I’m 64, and it seems that every day I hear of a younger person dying. Recently there were three celebrity deaths: Art Linkletter, Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper. Linkletter’s death didn’t bother me too much, because he had a full life and more years than most people get. Same with Hopper, though he was only 9 years my senior. But I feel very sad about Gary Coleman’s death at 42, even though I wasn’t really a fan of his. Nobody should die at only 42.
And obviously many people die much earlier . . . and even babies die. It just makes me sad that so many people don’t even have a chance at life before they’re gone. And when I hear about a soldier dying, so often he’s young enough to be my son or grandson.
How do you feel when you hear of a person younger than you who has died? Is it a different feeling than if they were older than you? I don’t mean someone you personally knew, but a stranger or a celebrity.
When you’re in your teens or twenties and hear of someone dying in their 40’s or 50’s or 60’s, you don’t think it’s all that unusual. After all, they’ve lived longer than you have. But when you’re in your 60’s, you think damn, they won’t see their kids get married, or their grandkids grow up. They’ll miss out on things that were important in your own life. But as a teen, you might think well, that person has lived a full life, or had a chance to do most of what they wanted to do.
That doesn’t make any sense at all, but it’s where I’m at.
A couple of months ago the daughter of a cousin of mine died and then some weeks later her father. It somehow seems natural at our age (I’m a couple of years younger than you) that our parents pass away but not our children.
I, at 28, feel pretty much the same way you do, when someone dies without having a normal-ish life span of at least 70 years. It is more pronounced when someone’s on the younger end of that spectrum, since there’s so much more that they’ll be missing out on. I know this isn’t about people we know, but my perspective on what’s ‘young’ in the U.S. was reset when my mom died at 52, because of things like AuntiePam listed. Before that, I probably would’ve looked a death at age 60, the way I do at 70 now.
One of my high school teachers dropped dead on his treadmill; he had a heart attack. Both of his parents were overweight and smoked, they dropped dead in their early 40’s. He vowed to not go the same route, and worked out twice a day, ate insanely healthy. He made it to 45. It just blew me away. Our student government raised money for a fund to help his son go to college, but it was just so mind blowing. His wife - also in her 40’s - didn’t have a single gray hair; that’s when it really hit just how young he was.
I think that people like Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Martin Luther King Jr, Princes Diana are probably much more esteemed because they achieved fame and died young. They didn’t have time to mess up too much.
Well we remember them in their prime; we never saw them grow old. There’s a kind of magic we attribute to that.
I used to feel that way, but since I turned 40 I no longer do. I’m a bit older than Coleman but even with all his issues he still had a much better life than me.
I used to think that once you hit a certain age, you’d feel lucky or satisfied just to wake up in the morning, but it doesn’t work like that. Old people want to live just as much as the young ones.
Yeah, no.
I was 15 when my dad died at the very young age of 41. Not once did I ever think he was old. That’s just ridiculous.
I don’t really feel much remorse for most celebrities or strangers. I didn’t know them.
John Lennon’s murder was a hard one, but I idolized him and his music, so it was a bit more personal.
My Dad was 72 when he died. I was at peace with that. I wish he could have stuck around for a few more years, but his life was good.
Young people, who I happen to know, is definitely the hardest. A cousin, four years younger than I, died a couple of years ago. I felt bad for her family.
I think when any young person dies, whether you know them personally or not, strikes a chord. The one that shocked me the most (recently) was when Brittany Murphy died. I never met her, but she wasn’t much older than my girlfriend. That just made me think that just because you’re in your 20s or 30s, you’re not immune to death. So few of us realize how precious (and fragile) life is.