When you knew he/she was THE ONE...

My parents are notoriously closed-mouthed on the details of their romance pre-marriage. I do know that they were a blind date, met in February, got engaged in August, married in November.

I don’t know when they decided they were meant to be; I’d like to know. If I have children, which I doubt, I’ll certainly tell him how my partner and I courted.

Anyway. I’ve been dating my current SO for nearly a year now, and things are quite serious. I’m 99.9999 percent sure we’re going to end up married within the next five years.

It hasn’t been one isolated incident that decided that he was THE ONE for me, but here’s a couple of examples that are a little hard to miss…

I’m a rabid T. S. Eliot fan. On my birthday last March, he gave me an out-of-print edition of all of Eliot’s works.

The next month when I came to visit him (we’re a long-distance relationship), he had covered the bedroom in dark-red rose petals.

Needless to say, I’m pretty damn lucky. :smiley:

And so, now I want to hear your stories, whether they ended well or badly.

We met when we were 15, hit it off quickly, and I have never wanted to be with anyone else as a partner. We dated for about 7 years, then got engaged. Ups and downs, yes. But we’ve been married over 21 years now.

Don’t know if that helps.

Well, the first actual inkling I got was when she drove 130 miles to come and get me when my car fell asleep (and didn’t wake up for a few weeks). And then 130 miles back. And she had school that day, too.

And then there’s the whole “she said yes” thing, which pretty much sealed the deal for me:)

Well, I’m fundamentally against the idea of there being any such thing as “the one”–if I get hit by a car tomorrow, I hope to hell my husband wouldl someday in the fairly close future (a few years, say) find someone he could be as happy with as the two of us are now.

That said, I think I knew that I might have found someone pretty damn special the second or third time we started up a casual conversation–he quoted one stanza of “Thomas the Rhymer” and I quoted the next one right back. After that, how could we not give ita go?

Furthermore, he thought I looked really cute in my knit cap. This was signifigant not so much because it was complementary (which was nice) but becaue I, myself, thought I looked especially cute in the hat nd everyone else I knew, man, woman, adult, child, universally thought it looked stupid.

Manda JO, I should’ve clarified that I’m against the idea of THE ONE FOREVER AND EVER AND ALWAYS for everyone–I would hope that if something happened to me and the only way my SO could get over it would be to find someone else…well, I hope he would.

But I’ve never really felt sure about wanting to marry someone before he came along. That’s more along the lines of what I meant. :slight_smile:

He had a car and a job, and had never been arrested.

I know it sounds weird, but on our first date, he was very honest with me, there was no trying to hide anything.

During dinner:

Waitress: “Would you like something to drink ?”
Hubby: " What do you have besides soda ? Soda gives me gas."

As we were saying goodnight,Hubby tells me " Just in case you ever touch the top of my head, you should know, I wear a hairpiece, I’m actually bald."

I thought it was all pretty funny, but I was touched that he wasn’t afraid to be so open.

That’s pretty good. :smiley:

he heard the whole story about me, and coped.

he thinks i’m the most beautiful woman in the world, and i think he’s the sexiest man.

we fit together so well when we snuggle.

when we sleep side by side i reach out to him in my sleep and pull him closer.

when he flew to Australia to be with me within days of graduating from high school (and he proposed 11 days later).

Our eighth wedding anniversary is on New Year’s Eve.

When did I know Georgie was a keeper? The first time I went to his place to send the whole weekend, I had STRONG reason to believe my period would come and ruin our “plans.” So I figured I’d be hones and tell him this ahead of time. What did he do? WHen I got to his place, he had made me the most increadable death-by-chocolate brownies with chocolate icing I’ve ever had.

That story impresses every woman I tell it to!


We were just mean to be. We both felt it immediately! Knew from the first w/e we spent together that he was THE one. You just know. It’s unexplainable to me in words…perhaps just very comfortable and a unique lust for each other?

Love is good.:smiley:

When he beat me at Scrabble.
And I liked it.

I knew he was the one when we got through a couple periods of “maybe he’s not the one” together. One time it was a “I think we don’t have much in common any longer” - we found our common interests, and came to appreciate that our differences allow us to handle things as a couple that we couldn’t separately. Another time I thought that maybe I could do better. I came to realize how my standards for “better” maybe weren’t right (for instance, looks fade for everyone eventually, but caring and consideration can definitely last), and how even if there was “better” out there, I was very happy with him.

If you can forge a close partnership that lasts after all the “I’ve met someone new and he’s/she’s perfect!” fireworks dim, that’s the kind of love that will endure.

