Title says it all. How quickly have you met someone, hung out, and decided you had fallen in love with them? Not just “That woman/man is gorgeous. I am in love.”, but “This person is very special to me and I care about them deeply” sort of love.
No, those aren’t very good definitions of love. If I could define love, I would be the wealthiest and happiest man on Earth.
The closest thing to love at first site I have to offer was a friend of mine I met when I was 15 or so, so I’m sure that doesn’t REALLY count. I met him and spiralled into a six year infatuation.
Aside from that, as a mature (hardly) woman, the only case of love took me months to experience. He told me he was in love with me at the 3 month mark and I stared at him blindly until he said I didn’t have to reciprocate. Still feel guilty about that.
I proposed to my wife three or four weeks after we met. She said yes, and we were married within six months. This month we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.
Before that, I had been told repeatedly that I was the kind of guy who ‘just can’t commit to anyone’. Turns out, I just had to love the other person.
Well, my current relationship (my only relationship ever) grew from a friendship. Makes it hard to classify, because I knew after just a few IM conversations (we were introduced online by a mutual friend) that he was someone special I would grow to love and cherish as a friend and that I was quite attracted to him, but I couldn’t have said “I’m in love with this guy”. And to be honest, I don’t know exactly where the transition came in. All I know is that now, 19 months after we first talked (and 6 months after getting together), I do love him.
Now if only I could get up the nerve to utter the three little words, because I’m not so sure they’ll ever get said if I leave it up to him to do it first.
I had a girl, with whom I’d had certain “encounters” twice over a three month period. She had a boyfriend and I liked her, but not in love, for sure. But I started to hang out with her more and more and the proverbial sparks began to fly, and I confessed my love to her. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have never been so scared of rejection, but eventually it worked out (for a little while). But I’d say it was a couple of weeks before I was madly in love with her from the time I began to know her as a person.
I knew my best beloved Hon for a couple of years before we got close. The night we wandered off together after a Reggae concert, I remember so well…we held hands in the backyard of his house, and just held our hands tightly, talking. It was like lightning struck—unspoken waves of connection, so powerful it bowled us both over. We didn’t do the sex thing until a bit later. It was such a great connection right off.
Hasn’t been all roses and glory since then, split up, back together, a few times. But mostly, through it all, the love shined through. 20 years later, people comment on how sweet it is to see 40 year olds holding hands just walking down the street.
My wife started out as a mail-order customer. Over the course of the spring and summer, we wrote to each other and became friends. The letters got longer and more personal. She looked up my number and called me on my birthday in October. We both knew there was something afoot. In December, I flew down from Canada to meet her in person. On that trip, we said our first “I love you” face-to-face, and before I left, I asked her to marry me. She said yes. A year and a half later we were married, and it’ll be 7 years in May.
I knew there was something really special about this guy on our first date. Three weeks and four days later, it hit me like a bolt of lighting. “Oh my God. I love him.” He said it first, though - the very next day.
He said, “Can I scare the crap out of you?”
“You can try.”
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
I laughed. “Really? 'Cause I just figured out yesterday that I’m in love with you.”
He proposed four weeks later, but we waited for about 18 months to get married. Our fourth anniversary is in June.
“It don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.”
Common
I fell for Ben the first night. It was a cookout party, and we had talked all day, but I thought I’d take him for a spin. It was only after the spin that I just wanted to lock him up in my room and keep him there forever.
(Don’t worry, I feed and water him and give him all the sex he wants. He’s quite happy in confinement. )
Quite frankly anyone who says they’re in love immediately is talking out of their arse in my book. You can’t fall in love with someone you don’t know. It defies logic.