped with the motor running. You have to keep your foot on the brake. Or put it in park.

If the dog hit the accelerator then the lady’s foot should have already been on the brake. All she had to do was press down harder.

But, I can see the car lurching forward and hitting the guy. It’s hard to brake hard enough to overcome pushing the accelerator.

9

From the article, it sounds like she was preparing to back the van through the gate, so she was in reverse. It says she’d opened the door to look at where he was standing when the dog jumped in.

But, yeah, my first thought was, “Oh, the dog did it, did he?”

10

That brought quite a grin, well done.

11

Ya gotta love Wall of Voodoo. :wink:

12

I’m gonna go 'head and assume that this is relevant here.

13

It must be a “she”. Everybody knows bitches can’t drive.

Also, what was her blood alcohol level?

14

“Ms Fortner, while its awfully unusual to have a double indemnity policy on someone you are not living with, your paperwork is in order and it was clearly an accident.”
[Iris Fortner]“Good doggie…! Such a good dog! You get a treat…”[/Iris Fortner]

15

I need to open a thread in IMHO.

I’m visiting my mother-in-law soon. What sort of dog should I buy her?

16

A heavy one with big feet.

17

I’m going straight to hell because I CAN NOT stop laughing :D:D:D