I was 27 and had never had a date or a boyfriend (and for the record, not that it matters, I’m not particularly underweight, overweight, ugly, or gorgeous. Fairly average. Maybe cute but certainly not beautiful). I was sitting in a bar one night with a friend having the usual Friday-night-in-a-bar-with-girlfriend kind of conversation - the topic was “your ideal man” (I kinda cringe to think of that now…). My friend and another girl both said simple things -“sense of humor, nice-looking,” whatever. When it was my turn, I went off with a long, involved list.
My friend told me later that what she was thinking was “my god, no wonder you’re single.” But what she said was “oh my God, I know that guy. You have to meet my friend John.”
She was playing pool with him a week later and arranged for me to met them in the same bar (he didn’t know it was a setup). Within about three weeks he’d asked me out on a date. On the one-year anniversary of our first date, he proposed. We got married just over a year after that, and our 6th wedding anniversary will be coming up in March.
How did I know he was “the one”? Part of the reason I’d never had a date or a boyfriend was that I was so not shy, exactly, but I’ll use that term for lack of a better one. I thought I couldn’t talk to persons of the male persuasion. I thought I was so boring that one wouldn’t talk to me anyway, much less date me. I thought I was ugly, I thought I was fat, I had no self-confidence, a very bad self-image and a large brick wall built up around me (it’s amazing, isn’t it, the things we talk ourselves into?). But when I met Mr. Cricket, I didn’t think of any of that. By the time we’d gone on our first date (after a few group excursions), I was already wondering if he could be it, just because I couldn’t believe that it was so easy for me -it was already like he was my best friend. When we started talking about moving in together I was sure - for me to go from never-been-on-a-date to moving in together 8 months later, I just knew.
He’s been wonderful for me - my staunchest advocate - and has helped me realize that while I’m nowhere near perfect, I’m NOT ugly, boring, too fat, too skinny, etc. I’m pretty OK. And I’ve been good for him, too.
(who thinks she’s going to call her husband right now and tell him that he’s wonderful…but still has to do the dishes!)