I tell them not to cover this topic for their argument essay or for the research paper. I tell them that the topic is overdone. I tell them that there are many other topics they could tackle instead of falling back on this one. But every semester, a couple choose to ignore me and write about it anyway, and this is the kind of crap they produce:
Women should never have abortions because it will hurt the child’s feelings.
When abortions are finally outlawed, fetuses around the world will cry out for joy!
:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Actually, the first one made me laugh, but the second one was just too frakking stupid to laugh at.
I wish I could remember which college class I was in where a professor, in response to a statement a student made in class, said: “That’s a very interesting viewpoint. It’s wrong, and I’ll explain why, but it’s interesting.”
Am I the only one wondering what sort of grade these students will be getting, given that A) they ignored the instructions and B) are apparently unable to coherently defend a point in a simple essay?
I…wwwent to…to…Vvvvan Ggggelder Uuuuuunivvversittty. Bebebebe…beware! Of Ddddddoctor Aaaa! Aaadamms!
Seriously, the art of effective essay writing is certainly in decline, judging by the SAT/ACT essays I grade. Maybe 25% are 4’s, vast majority are 2’s & 3’s, very rarely see a 5, 6’s are in Unicorn Territory.
It’s a CC, but I can tell you from experience that they’re no better in the universities.
I should mention that many of the other students are quite bright, capable of following instructions, and actually studying and learning as they go along. There are some good writers in the composition classes.
However, there is always a cluster of students who can’t think, can’t/won’t heed directions, cannot write, etc. Many of them are international students who slipped into a composition classes by way of various loopholes in the American language and ESL components. Others are native-born but not necessarily at an advantage.
They get the grades that they earn. I’ve been handing out Ds and Fs all over the place, and the other comp. teachers tell me they’re doing the same.
That said, here is another gem: a student turned in a rough draft in which he railed and ranted about how Hillary Clinton shouldn’t be running for First Lady.
I wrote on the draft that it made no sense and he needed to pick another topic. He did, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. I’m almost afraid to look.
Do you find that the copious use of drugs aids you in reading and grading these papers? Or maybe you don’t need them…
Last year, I forwarded your Best Of to my daughter, who is in college, and she loved them. Keep 'em coming.
As a matter of fact I am a survivor of abortion and do not find this thread funny in any way. Please feel free to start a thread in the “ask the”… vein.
Better make it a double. The dork I mentioned at the bottom of post #9 turned in an essay which turned out to be copied entirely from a news article written by Paul Krugman. 100% plagiarized; no attribution, no changes, nothing. :smack:
The papers turned in on homosexuality aren’t much better, BTW. Here are some doozies from them:
No parent would like to see their child become a gay or lesbian.
[Apparently, this student has telepathic access to all parents’ minds and they all think the same way, too! He also refers to homosexuality as being a “train of thought.”]
People with AIDS deserve to suffer and die because they didn’t have sex with a virgin.
That sounds like time to call him into your office, with his essay and the original side-by-side, and ask if he’s got an explanation. That look on his face should be priceless.
