When did you know you were in love?

This is based on the thread currently going on about when people felt was the right time to tell their significant others they loved them. Some of the posters mentioned they didn’t mention the “l” word for months, or even years, into the relationship. That got me very curious about how long it takes to fall in love for different people.

I fell in love with my SO within the first two weeks. We had one of those great first dates that turned into a three day long excursion and have been pretty much attached at the hip since. I’ve been really, truly in love twice in my life. Both times it was within a month that I knew I was in love. I’ve also been in serious relationships before where I was never in love, although I didn’t realize it until we broke up.

So what say you dopers? How long did it take you to fall in love?

It’s hard to say, based on the history that my husband and I share.

We met when I was 19 and he was 21. He lost his virginity to me. We dated for about six months, never really serious (I didn’t meet his parents or friends). We mutually broke it off, but stayed in touch. I got engaged and moved in with someone else. We became closer friends. I broke up with that someone else, and the weekend he moved out, I had to stay somewhere else. I stayed with my husband and essentially never left.

When did I fall in love with him? Hard to say. In a way, I’ve always loved him, but I never really took it seriously until I had a second chance. Once I trusted that what we had really meant something, loving him was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

I don’t know how to answer your poll. My husband and I met when we were 18, at freshman orientation of college. We were acquaintances for a year, and then we began to form a very close friendship. We had been best friends for months before we hooked up–it was one of those situations where everyone knew we were in love, but we had no clue.

The moment as best as I recall was an instant messenger conversation in which I had been having a bad day.

He offered me an internet hug.
I said, ‘‘If you were to hug me right now I would melt into a little puddle on the floor.’’
And there was a long pause. After which he replied, ‘‘Then I would scoop you up, put you in a container, wait until you re-solidified, and hug you all over again.’’

That was the most terrifying moment in my life, because I realized I was in love with my best friend. It would be another few weeks before I would have the courage to tell him. But yeah, we loved one another before we even fell in love, and the moment we realized our love was deeper than friendship, we also realized that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. It was… intense.

We talked online and on the phone for a couple of months, then met in person. It took parting to make it completely clear to me that this person was the most important person in my life. From there, it didn’t take but a week or so to realize that I had fallen hard.

Yeah, I guess it’s a little hard to answer for people who were good friends with their SO before they started dating. Your story is beautiful, btw.

I’m looking for from the time you started dating (or became romantic if there isn’t a clearly defined time) and when you knew you were in love.

My partner and I met over 22 years ago, and we both felt something very immediate, almost like being stunned. We wound up spending the entire weekend together, mostly in bed, and have been together every since.

Neither of us had ever felt anything like that with anyone else.

I’ve fallen in love several times.

::stops to count:: four times.

(that is amazing, isn’t it?)

“Sight” has nothing to do with it. Emerges from conversation, always.

I love your story! I have been in love a few times but the first time it was love at first sight. He has been dead for 23 years but I still love him. The second time it took a few weeks and it was very sweet. I should have married him. I have never found anyone like him since and that was 13 years ago. I still love him too but he is happily married and I was dumb to let him go. We dated for 6 years and got engaged and I got cold feet.

Five weeks. At that point in our relationship I went to my class reunion (without her.) After an evening spent socializing with my former classmates, many of whom were still available, I realized that my new friend was more interesting and lovable than any of them. I proposed a week later.

Whoa, I like it kunilou! Are you guys still married?

No option for 1-2 months? Bah!


Upon reflection, I don’t know that I am. Or ever have been. Or even know what it means. Yeah, times are tough at the moment.

I would say from the time I start dating someone it usually takes a month before I know if I want the relationship to be long-term. I’m not sure if I would say I’m ‘in love’ with them by that point, but certainly I know if my feelings are deeper than something just casual.

However, I dated one guy for a couple months or so, and while it was a pretty casual relationship that neither of us wanted to get serious, I do love him - just not as a boyfriend. We ended the physical aspect of our relationship, but stayed friends (went to dinner or met for coffee a couple times a month, and talked online or on the phone a couple times a week) and we’re still pretty good friends.

29 years and 3 kids.

We were co-workers for several months and both crushing without the other knowing so it’s hard to answer. I felt a love almost immediately after we became an item, after that first kiss… but it was immature and blind.

Love is funny though. I’m not exactly sure what it is. It’s tricky.

Gee, I still don’t know what exactly “love” is supposed to mean. I was crazy about him after the third date and sure I wanted to marry him after the fourth.

I’m not currently with anyone, although I’m sort of casually dating 5 women.

I told me last GF I loved her on our 4th date, before we even had sex. But I felt it on date 2. Ah hell, I knew it the minute I met her.

We lasted a year, we’ve been apart for a year, and I still love her.

Hasn’t happened to me yet :frowning:

When she told me.:smiley: Just kidding. I’ve been in love many times, often without ever meeting her in person. To me, love is something that you either know exists or know it doesn’t. It could be very temporary and only last a few seconds, or last a lifetime. Others will tell you that loving someone you barely met or have seen isn’t “true” love. I disagree, because love for something or someone comes from within you. I don’t think that I’d be going out on a limb by saying that you control who you love and when you love them. If you’re of the mindset to make the “leap of faith” and believe that love is outside of your control, then you may make it last forever. On the other hand, if you’re the type to constantly examine your life and feelings, you may determine that the love is no longer there. I was married and definitely loved my wife. Now that we’re divorced, friends and family often come up to me and say: “Well, you probably weren’t really in love.” I think that this is fallacious. Everything is temporary. The belief that it didn’t exist because it didn’t last forever is somewhat patronizing to my ex, my kids and me, who truly value that time, no matter how short it was.

Every time I’m forced to spend the evening at a show or with people I don’t really care for, I love my SO a little more!

I can’t remember when I first felt it, but I think we said it after our first big fight. That’s really the test for me, how they act when things are bad. He proved himself to be mature and sweet and completely patient with my childishness (which I’m working on, for his sake).