When I met Paul, I was dating his best friend. We really didn’t get to know each other till after that relationship ended, though. We spent a whole summer online - up to 5 hours a night! He lived in New Orleans, LA - me near Rochester, NY, but my parents had decided to move back to LA that summer.

About a week before we moved, Paul told me he had a crush on me - so we planned a date. We got ice cream and ate it by the lake. Then he pulled out his guitar and sang a song he had written just for me. We stayed together all day and watched the sunset.

He’s so sweet - when I go to my LSU football games he stays at my apartment by himself (I’m a student, he’s not… and we just can’t afford his tickets). When I come home, he’s usually got hot cocoa or tea ready, and he has a tendancy to clean and do dishes for me.

We’ve been together about a year and a half now. I have quite an incling we’ll be together forever.

When I got very bad flu very suddenly, and ran for the bathroom. He followed me, held my head, and got me water.

That’s not terribly romantic, is it?

I, also, hope that he’d find someone else if I die.

Really, it’s lots of little things, adding up to one primary thing: he’s my best friend. He doesn’t blanch at the stuffed animals, the poetry obsession (He’s joined in. He can recite the first five minutes of A Child’s Christmas In Wales :slight_smile: ), my cooking mania… and we share love of literature, history, people, and cats. And a particular odd sense of humour. We fit.

There’s also (unromatically) the important element of, “We’ve thought about this, and decided we’re going to stay together for the rest of our lives, and dammit we’re going to do it!”, which is basically what our wedding vows say. I’m really not very romantic, am I?

It was a snow day that boiled my socks.

This was a major storm. The roads were impassable, everything shut down, even the buses weren’t running.

And I hiked four miles thru it, because I couldn’t think of anything better to do with an unexpected day off than spend it with her. I didn’t propose until a few weeks later, but that was the day I knew.

That was twenty-two years ago.

Now I don’t get those kinds of days, because I can work from home. Darn it.


hmmm… call me a hopeless Victorian romantic…but i’m very comforted in the fact that my hubby will NOT remarry if i should meet an early demise.

how did i know he was the one? we were very attracted to each other but both in other relationships. we both fought and fought against our feelings and became very good friends (we worked together in the same office) for 6 months before ending our other relationships and a month after “finally getting together” he told me he loved me at the top of a jungle gym in a park late at night while we were gazing at the moon…

yeah, romantic… i like that… 8^)

we’ve been married for 3.5 years now and although the relationship has had it’s trials and tribulations, i’m still as crazy about him as ever! :slight_smile:


I was 27 and had never had a date or a boyfriend (and for the record, not that it matters, I’m not particularly underweight, overweight, ugly, or gorgeous. Fairly average. Maybe cute but certainly not beautiful). I was sitting in a bar one night with a friend having the usual Friday-night-in-a-bar-with-girlfriend kind of conversation - the topic was “your ideal man” (I kinda cringe to think of that now…). My friend and another girl both said simple things -“sense of humor, nice-looking,” whatever. When it was my turn, I went off with a long, involved list.

My friend told me later that what she was thinking was “my god, no wonder you’re single.” But what she said was “oh my God, I know that guy. You have to meet my friend John.”

She was playing pool with him a week later and arranged for me to met them in the same bar (he didn’t know it was a setup). Within about three weeks he’d asked me out on a date. On the one-year anniversary of our first date, he proposed. We got married just over a year after that, and our 6th wedding anniversary will be coming up in March.

How did I know he was “the one”? Part of the reason I’d never had a date or a boyfriend was that I was so not shy, exactly, but I’ll use that term for lack of a better one. I thought I couldn’t talk to persons of the male persuasion. I thought I was so boring that one wouldn’t talk to me anyway, much less date me. I thought I was ugly, I thought I was fat, I had no self-confidence, a very bad self-image and a large brick wall built up around me (it’s amazing, isn’t it, the things we talk ourselves into?). But when I met Mr. Cricket, I didn’t think of any of that. By the time we’d gone on our first date (after a few group excursions), I was already wondering if he could be it, just because I couldn’t believe that it was so easy for me -it was already like he was my best friend. When we started talking about moving in together I was sure - for me to go from never-been-on-a-date to moving in together 8 months later, I just knew.

He’s been wonderful for me - my staunchest advocate - and has helped me realize that while I’m nowhere near perfect, I’m NOT ugly, boring, too fat, too skinny, etc. I’m pretty OK. And I’ve been good for him, too.

(who thinks she’s going to call her husband right now and tell him that he’s wonderful…but still has to do the dishes!)

I can’t explain how I knew. It just “was”. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but all I can describe it as is that I had a feeling like everything that I had ever wondered or questioned had been answered. I finally “got it”. Um - I’m not explaining this real well, I know. I guess with him I finally became “me”.

Does that make any sense at all?