When did you know he/she wasn't the one?

In My Humble Opinion
81

hwell…

I should have known when I found out she was 15, not 18 (Me being 20 at the time - she was mature)
I should have known by her mood swings.
I should have known when she was visiting another male friend to get free cocaine every other day.
I should have known when she accidently sent SMS’s to me instead of above mentioned friend (our names were next to each other in her phone) that suggested more than just friends.

And then she appaarently took a home pregnancy test, and guess what? She was apparenty pregnant. (In my favour, I did smell a small furry pest, but was too trusting) She then apparently went to a doctor friend who apparanetly gave her some wonder pill that caused an abortion. (Even more fishy, there was just something, the way she said it, the way she acted).

Between “finding out she was pregnant” and “visiting the doctor” there was a whole incident where she “tried” to break up with me, love-blind fool that i was, i fought it, insisted that i wanted to stay with her, be a family, etc, etc, etc.

Shortly afterwards we had an argument and I just lost it and told her exactly where to take her wanna-be-but-not-quite-gothic prissy bullsh1t.

Then she had a catalogue of every gift she had given me, and demanded it all back - as you can guess i said FU… the gifts still remind me of the betta times.

Long story short, she used the pregnancy scam to “bring us closer together”, the whole breaking up thing was just to make it more believable.

The irony is, kind of on the re-bound, i went back to one of my exes, got her pregnant and we now live together with her mom until we can get settled by ourselves. we have a long future blanned for both of us, and look forward to raising Blair Chrystal together with love… a family (and she’s already talking about the next child - gulp)

yeah…

was that kind of what you had in mind
Ps. Ladies: don’t jerk guys around with fake pregnancies… a lot of guys are willing to take responsibility for the actions of their dicks, and that is one of the easiest ways to hurt them!

82

oh yeah, we were together about 9 months, at that stage my lngest running relationship

83

i knew that none of my ex-boyfriends were ‘the one’ when my focus wasn’t on being together for however long it lasted. instead it was always in my mind that things would end eventually.

84

When I realized he had absolutely no interest in accommodating my dietary restrictions. He always picked restaurants that he knew (or should have) had only one or two selections I could eat, and that I didn’t enjoy them. He seemed to be aware of the problem, but didn’t have the creativity/interest/drive to find another restaurant (I was unfamiliar with the city).

I don’t think that inability/lack of interest in accommodating a weird diet is in any way bad. Just that anyone who I am going to be eating with regularly, had better do it.

85

How about when I try telling her something that I find really interesting, and within a sentence or two, she has switched off and watches the TV, and doesn’t notice when I stop talking?

I mean, once or twice I can handle, but it’s been like this for the last few years. :frowning:

86

When he bought me a shot glass for my birthday and made a really big deal out of it. I wasn’t at all surprised to find out he was an alcoholic a few months after we broke up.

87

When I was sick with the flu, and I asked him to run up to the pharmacy to pick up some cough medicine for me. “What do I look like, your bitch?”

Yeah…you can’t get me robotussin, I’m all set…

88

[1.] This girl was gorgeous, but not too smart. One day, after S-- and I had dated for several months, I was talking to another girl and though “I wish I could put this girl’s brain in S–'s body.” Then I realized that I was thinking this any time I talked to any girl.

[2.] My brother and sister-in-law came over to visit. After watching them for a while, I realized that I should be a lot happier than I was. It seemed that I liked her son, and the idea of having a family, but not really her.

89

  1. When he had one of his fits of screaming at me over the phone for three hours and hanging up so that I’d phone back and beg so he could hang up again so I could beg some more and humiliate myself generally some more, knowing that these were the rules of the game and if I begged and abased myself enough he would, eventually, relent as long as I accepted that this was somehow all my fault and I should be grateful that he was willing to let me lick his boots - only, this time, I was at a friend’s apartment, and there was a witness. And it’s not as if she even said anything. But I saw the whole situation through the lens of sanity for the first time, and realised it was sick and had to stop. Still took a year, mind you.

  2. When we were up at his cabin with a couple of friends and had agreed that we were going to go on down to the city once we finished packing up. So we did, and then he sat down and had a beer. Okay, I thought, and had one myself. Then he had another, and I didn’t. Then he had another. Eventually the friends excused themselves and headed back down to the beach, since he had unilaterally decided that we weren’t going anywhere because he had to get his drunk on. After he’d had another three or four I went down to the beach myself.

By a couple of hours later he was seriously wasted and drove to the store to get more beer (I found this out later). Got back without incident, got drunker. Hours went by while we were all politely held hostage, not knowing what to say.

Finally I sent his friends on to the city without us because I didn’t want him to embarrass himself in front of people he cared about - accepted without question that it was my job to protect the drunk boyfriend. I was even proud of how I managed to protect him from embarrassing himself more, got him to sleep it off some because he was so drunk I didn’t even want him in the passenger seat for fear he would playfully yank the wheel or step out of the moving vehicle or some such.

And I felt quietly competent, confident, happy to be able to take care of someone. Only I never felt the same way about him after that. Never. It took me months to realise that I had a right to be furious that I’d HAD to take care of him.

90

I decided he wasn’t the one when I kept wanting to change small things about him, after he had told me he loved me because I was the only one who loved him for himself. I couldn’t handle the hypocricsy that would ensue.

Of course, that was not the only factor to the breaking up, but it did play an important role.

/Shadez

91

I gradually realized he wasn’t the one when…

…it dawned on me that no matter how accomodating/patient/tolerant I let myself be, his kisses would never stop making me nauseous.

…I couldn’t depend on him to do basic things without some annoying caveat. Sure, I would love for you to cook dinner tonight. But can you please get around to doing it before bedtime?

…I dreaded seeing him when I got home from school.

…I discovered that his idea of fun on a Friday night was to go shopping at Walmart.

…one morning he decided to throw a cup of water on me (after I got dressed up for a school function) and laughed hysterically at my bewildered anger. This was his idea of a funny prank. It was not.

…I realized that I would be VERY upset to discover that I was pregnant with his child.

…I started wondering if it would even be possible for me to love any children we made together.

That last sign was the impetus for our break up, needless to say.

92

I knew he wasn’t the ONE when he played a sadistic, cruel joke on me.

Years earlier, I had been stalked by a psycho I had gone on one date with. It was the whole nightmare scenario- being followed, creepy late night phone calls, culminating in being physically attacked and restraining orders galore. For months, I slept with a knife under my pillow. It was a long time before I allowed myself to date again, as you can imagine.

Then I met the guy who I thought was THE ONE. We dated for a few months, and then he thought it would be a hoot to have his friend “stalk” me. He left cryptic notes on my mailbox at home, called me at work to tell me how I “looked cute in my blue shirt” and such. Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck. After a week of this, my BF finally confessed he set the whole thing up , and was stunned at how upset I was. He never did understand why I reacted so much to his prank- after all, it was all just a “joke”