When Chefs Attack!

Ah, the joys of trash television! A one hour show devoted to closed circuit camera clips of restaurant employees misbehaving or improvising in the most curious fashions.

Having worked in several restaurants as both staff and chef I am confident that some of these takes are staged. Some of the scenes dipicting people adding certain, erm… special ingredients have too-perfect camera angles. On the other hand, some of them are so imaginative as to defy scripting. Playing golf with tomatoes is one of them, the “barmat” drink recipe is another.

I’m glad to say that my own professionalism has never even allowed me to consider putting out a cigar in a hotcake or placing dropped food back on a plate. Many of the shots amount to this sort of malicious or stupid behavior. Some of the verbally abusive scenes are half-way believable.

The worst that I’ve ever witnessed was a waitress huffing the whipping cream nitrous in the presence of the floor manager. I’ve had a jealous undercook overseason a large batch of meatloaf. But then, when you ask someone to add some hot pepper to ten pounds of meat and they add a cup of red pepper flakes you know who the real flake is. More often it’s a case of a sweetheart deal someone has that results in overstock and waste.

Anyone see this show? Anyone else ever see weird@ss high jinks in the kitchen?

I didn’t see the show…but I am about to admit to a dark secret…
A long time ago, I worked at a cozy little hell called Denny’s, (but I’m not going to say which one…) on the graveyard shift or as we called it “the let’s amuse the drunks to get what’s left of their money” shift. Not all drunks are easily amused or even pleasant to be around. Well, ummmmm… you see…There used to be another version of Visene. (yes the eye drop stuff) They’ve since changed it and left out something, an ingredient, that one or two drops would give you the runs in about 5 minutes. We didn’t use it often, but it was used.

all the restaurants ive worked in have been too busy for that stuff, altho one sadist i worked with exulted in superheating the plates for obnoxious waitrons to burn themselves with. other than that, i do have one story about andre, the drunken polish chef from hell. its kinda dirty and super offensive to gays and women, can i tell it here? little shitheel wuz kinda funny, if you could stay out of his way.

erm, not that i think sexist slurs are funny! these ones, tho, are, kinda, i guess, only cuz of the context and that theyre so ludicrous, geez, now i feel guilty again. damn these boards! (insert super grinny emoticon to indicate that i am having fun now)

When I heard about this show, I knew I had to watch it. Well, actually, tape it since I was working at my school’s production kitchen (how appropriate!) when it aired.

I knew it was going to be awful and trashy, but what I didn’t expect was the fuzzy dots on the faces of the dog and the cockroach. That kept me laughing through the entire thing.

I do get a feeling that some of the “outtakes” were staged, like the guy urinating into the jar of relish. Yet, the chef interviewed (dammit, what’s his name, Boudian?) had it right about the adrenaline rush and tempers running hot. Verbal abuse is not an uncommon thing on the line, even though the scene with the British chef was way out of line.

I’ve been lucky, as my experiences run within my school, and we’re allowed to throw away product if it hits the floor. Unfortunately, as it was said in the program, that managers/head chefs do get pissed off when food is wasted, and in the lower-priced establishments (note that most of these outtakes came from fast-food/greasy spoon/sandwich shop type places), sometimes they will pick up the food if it hits the floor, just to save their job. I mean, why does that minimum-wage fry cook care if you’re eating what he scraped off the floor mat? <sigh>

But, I have to admit… when I first heard of “When Chefs Attack,” I had that mental image of when John Cleese was dressed up as the mad French Chef in The Meaning Of Life…

The fuzzy dot face roach was effing hilarious! Attention to detail, how admirable!

Thank you for having the ovaries to mention this explicitly. I wanted to, but found myself too stodgy to bring it up. This was the too perfect camera angle that I mentioned.

I agree Java, this is why I specifically alluded to the “verbally abusive” segments as well.

You obviously threw out the t-shirt long ago my epicurian empress. (As in; Read the book, saw the movie, been there, seen that, done it, bought the t-shirt, threw it out, bought another one… )

The first rule; “Never kill a customer!”


what, they don’t teach the three second rule at your school?

For the beer matching dinner, I received a 100%. I only had to make one course for the class, so I made the chocolate & hazelnut tart with the orange & triple sec reduction sauce–the chef was pleased.

I don’t have the grade for the last menu, as my fellow students were being tested over the past two weeks–we’ll have our grades in the next week or so.

I missed this!

When/where was it aired? Food Network?

I was just about to eat dinner when this show came on. I read the disclaimer, looked down at my plate, read the disclaimer again and changed the channel. Fast. (I just got over being sick. The last thing I want is a relapse.)

When I was 17 I briefly worked at a pizza place in the mall food court. The stuff I saw probably wasn’t as bad as the stuff on this show, but it still made me sick. If food fell on the floor, the manager would look around to make sure that no customers were watching and then put it back on the plate for sale. Old salads were “refreshed” by adding a few fresh slices of pepper or onion on the top. Vegetables were kept in the refrigerator until they turned blue with mold. I only worked there for about two weeks before I quit, and the business closed down shortly after that.


::Zenster does the happy dance!::